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Tyra Banks
Tyra Banks is a semi-famous crazy ass black person, known for when she was a hot supermodel. Sadly time has not been kind to her, she is a fattie who covers it up and is batshit insane. She has been host of not one, but TWO fucking useless shows on television. Basically she is the younger, fatter and more lulzy version of Oprah Winfrey.
As quoted by someone on CrushYiffDestroy, "I don't care if I've got a naked Tyra Banks and her virgin twin sisters on the bed in front of me, if a trip to the hospital with a bleeding asshole is even a remote possibility, you can bet your life I'm gonna keep it in my pants and end the evening with an ice-cold shower."
Contents
The Hot Years
Tyra was forcibly removed from her mother's womb at least 100 years ago, making her old as shit. She was always tall and thin so she was OMG TEASED LIKE ALL THE TIME. It's not, like, her fault she is so beautiful and everyone else is fugly. She attended Catholic School and we only hope she got the shit beaten out of her by the nuns. She moved to France when she was seventeen in order to pursue modeling. Evidently she liked the smell of fermented grapes and B.O. However, the French were impressed by her fierce walk that she got a shitload of jobs...but the only one you pervs care about is Victoria's Secret (ZOMG ASS N TITTIES).
Television and Film (aka Let's Count the Failures)
According to Failpedia, Tyra's first television appearance was on the greatest show ever made, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Some minor roles in film were thrown into her page, the only lulz-worthy one (due to extreme retardation) was "Life Size" with a pre-hot, pre-druggie Lindsay Blohan. However, you can watch her FIERCE acting in her death scene from Halloween: Resurrection below.
America's Next Top Model...
In 2003, Tyra decided that it would be a great idea to start a reality show called "America's Next Top Model" that would shape young ladies into FIERCE supermodels, without any of them making it big outside of the show. It's on the zillionth run, because America loves to watch bitches cry like a fat kid at a Vegan Convention. They explored many interesting and highly innovative topics such as "One Chip or Two?", "How to Monitor Your Food Intake," "Laxatives vs. Fingers Down Throat-What Works Better?," and "How to Look Like a Coked-Out Whore on Purpose." ANTM also showed the world Tyra's exceptional talent to go from black person to white at the drop of a hat, proving that she's a very versatile woman. Here is an ever so awesome clip of Tyra wigging out
TYRA: DA SHOW
Miss Banks wants to be the next Oprah with better boobs, so she started her own fail show that is popular with the niggas and teh gheys. Everyone knows not to fuck with Oprah. Most of her shows tend to defy the wtf factor.
In one episode, Tyra even pretended to go to prison:
Imagine that: a black person in prison. What will they think of next?
Not Halle Berry
Since all black person look alike, it's easy to confuse Tyra with Halle Berry.
| Halle Berry can read. | dumb nigger in jail |
|---|---|
| One of these black person forgot to cover her tits. | |
How do you tell them apart? Who the fuck knows?
Tyra Doesn't Like Pointy
Tyra's Rage
This is what happens when you piss off a black woman with too much self esteem (that would be any black woman). Lazers will be charged and lazers will be fired:
Xtreme Tyra Debates
Apparently supermodels have rabid fans, using all caps and bad grammar to defend their precious idols. Here is what some people have to say:
—Winter, in response to the Tyra show being called rubbish, http://www.topix.net/forum/who/tyra-banks/T1G9C7B5ASC8GGII6 | ||
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, USE A PERIOD WOMAN (moar like don't have a period, amirite?).LOL
—Paige, http://www.topix.net/forum/who/tyra-banks/T1G9C7B5ASC8GGII6 | ||
—Rhoda, in response to Tyra being fat, http://www.topix.net/forum/who/tyra-banks/TLJ5T3G88VRUHPF2E | ||
Tyra Is So Not Asking For It
- Tyrabikini1.jpg
Video Clipz
See Also
External Links
Tyra Banks may be fierce, but this article is crap. You can help by fixing it.
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Tyra Banks is apart of an ongoing series on |
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