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Æ Roadmap

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    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot



    Where The Dead Go To Die

    From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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    Police.gif THIS MOVIE DEPICTS ANIMATED BESTIALITY AND CP. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED, EVEN FOR THE SHOCK SITE VETS

    Where The Dead Go To Die is a shittastic horror film made entirely in Cinema 4D. The film can be best described as a putrid fucking mash-up of Lassie, Twilight Zone, several "edgy" Adult Swim shows, several drugs, Down's Syndrome video-editing skills, and a cesspool of blood and gore and other controversial shit that makes any other horror film look like Teletubbies.

    With that, you get "Where The Dead Go To Die", the crowning movie of edge and shit made by heavy metal druggie, Jimmy ScreamerClauz (Powerword: James Creamer). This movie simulates what you would see if you really were on drugs, especially with Jimmy admitting he was eating pot cookies during the making of this. This movie makes "Foodfight!"'s animations look amazing and the original "Friday the 13th"'s kills look realistic thanks to Jimmy being a part of the Microsoft hivemind and using a Kinect for his animating work. We're sure Microsoft would totally love the tacked-on endorsement.

    The Stories

    File:Offendedcross.jpg
    This picture practically summarizes the second part of this film.

    This piece has three short stories:

    Jimmy meant for the first part to actually be a comedy and for everyone to LOL at, even though it includes several scenes that contradict it, such as a fetus killing, a dick ripping, and the starring boy screwing Demon Lassie in the bum in an act of gay bestiality child porn in order to bring his dead parents back (spoilers, it doesn't, Jimmy-boy only put it in for the lulz), which would make this movie illegal to own in 236 countries. What, your movies don't have that kind of razor sharp edge? These scenes were likely made in order to get on ED's Offended page, even though the entire movie can qualify if it isn't boring you to shit by the end by expecting a dimension-traveling helltrip in every part, which it does.


       
     
    Get @screamerclauz's Where the Dead go to Die. It scares off ghosts, demons, burglars and Mormons.
     

     
     

    —Diamanda's seal of approval.

    Characters

    • Labby: A demon Lassie knockoff that leads the three starring children through Willy Wonka's Ride of Hell if you took ScreamerClauz-brand LSD cookies.
    • Tommy: The leading boy in the first short, gets led on that his baby fetus bro is going to go evil from mommy's milk, and fucks the Lassie ripoff to try and bring his dead parents back. It fails, and he now has to live with the shame of his first being a mangy dog and now likely having canine AIDS.
    • Ralph: The main character in the third part of the movie, with a Siamese twin on the side of his head, so he wears a mask to hide it and the rest of his Freddy Kruger face.
    • Sophia: The girl in the third part that is supposedly Ralph's future girlfriend. The focus of her dad's CP trading ring, who unsurprisingly dies and the two kids live happily WTF after.
    • The Man: The nameless main character in the second chapter who steals memories from others he kills in a church, including a hooker, and injects them in himself to learn more about them, and to use them to edit his own memories with them for the Shadow Men that he apparently works for. Spoilers, he also dies.
    • Shadow Men: The 2D-looking invaders under your bed to kill you and your wife while you have sex. They're EVERYWHERE in this movie.

    Everyone else, like the kids' parents, the hooker, a legless war vet, the smiley-emoji faced things, etc. aren't worth mentioning cause they either die several minutes after they appear on screen or are just there to try to scare you for 2 minutes.

    Reviewer Victims it has Claimed

    See Also

    Links


    Template:Movies

    I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...
    Where The Dead Go To Die is part of a series on
    GOTH
    [Grow up and quit whiningEmbrace your inner darkness]
    I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...

    Perverts

    Don HenrieJerry from Doomsday Refreshment CommitteeJonathon The InhalerLustiferaMichelle BelangerRyle Garamonde

    Pussies

    Brittany HolechkoDimmuborgiressIckeriss69KurtBatzLarathenMatt CrimminsMissHannahMinxMsUmlautNeil GaimanNickolausPaulie CalafioreSinnSophie LancasterSuccubbusTrent Reznor

    Psychos

    GothzillaHouse KheperuJeff WeiseJasmine RichardsonKimveer GillLindsay Kantha SouvannarathMemoryandDreamPink SpiderSephirothslaveSebastian BosseTodd Hoyt

    Posers

    Dani FilthEx-RayeFesazukichanJack SpicerJetTheeReaperPaganDeathKnightTooDamnFilthyVoodoo devil dollYouZeriara

    Places

    BasementsColumbineDeadJournalGoth macrosHot TopicRichland Collegiate High SchoolVampire Community Message BoardVampire FreaksVampire PosersVampire Shitty

    Pastimes

    Aiding the Dark Lord in BattleAngstBeing EdgyCuttingDrugsGuroHomosexualityNeil Gaiman's SandmanNecrophiliaNot having friendsMurderMy ImmortalPoetryRuining the InternetSchool ShootingSuicideThe Nightmare Before ChristmasVampirismWhere The Dead Go To Die

    Noise

    Anal CuntThe CureDoomsday Refreshment CommitteeDr. SteelDream TheaterEmilie AutumnKoRnLinkin ParkNINthe Sisters of MercySlipknotTool