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When you press random in Oblivion's character creator
Artistic Rendition of Zaiger
Let this set the tone for the rest of the article

Brian Zaiger is the former admin of Encyclopedia Dramatica, who fell ass backwards into the role after GirlVinyl sold out the site, Ryan Cleary got arrested for being part of Lulzsec and Garrett became suddenly employed, so the position somehow defaulted to Zaiger, despite barely being a mod on, not having any skills and being banned from multiple times for being a faggot.

Despite constantly bitching about how Sherrod betrayed ED, he ended up being even worse than her and is now known as Sherrod 2: Electric Boogaloo. After gaining control of the site, Zaiger then spent the next few years running the ED into the ground with his laziness, incompetence, greed and technological illiteracy. Making the site unusable by flooding it with virus-ridden pop-up ads for porn sites and stealing all of the site's donations and ad revenue to fuel his on-again-off-again drug and alcohol addiction instead of paying for our hosting or the child support for his bastard son, then E-Begging the community and other staff members for more money so he could keep the site up (only to spend it all on booze yet again). In his wake, Zaiger left a long list of lost domains and resigning administrators, all of whom quit when they got sick of babysitting him to keep him from destroying the site while he's drunk, and doing his work for him because he doesn't know how to computer.

Zaiger's reckoning finally came when, after racking up nearly $100k in legal fees due to being personally sued for something someone wrote on the site, he had all of his admin privs wrestled away from him by the current administration who found out he was planning to sell the website, and kicked out of ED, still saddled with an insurmountable debt he acquired on ED's behalf that we no longer intend to help him pay.

Zaiger is currently homeless LOL ARRESTED.

Personal life

I don't love you. I don't even like you.


—Zaiger's father's last words to him.

The shithole Zaiger lives in LOL EVICTED!

Zaiger is the local town drunk of Salem Massachusetts. His father died of OD'ing and Zaiger proudly continued his legacy by developing a crippling drug and alcohol addiction. At some point Zaiger managed to impregnate some trailer park slut and has been avoiding alimony and child support payments ever since, only seeing his kids about once a year. He lives in what is basically a storage unit (lol evicted and homeless now), and his hobbies include: Desperately hiding his Jewishness (seriously he's 3/4 jew and trying to hide it), drinking, doing drugs, begging people for money online and making half-hearted suicide attempts every time he thinks about how shit his life is. Now that he doesn't even have this website as the only thing in his life to be proud of, we all eagerly await for him to finish the job.


Aside from whatever disgusting fat redneck whore he got preggos, ED is aware of at least three relationships Brian has been in involved in, in varying degrees of hilarious and sad.

Unnamed Baby Momma

At some point Zaiger impregnated some hoe with rich parents and has since become a deadbeat dad who doesn't pay his child support and only gets to see his son like once every few years (which is fortunate for the kid). The woman allegedly has a restraining order against him and had to file domestic abuse charges at one point because Zaiger is a wife beater on top of everything.

She asked us to keep her and her son's picture out of the article and we figured having sex with Brian was already punishment enough.


Random troll/tech chick that Zaiger dated off-and-on for a while, in the only Zaiger relationship story that isn't funny thanks to the girl being a drug addict.

What does make this story funny is that when she came to her senses and finally dumped this loser, who according to her has been sleeping on her couch under a literal mountain of empty beer cans, Zaiger responded by writing a butthurt article about her which he spammed with her nudes, posted them on revenge porn sites and used official ED social media accounts to advertise that, then started leaving her multiple death threats on her answering machine in his Kermit the frog voice, while simultaneously begging her to get back together with him. We have obtained the voicemails and have added them to the article for your listening pleasure.

