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    ZanderJGavin

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    Greetings Internet. And thank you for joining me tonight.


    ZanderJGavin, Alexander James Gavin, or the "Voice of Anon" is a dumbfuck who claims to be a true Anon, and also claims to be the leader of anons. their. Aside from making videos about events weeks after they happen, he often trolls an arbitrary amount of people and sometimes Anons too. It has been speculated that he may be a fatass as he engages often in heavy breathing, although the cock that his daddy forced down his throat as a kid may explain it in greater detail, as well as adding validity to the explaination itself. Some say he broadcasts in his basement, which is over 9000 degrees Celsius, which may explain the rapist breathing.

    File:Voice of anon.JPG
    The voice of anon, in the many layers of flesh!
    Savior of Anon according to ZanderJGavin.

    The Voice of Anon

    Approximately Last Thursday, an anon had noticed this and immediately posted this on the /b/ boards, rallying the /b/s for justice, as Zander mentioned 4chan and anonymous, which, naturally, over 9000 newfags perceived to be a violation of rules 1 and 2. The /b/s rallied up and started to troll the fuck out of him. Most of his videos are just him rambling random bullshit while wearing an anon mask, heavy breathing, and random bullshit. And random bullshit. Aside from being totally short and interesting, his videos also make you want to watch all night long. And if you actually decide to watch his videos after being bludgeoned in the head with a hammer you WILL be spending all night long watching them because they average being 13 MINUTES LONG!!!!1!

    The Great "Fail" Raid Against ZanderJGavin

    Apparently, last Thursday some /b/s attempted to hack the great ZanderJGavin, which is impossible because of his great looks, anon skills, cunning, wit, and +5 intelligence from his Anon Mask. In his reply to this raid many lies and lulzy quotes can be found. Along with this he continues to bitch about JoshChristian.


    On August 24, 2010 the Great Zander had this to say (note this video is ANOTHER 15 minute long video and has only racked up at least 100 views, nothing of a threat at all):


    The Lies of ZanderJGavin in Said Video

       
     
    I have never made a personal army request on mychannel and if I have I will apologize for it
     

     
     

    —ZanderJ lying through his teeth

       
     
    I am a "reporter"
     

     
     

    wat?

       
     
    I have never called my self "The Voice of Anonymous"
     

     
     

    —Moar lies

       
     
    I am willing to bet 200 bucks, because thats all I pretty much all I have right now...
     

     
     

    —What a poor simple bastard

       
     
    Anonymous has no sence of leadership.
     

     
     

    —Obvious troll is obvious

       
     
    I live in lousiana its 95 degreese out there, and this apartment doesn't have a working air

    conditioner, I am sitting here in a black hoodie wearing a mask it is fucking hot...
     


     
     

    —Lying about why his fatness troubles his breathing

       
     
    The next accusation is that I think I am the leader of Anonymous, I've never pertained to

    be such
     


     
     

    —Lying about his self proclaimed title

       
     
    Your breaking rules 1 and 2 and calling me a newfag
     

     
     

    BAAAAAAWWWWWWWW

       
     
    Google "the boards" it will bring you to 4chans /b/ boards
     

     
     

    —Not only is this another lie but it breaks Rules 1 and 2

       
     
    This channel was started in January 2010...I am not a newfag
     

     
     

    —Not realizing the he is a newfag

       
     
    This is not an anonymous mask, it is a Guy Fawkes mask...
     

     
     

    —Verdict? One truth one lie. Truth: It is a Guy Fawkes mask. Lie: It is an anonymous mask, which is the only reason why he has it

       
     
    Many people think I am trolling, let me be clear, it is not my association with the group anonymous that puts me on the FBI's cyber crimes suspicion watch list.
     

     
     

    Wait, so he's on the FBI's cyber crime suspicion watch list?

       
     
    Hackers, I am not a white hat wannabe.
     

     
     

    —ZJG, being a white hat wannabe.

       
     
    [Through hacking], I have done things to which I am still very proud of, but to admit them what be incriminate myself...
     

