⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️

There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.

Æ Roadmap

  • Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically)
  • Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
  • Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
  • Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
  • .onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
  • CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
  • Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
  • Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)

  • Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.

    If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.

    You can also email me via [email protected]

    Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.

    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot



    Wilkins Coffee

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    Wilkins is wonderful.png



    File:Evil kermit bw.jpg
    The official mascot.

    Wilkins Coffee was the most popular brand of coffee from the beginning of time up until about the 1980s, and for a damn good reason. If you were caught drinking any other brand of coffee, Jim Henson's proto-Kermit would shoot you in the fucking face.

    He literally killed the competition by offing any non-drinker of Wilkins in a myriad of sinister ways, and even televised them in the form of black and white coffee commercials as a way to advertise his unveiled threats. Each commercial came equipped with a corny yet deadly pun.

    Wilkins eventually went out of business due to the countless lawsuits it received from the families of the victims who lost their lives to the blood-thirsty, coffee-crazed Kermit. Kermit was ultimately acquitted of all murder charges and went on to become the star of both Sesame Street and The Muppet Show, and the family members of the deceased had to live with

    "Without Wilkins Coffee, you may wind up with a splitting headache." -Kermit The Frog

    seeing the murderer taunt them on national television for the rest of their mortal lives.

    Substance of Sustenance

    File:The Creation of Wilkins.jpg



    The discovery of the planets. Algebra. Hookers and blow. The Third Reich.

    These are the pinnacles of achievement by man on this earth, but they are like children shitting their pants in the developmental sandbox, when compared to the greatest of achievements by humans to date.

    Of course we are referring to the most addictive substance known to man, the Philosophers Stone and Elixir of Life spoken of by alchemists, the all-sustaining Manna of Moses given to him by God... all synonyms for Wilkins Coffee.

    The Dark Recipe

    File:Worship Wilkins.jpg
    Our lord and savior.

    The beloved coffee company was forced to liquidate its assets due to anti-trust lawsuits, a handful of first degree murder convictions, and the fact that Kermit basically slaughtered all of Wilkins' competition. Accordingly, it is now impossible to purchase this elixir from your local supermarket. But fear not! Listed below are the ingredients and instructions you need to create a makeshift Wilkins for your every waking moment.

    Woe unto thee who resurrect this devil's recipe and the blood-lust it inevitably shall bring.

    "I Don't Drink Wilkins"

    I dont like coffee.gif

    The following events are guaranteed to happen to anyone who dares not to drink Wilkins brand coffee:

    Vote for Wilkins gif.gif

    Fatalities caused by Kermit - At least 76 are known, although there are probably more due to Kermit's untamed lust for murder.

    Commercials

    Gallery

    [Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

    Theme Song

    *14px "Wilkins Instant Coffee" by Dethklok


    Do you folks like coffee?
    Real coffee
    From the frog
    From the Muppets?

    Wilkins instant will wake you
    From a thousand deaths
    A cup blackened blood (dying, dying)
    You'll die without a cup

    Kermit recommends
    He'll stab your fucking ass
    Put you in a cannon (dying, dying)
    You'll die without a cup

    Prepare for ultimate flavor
    Or you'll get fucked up
    And scream, for the cream

    GO

    Wilkins instant
    Wilkins instant
    Wilkins instant

    Coffee

    Fanfics

    The Legend of Wilkins and Wontkins" by Winslow Leach Wilkins Coffee/Fanfic01

    See Also

    External Links

    Portal icon television.gif

    Wilkins Coffee is part of a series on

    Media

    Visit the Media Portal for complete coverage.


    Wilkins Coffee
    is part of a series on
    Food and Drink

    [BleurghOm Nom Nom]