Audio Summary
File:Zaiger - Pleaaaaaaaase.mp3
Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please call me back
File:Zaiger - Answer me.mp3
Please pick up the phone or I am going to make your life worse, you fucking WHORE
File:Please please please.mp3
Please please please please please please please please please please just talk to me
File:I have your dad's number.mp3
Please call me or imma gonna call your work
File:Call me Back.mp3
Please call me back, you have to call me back

It's unclear what she then threatened him with, but the article was hastily deleted by Zaiger and scrubbed from the site's archive. Soon after, the girl was forced to issue a restraining order against him to make him finally fuck off. In spite of this, Zaiger still regularly calls her to beg her for money or complain about his current girlfriend, who he hates. And as soon as the restraining order expired, Zaiger was back to doing this:

Just to clarify how much of a fuckup he is, it's worth noting that, at one point, she almost managed to get actual sponsors for the site, only for Zaiger to fuck it up by acting like an edgy teenager when she asked him to talk to the sponsors on skype and close the deal.

Unnamed Korean crack whore

At some point between his previous girlfriend and his current one, Zaiger divulged to a staff member that he's dating an aging, meth addicted, Korean hooker who he knows is only dating him to get drug money and who he thinks is so stupid she's bordering on retardation. So retarded even a retard can spot it.


Mandi handing out nudez to the boyz. #CouchCrew2k15

Zaiger's current girlfriend is Mandi "The vagoose is loose" Brown. A barely legal, emotionally damaged camwhore who's known to ED for having flirted and sent nudes to half its userbase and has slept with every person in her neighborhood (this is not an exaggeration), regardless of age, race, sex, or mental state. That last part is not a joke, since Mandi is known for befriending and dating the mentally retarded (including Zaiger) on numerous occasions. Her most recent relationship before Zaiger was a Walmart employee in his fifties, who she almost married. Before that she was dating a coke-addled tranny, who supposedly was better equipped than Brian.

According to rumors, Zaiger confided in his previous girlfriend that he secretly hates his current one.

Brian and Mandi are now a meme on the ED facebook group.

She's dead lol.

Mandi's Nudes About missing Pics
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Assorted pseudo Internet GFs

One DM from this fat, ugly whore was enough for Zaiger to remove someones article (and she married)

In the last few months of his rule, Zaiger began creepily flirting with random chicks from the Internets and doing things like giving them staff positions on ED in hopes they'll sleep with him and deleting articles for them if he thought he had a shot. This included removing an articles a the about ED Singers, an important part of ED history, Messy Jessy, one of the site's biggest lolcows ever, after cybersexing her, DGTrixie, a middle aged forum lolcow, as well as an article about a known YouTube pedophile that he removed because he was asked to by a morbidly obese boobie twitch streamer.

Hi so I thought i was pretty nice to you, yes I may have been flirty but whatever I was drunk posting. Either way I thought we were having a good time chatting but you send Chris our chats and block me from your account? That is pretty messed up. Are you trying to embarrass me. I don't understand what is happening. Yes I pobably crossed a line but I was just tryin to be your friend I don't see why would would purposefully try to embrass me. IF it is your page you wanted down all you has to do was ask, I have removed it before there s no need for the chicanery. I honestly was just trying to be your friend and id all you want if your page gone then I will remove it, but I really only wanted to try to be your friend. I don't see why you had to make a joke out of me with chris.. Let me kno if that is what you want.

and please dont shot those chts to anyone else or I will have no motivation to remove your page
I can remove it now but I need you to promise me that you won't show out chats to anyone else. I had just gotten out of a relationship. I have no other female friends and for some reason I thought I could trust you, considering I had nothing to do with your page at all.
yout page isnt even up it is a link to histrioninc personality disorder
i guesss that is what i get for trusting another woman
anyways i apologize
im sorry if i came on strong i was just looking for a friend


Zaiger creeping on crazy, herpes ridden hooker

However, if you don't have tits, you could always get your article removed by paying for it and having Zaiger lie about the reason, as was the case with Onideus and Sexlord who gave him money to do things like remove their articles, put them back up because one of them gets turned on by humiliation, delete them again and make them members of the site's staff.