     
     

    —ZJG, not realizing what hacking really is

       
     
    What I have done, most noticeably...[pause]...I can't say
     

     
     

    —ZJG, can't think of a lie

       
     
    Trolling is not getting people mad, its to get people to believe something!
     

     
     

    —ZJG, missing the point of trolling

       
     
    You guys didn't do your homework on me...I do not have an Encyclopedia Dramatica page!
     

     
     

    —Zander admitting that he didn't do his homework on us

       
     
    Anonymous does not reside at 4chan anymore, 4chan is dead.
     

     
     

    —Zander still proving he has no clue what the fuck is going on

    ZanderJGavin, Reporter Extraordinaire

    In this section we will further see what Daily Planet reporter, ZanderJGavin, Reporter Extraordinaire, has to say on several disputed issues.

    ZanderJGavin on The Cancer That Is Killing /b/

    Through great lengths of research, hours of watching Good Morning America, being a Jessi Slaughter fanboy, and fapping to loli, Zander comes up with the assumption that the cancer killing /b/ has finished the job.

       
     
    The cancer [that is killing /b/], has completely consumed it, it was on a fucking Good Morning America report, thank you Jessi Slaughter, or Jessie Leonhardt (stops to ramble on how to pronounce Leonhardt)
     

     
     

    —Zander thinks he knows whats going on, but doesn't.

    ZanderJGavin on Jessi Slaughter

    When Jessi Slaughter presented herself on youtube last thursday, ZanderJGavin proceeded (two weeks later) to say nothing of any relevance to no one of any consequence in one of his high quality broadcasts. The video was met with positive response, as approximately 94 Anons posted comments on his page and video, offering suitable courses of action. Which everyone ignored.

    Part I: Jessica Leonhardt

    Beginning with a short story on trolls, he then goes on to talk about Jessi Slaughter's return video on a friends account and clothing line, "OMG JESSI SLAUGHTER CLOTHES DO WANT!", is the real message seen here. Next commented is how the owner of the channel, YouTube Favicon.png KelcieKittyKat, saying Kelcie with the relaxed sigh of that of a pedobear.


       
     
    [sigh] Kelcie...[unseen smile]
     

     
     

    —Is Zander actually pedobear?

    After realizing his pedobear-like action he got down to business explaining how the video was removed due to death threats to Jessica's mother, and how since Jessi appeared on said channel trolls were at the ready to raid. He also mentions that the video by Kelcie mentioned the advertisement of her friend's channel. Like seriously, is this report about Jessi anymore or just about her friend?. Next he complains like a little bitch about how cool he is with his painkillers, Zanex antidepressants and oxycontin. Next he complained about Good Morning America's interview of her, and how they did not show her nude pictures which was what he was hoping for. Trying to pull a smooth move, he tried explaining to anons that he was mad that GMA, blamed anons and /b/ for Jessi Slaughter and no blame went to her. Not realizing that Jessi was only on GMA because of the shitload of trolling. He then states his favorite quote by her:


       
     
    All you haters can suck my non-existant penis, get AIDS and die
     

     
     

    —in the fashionable 12 year old girls voice.

    After realizing an error, again, he then tries to be smug about the quote by saying:


       
     
    Bitch, you just admitted to having AIDS
     

     
     

    —Then golf claps like a fag for 10 seconds

    Next came his idea of keeping kids off the internet until they're 15. So as he says:


       
     
    [mentions internet age minimum of 15]...so then JoshChristian, he's like 14 so that'll keep him off for like two months.
     

     
     

    —Zander just wont shut the fuck up about Josh,will he?


    For the rest of the video, the whole second half, only mentions Jessi once more and how she and JoshChristian should an hero and make the world better. Then tells us the story of the great Zander's childhood on how he got the shit beat out of him school for being an arrogant little shit. Randomly he tells us how he's going to Florida, probably to visit Jessi, and how a buttsecks buddy of his will cover for him. Now getting back to his "broadcast" as he calls it he tries to make a joke by asking the camera a question "What happens when kids go to school?", but even the camera hates him and does not answer, his question goes on for 30 seconds of nothingness until he answers the question himself. He says that when kid go to school, in a long chain reaction, they either go suicidal or homicidal, but says genocidal because he's too stupid to realize the difference. He mentions a random story in which a black guy shot a bunch of racist white guys, then asks was the black guy racist because he shot only white guys? No you stupid dumbfuck! He didn't realize that the white guys were the ones being racist to the nigra and instead of going back to pick cotton like a good negro he shot em up!

