United States of Australia/Advance Australia Fair, Not Yellow

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<United States of Australia
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(Advance Australia Fair: the official national anthem of Australia.)

The national anthem of Ausfalia, as it is better known, the blatant plagiarism of the United States national anthem, is a failureiffic anthem sung before such notable Australian sporting events as the Sydney Race Riots. First performed in 1878, it beat out other, infinitely less fail songs such as "Waltzing Matilda" by Banjo Patterson, to become the national anthem of Ausfailia.

Australians all let us rejoice,
For we are young and free;
We've golden soil and wealth for toil,
Our home is girt by sea;
Our land abounds in Nature's gifts
Of beauty rich and rare;
In history's page, let every stage
Advance Australia fair!
In joyful strains then let us sing,
"Advance Australia fair!"

When gallant Cook from Albion sail'd,
To trace wide oceans o'er,
True British courage bore him on,
Till he landed on our shore.
Then here he raised Old England's flag,
The standard of the brave;
With all her faults we love her still,
"Brittannia rules the wave!"
In joyful strains then let us sing
"Advance Australia fair!"

Beneath our radiant southern Cross,
We'll toil with hearts and hands;
To make this Commonwealth of ours
Renowned of all the lands;
For those who've come across the seas
We've boundless plains to share;
With courage let us all combine
To advance Australia fair.
In joyful strains then let us sing
"Advance Australia fair!"

While other nations of the globe
Behold us from afar,
We'll rise to high renown and shine
Like our glorious southern star;
From England, Scotia, Erin's Isle,
Who come our lot to share,
Let all combine with heart and hand
To advance Australia fair!
In joyful strains then let us sing
"Advance Australia fair!"

Shou'd foreign foe e'er sight our coast, Or dare a foot to land,
We'll rouse to arms like sires of yore
To guard our native strand;
Brittannia then shall surely know,
Beyond wide ocean's roll,
Her sons in fair Australia's land
Still keep a British soul.
In joyful strains the let us sing
"Advance Australia fair!"

With Holden Utes and Winfield Blues,
We'll keep our country great;
Fuck the Abo's, take their land,
it's yours and mine now, mate;
Cronulla Riots, bashing wogs,
We don't want Muslims here;
Speak English or GTFO,
"Advance Australia fair!"