Zaiger as an Admin

Zaiger negotiating deleting a lolcow's article for money, but only after he temporarily uploads photos to the article first so that the lolcow can masturbate over the humiliation. Literally

After the fall of to GirlVinyl's greed, the site was revived (with little help from Zaiger) and taken over by Ryan Cleary. After his involvement with Lulzsec landed him in prison, Zaiger became the De-facto owner of the site. What followed was half a decade of consistent failure, as Brian continuously mismanaged the site, leading to admin after admin quitting the website because they were sick of watching him steal users' money, talking him down from implementing moronic ideas, babysitting him every time he relapsed into alcoholism and giving him money to keep the website alive every time he spent all the ad revenue and donation money on drugs and booze.

As his alcoholism worsened, Zaiger first stopped showing up on the site altogether for over a year, which was preferable to his state when he did return, because he then began flooding ED with so many ads that it became unusable. As many stopped visiting because of fear of viruses and lack of desire to click away nearly ten porn ads every time they click anything, Zaiger began making up ever more frequent lies as an excuse to e-beg for donations, begging his staff members for money (most of whom knew he he's probably stealing at least part of it but felt sorry for the sad fuck) and deleting articles belonging to lolcows like Onideus (Brian's best friend, seriously) and making them admins on the site in exchange for money, thus plunging the wiki into a 1,000-year reign of autism.

What using the site was like thanks to Zaiger

How Zaiger got our domain jacked

This retard is smarter than Zaiger

At some point in 2014 or something like that, ED's domain was stolen by none other than Daniel Brandt. But how? Has this retard suddenly developed actual hacking skills? NOPE! It turns out that Zaiger registered ED under a false name, and couldn't think of any other name to use besides "Daniel Brandt", a guy who's been trying to take down the site for half a decade at that point. When Brandt noticed this, he simply called up our host and claimed the website for himself.

Zaiger is retarded.

"Anonmgur" - Zaiger's Kiddie Porn Site

Anonmgur was an "anonymous image hosting site" zaiger "created" and featured proudly on ED's header that became a collection of child porn that Zaiger refused to delete.

Z used to talk about how he saved tons of porn he liked that people uploaded. The site was not a treasure trove of hot amateur porn though. Most of the sexual content was CP, creepy clothed pictures of kids, and dick pics. He seemed to be bothered much less about this stuff than everybody else and he strongly resisted taking the site down until several admins threatened to quit over its existence.

It's all speculation, but combined with some other concerning comments he made about younger teen girls, I'm suspicious about his intentions for trying to keep the site up and I suspect other people share my concern.

The worse part is that if he wasn't interested in the kid pics, most of the adult pictures seemed to be related to human trafficking victims.



Zaiger created anonmgur from source code that was released under the GPL by vaska94. Zaiger promptly removed all attribution to vaska94 in the source code and solely attributed the code to himself. I only know this because Zaiger forgot to delete the readme file which had the original link to the source. Doh.

I have all the original content of anonmgur, I haven't looked at it, nor want to look at it, but Zaiger asked me to restore it on a new server, and he was...proud of the content, and was like "There's a ton of awesome porn in there."


Eventually he agreed to get rid of it when half the staff threatened to quit. However, at least 2 more attempts were made to revive it, at least one of which was made by Zaiger (probably both). Even at this point most of us were ready to dismiss allegations of being a kiddie diddler, but as we were scrubbing any mention of him from the site, we came across several articles where Zaiger is covertly being accused of liking kids in edits that were holdovers from, as well as one where he's quoted admitting he likes Jailbait.

Testimonials from satisfied staff members

I started drafting a list but I really don't think it's necessary to air every piece of dirty laundry.

The TL;DR is he wasn't managing his assets or his team properly. He has virtually no technical knowledge, which lead to other problems. If he was actually around, he was dangerously drunk at all times. He gave privs to unproven people who treated the production equipment like a classroom lab, breaking things in the process. He approved ridiculous work to be done that got the domain on a spam blacklist and exposed the userbase email list. There was drama regarding anonmgur which almost lead to several admins quitting.

That's only the tip of the iceberg.

