Tumbears
Tumbears, or bears on Tumblr, are sources of extreme lulz and HIV. Normally, Tumbears reblog each other's n00dz as well as pictures from guyswithiphones.com in a sort of viral circle jerk. Of course, drama is bound to erupt when any number of homosexuals interact over an extended period of time, and the Tumbear community is no exception. Prepare for body hair longer than head hair. Prepare for gay. Prepare to... man the harpoons.
Contents
Personas
There are several notable Tumbears, all of whom are interchangeable in their general form: unkempt and spherical. Though similar in appearance, their personalities are distinct and often result in the genesis of butthurt, drama, and BAWWWWW.
Noodlesandbeef
Noodlesandbeef is among the most prominent of the Tumbears. He and his boyfriend have a hobby of turning public places into camwhoring sets. Noodlesandbeef, unlike many other Tumbears, actually gives a shit about fitness, and got butthurt when his image was featured by Bear/Not Bear. He is also conducting a survey/social experiment (link) about bears, likely to see how many people fap to his slutty pictures on the daily.
Firecub
Firecub is a soulless bear from Denmark who enjoys posting pictures of himself in a jockstrap, though his waistline prohibits him from really fitting in the thing properly. His hair looks like something Lady Gaga designed, and his physical appearance is typical of a Tumbear, minus the tumbleweed-esque globs of body hair smeared indiscriminately. In other words, a prepubescent Tumbear, if such a thing were to exist. Yes, you are a pedo for fapping.
InnerBear
See cockmongler. Nothing to see here except a redwood forest of penises. DICKS EVERYWHERE.
Honey-Pot
The most important question Honey-Pot brings us to: is he ginger or not? He has red hair, but I don't see any freckles... can't... decide...
Regardless, the emo runs deep in this one's black ursine blood, pouring from his wounded soul. While not a fatty nor a fugly like many of his brethren and stalkers, he bears (no pun intended) the burden of all of their self-esteem issues for an unknown reason. Honey-Pot is known for posting random art and weeaboo stuff from DeviantArt instead of just the pr0ns, making him a favorite of hipster and emo bears everywhere. Another noteworthy aspect of Honey-Pot's Tumblr is that he makes TL;DW videos on the daily in which he talks about nothing, then occasionally breaks down crying. RealJock troll ac2394 and this guy could easily go head to head in an emo showdown, though, unlike ac2394, Honey-Pot seems to have a cerebrum and character despite his pessimism power level of over 9000.
He's also got a case of genital warts, so there's that.
I had Asperger's... but now I don't. LOL WUT
Bear/Not Bear
Bear/Not Bear is a lulzworthy Tumblr of failure, lard, and body hair. The entire premise of this blog is to make fun of Tumbears and their kin by comparing them to what the author of the blog deems "actual bears," which are really roided-out bodybuilders with chest hair photoshopped on. The Tumbear community has gone into a rage about Bear/Not Bear, yet the blog's author seems unfazed and continues to post comparison images for the lulz. The standards between images vary differently, so much so one begins to question whether a person will be deemed a bear one day and not the next.
Lulzy reactions to Bear/NotBear
- Bnbreaction1.jpg
Let the ass-bleed begin!
- Bnbreaction2.jpg
Fuck it... but in which of its folds?
See Also
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Tumbears is part of a series on GAY PORN!
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Tumbears is part of a series on |
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Tumbears is part of a series on Tumblr.
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