    Part II: (S)LAUGHTER

    In this video he just randomly talks about Jessi Slaughter. Once in a while he ties everything to JoshChristian, but nobody really gives a fuck.

    ZanderJGavin on Christfags

    Nothing really interesting here, the normal JoshChristian tie-in but then SEES THE LIGHT and admits that he too is christfag and tells of why he attacks Josh Then the whole video is like watching a Priest have a sermon on Public Access, fucking boring. But the whole christfag thing? Priceless.

    ZanderJGavin on JoshChristian

    ZanderJGavin is famous for his work regarding JoshChristian99. It should be noted that Zander hates Josh, because Zander is righteous in all respects. Approximately over 9000 percent of ZanderJGavin's videos are on the subject of JoshChristian, and should therefore be listened to in great detail, as both Zander and Josh are locked in an interstellar war which revolves around battling for resources and followers.

    Burning a Koran

    On April 19, 2010 (not 420) ZanderJGavin burned a Koran in a metal bucket. This is considered "an important" date because 5 months later, Koran Man would have the same idea but pussy out at the last second. This copy of the Koran had the infamous Anon messages all over it. Including:

    "We are anonymous"

    "We are legion" "We do not forgive" "We do not forget"

    "Expect us"

    And the ever famous:

    "For the Lulz"


    Following this he flips through the book and find what seems to have been place by a totally different person other then ZanderJGavin himself. And what that was is a picture of Barak Obama. Upon "finding" this, like a nigra he says "Awww, dats just wrong." And just to be a dick he throws a piece of ham in the bucket too (Muslims fear ham, lulz). Borrowing from his stash of piss he puts 3 day old piss in the bucket too, along with the bottle that held it (guess the bitch don't recycle, amirite?).Next he puts lighter fluid in the bucket and lights that shit up! From 2:30 until 5:53 its just the camera aimed at the fire, during this break he went and jerked off a homeless man. After 5:53 he gives a boring ass speech about respect and tells the people that the Obama picture was also in the fire. He declares "For the Win". He then proclaims that OP should never be questioned about delivering and asks the multitude of people what they'd do with a Koran, not realizing that most people don't know how to read.

    Burn a Koran Day

    On 9/11, 2010, our great hero of Anon released a video about Terry Jones. After explaining everything we know already he explains throughly the past of the Men of God and sheep-fucker. He then compares the United States military history to that of the Nazis and Japs. Following this he used Call of Duty terms to talk about weapons only realizing that his penis is really really REALLY small. Trying to be a pretty cool guy he says he will burn a Koran in a totally awesome, flame filled, family fun adventure! Following he says what he has wet dreams about (decapitation, and fun shit like that). As usual the JoshChristian stories are, once again, mentioned saying how easy is it to track an IP address, not mentioning that he is behind many proxies. Going all christfag he bashes the fuck out of Terry Jones. Within all this rage he says that he receives letters asking why he doesn't take his mask off and trying to show off his small cock he says that he has a gun and is willing to take others down with him if he was to get tracked and if an army arrived at his doorstep, pretending like people actually give a fuck about what he says. Once again in the wet dreams, he thinks the Pope gives a fuck about the Koran Burning. Not only realizing how fucking stupid the Koran burning idea was, and how stupid Terry Jones is for not having a "big dick", which we all know that he totally loves. Not realizing that the Koran is the Muslim Bible, he bitches about how he gets many (only 50) death threats and how by linking his Koran burning video "everywhere" he got 75 more, this thought of 125 death threats thrills him because he has now reached about 100 threats! And all he has to say is U MAD? Next on the agenda? Burning pictures of Muhammad. Cool story bro.


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