The point is he didn't know what he was doing. When he made decisions they were dangerously ill-informed. He was deeply unreliable because of being blackout drunk every day, even first thing in the morning. And he disappeared constantly because he had to go to detox every time he ran out of booze money.



Everything ILJ said is 100% true. What I will add is that he did some very profound history revisionism when it came to Edgeworth leaving the site. Zaiger is a lot more at fault than E ever was, and E made every attempt in the world to provide his technically incompetent ass with a server that can run itself (which Z still managed to fail at on step 1). He also hacked into E's abandoned twitter account using the .se email that he now owned, and more recently his facebook account which amazed me because after 4 years he's still holding a grudge for someone who wouldn't babysit "his" website.

Zaiger owed him a truckload of money over the site and was making ridiculous demands like "You need to work on the site at least 15 hours a week." E said fuck you and quit. Shortly after he quit, Zaiger lapsed on the server payments and the site went down for like 2 months and all the data was lost. This is when VX started his short-lived .nu fork. There was also a massive fundraiser that coincided with this event, begging for money to hire a new sysadmin. After some time passed, E came back and restored the site from backup and provided Zaiger with a low maintenance, cheap server to run. Zaiger couldn't run it so he found Sibin to do it instead. For the next four years Zaiger would tell anyone who listened that E tried to destroy the site and he was a horrible person who just up and left with the server keys. Zaiger had the keys the entire time he just couldn't figure out how to open the door.



A few months ago he offered to make me an admin and I straight up told him "No" because someone with no technical skills shouldn't be an admin.



Zaiger gets sued on ED's behalf

This guy tricked Zaiger into putting himself into $100k of debt with a fake lawsuit
Screencap of Zaiger talking to the guy taking over the site. There is over 6 months and 20 pages of this and it is all just as sickening and pathetic

In late 2017 Zaiger was sued by a serial scam artist and possible pedophile because of his ED article. A funding campaign was set up for Zaiger to hire a highly overpriced lawyer to fight a lawsuit that a dog bite attorney could have easily had dismissed. After racking up nearly $80,000 in debt, Zaiger was exposed as the thieving Jew that he is and all attempts by site members switched from trying to raise money for him to actively keeping people from donating to him and distancing his name from the site.

The lawsuit could have been avoided though. Early 2017 ED got a really serious DMCA from a lawyer who mentioned that he will sue Zaiger by name.

S - You need to check this DMCA. Guy wants a shitty article named Monsaratt removed, or he'll sue. He's mentioning you by name and state

Z - It's just empty threats, don't remove anything. I'll handle it


Zaiger handled it so well, that he got sued for $750,000 and he barely avoided having to give away all ED domains and servers. Again, Zaiger is retarded.

Which leads us to our conclusion...

Zaiger tries to sell ED for meth money and gets kicked out

I fucking hate my life. I hate Serbians. I hate my family and I hate the INTERNETS


Zaiger's only ally abandons him

After driving away most of the technically competent staff members in 2014, Zaiger was forced to hire a random Siberian hacker to run his site for him. For a couple of years all was well (if you can call infecting every visitor with computer viruses "well"), but after Zaiger stopped paying for hosting and other services ED needs to survive, the Siberian moved all the servers to a secret location and removed all of his user privileges after realizing he was planning to pull an Ohi and sell the user's data and then the site itself, leaving him as the site's owner in name alone. However, since this was not enough to prevent him from making the site actively worse, he then took all of the virus-ridden ads and e-begging links off of the website, leading Zaiger to make ever more desperate posts on social media, begging for money "to help ED," which was actually used for alcohol and keeping himself from being kicked out of his "apartment".

Zaiger spent his final days as "admin" of this website, going from user to user and privately begging them for money, while using the account of another disgraced admin he had the password to to preform admin duties so that he doesn't have to admit he isn't the owner of his own site anymore. After this, he recruited a disgraced army vet who seems to be mentally disabled to help him create a mirror of ED and declare that this is the "real" ED (something he should have known wouldn't work, since he's laughed in the faces of other people that tried to do the exact same thing at least five times) and that we should all move there because the mean sysops stole his site.

However, when everyone aware of what's really been going on told the rest of the community that Zaiger has been stealing their money for years, everyone laughed at him and admitted they always hated the poor loser. In the end, his site only lasted for about two days and its only members were Zaiger, the disgraced army vet who abandoned Zaiger when he realized what was going on and now works for us, and Onideus who, without Zaiger's protection, was finally banned from the site and moved to Zaiger's site (this being his THIRD attempt to get revenge on ED by creating his own version of it), only to then return when the site went down and be banned one final time.

As his last, pathetic attempts to fight back, Zaiger refuses to give us back ED's social media accounts (much like Sherrod refused to give back some of ED images) and got into the admin account of the aforementioned disgraced admin who gave him his password to try and delete EDF2 after someone posted a Video of Zaiger's GF sucking big, black cock. A stunt that only managed to delete the last six months, and thereby the active voting thread for that year's EDF2 Faggot Of The Year Award, where it was being hotly discussed whether or not Zaiger qualifies, since his faggotry only occurred at the start of the new year. Having turned back time by six months, it was unanimously decided that now he does qualify and is the undisputed winner. Beating out William Atchison, a site admin who recently shot up a school and lost a fight to a couch, in levels of faggotry.


We are currently prying our social media accounts out of his greedy hands one by one.

Zaiger's tale gets told on The Dick Show

By pure coincidence, one of ED's admins made a shitty video trashing Maddox and was invited to The Dick Show podcast by Dick Masterson. This was intended to be used to promote Zaiger's legal fund, but thankfully, he was exposed just two days before the interview took place. Subsequently, this ED admin instead used the opportunity to tell Dick and his tens of thousands of viewers about what a sad, thieving alcoholic Zaiger is, and encourage anyone watching not to ever give him any money. Laughing at Zaiger's pain proved to be so entertaining that it was uploaded separately as a video to Dick Youtube channel. Enjoy.

Current status

Days after he was ousted, Zaiger was already homeless, can't find a job thanks to his years of unemployment and online history, and begging people on Facebook to PayPal him $20 because he's starving, then spending it on more booze while he squats at local coffee shops for the free Wi-Fi. He now wonders the streets of Salem, MA, saddled with a massive legal debt which was supposed to take down ED, but ended up ridding us of its worse admin, as we made him the lawsuit's patsy and kicked him to the curb.

Days after he was kicked out and sold us back the passwords to the social media accounts we couldn't steal back from him for more booze money (one of the FB group's resident sluts had her sugar daddy pay for it so that no more money goes from our users to Zaiger), Zaiger was picked up by the cops. This could be for one of many reasons. Failing to pay his child support, public intoxication, an outstanding warrant put out on him in Florida for drunk driving, drug use or just a regular homeless roundup. We could pay 50$ do buy his full arrest record and find out... but we don't care.


Zaiger memes are fire, son About missing Pics
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See also

External links

Edftoplogo.png Altedalert.png[]
Edf1logotry2.png EDF1 Faggots

@Faust and Pory
@Moon beam 750
@Negi Springfield

EDF1 Faggotry

@Casual Friday
@DeCadence Comic
@Mod Sass
@Sheneequa Turns Four

EDFlogotry2.png EDF2 Faggots

@Dumblr Feminist
@Michael Horowitz Foster
@Onideus Mad Hatter
@Tom Preston

EDF2 Faggotry

@Bullet to the Head of the NRA
@EDF2 Faggot of the Year award
@George Zimmerman's Big Game Hunter
@The Clown Prince Rises

is part of a series on
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See Also Encyclopedia DramaticaEpic BattleJoseph EversMysteryBotOhInternetSelloutSheneequa Turns Four
Featured article February 4 and February 5, 2018
Preceded by
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Zaiger Succeeded by
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I gave him $200 during this scam period XD. Aw, whatever. He was nice to me in the past, and I no ill will. But, yeah lol - Zew0 (talk) 01:19, 16 February 2018 (EST)