⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️

There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.

Æ Roadmap

  • Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically)
  • Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
  • Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
  • Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
  • .onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
  • CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
  • Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
  • Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)

  • Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.

    If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.

    You can also email me via [email protected]

    Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.

    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot



    Troubleshooting

    From Encyclopedia Dramatica
    Jump to navigation Jump to search


    File:Jailsuicide.gif
    Troubleshooting IRL

    When in the course of human events, it becomes abundantly clear that your computer has fucked up royally, is generally not making any sense, is going slower than something that goes really, really slow, telling you about all those silly runtime errors and is generally (Not Responding) a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation of the computer plug from the wall and throw it out the window, letting it fall onto the head of some unsuspecting passerby. Ouch.

    Before you engage in negligent manslaughter or worse, maybe you should take some time to engage in some basic troubleshooting.

    Easy Solutions

    Is your computer running?
    If the answer is yes, you'd better catch it.
    If the answer is no, try turning it on.
    Your computer isn't coming on.
    I fail to understand how this is any of my concern.
    Is your computer plugged in?
    If the answer is yes, please unplug the computer and throw it out the window, letting it fall on the head of some unsuspecting passerby.
    If the answer is no, plug in your computer.
    Is your monitor turned on?
    If the answer is yes, please take a shotgun, load and cock the firearm, aim it at the general direction of the screen and discharge the shell into your screen.
    If the answer is no, press the on/off button.
    You have pressed the on/off button and it still does not work.
    Yeah, what's your point?
    How do you make it work?
    Jesus Christ, don't get so uptight. Okay...
    Have you plugged in the monitor?
    If the answer is yes, turn to page 42.
    If the answer is no, plug in your monitor and press the on/off button.
    You stand in a cave with a great green burdleblatt. You are armed with a sword and nothing else in your inventory. What do you do?
    If the answer is Attack, roll the green die.
    if the answer is Magic, you suck because you have no magic.
    If the answer is Escape, you cannot, due to the fact that you are in a cave.
    If the answer is WTF?, go onto the next question.
    Sorry about that.
    Okay, don't let it happen again.
    Is your monitor plugged up to your computer?
    If the answer is yes, cast "magic missile".
    If the answer is no, plug in your monitor.
    If the answer is GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH IN A HANDBASKET WITH WHORES!, quit your goddamn whining and answer the question.
    Turn on your computer.
    Has it loaded yet?
    If the answer is no, keep waiting.
    Mind if I run and get a snack?
    If the answer is yes, Great! What do you want?
    If the answer is no, Great! What do you want?
    If the answer is Go get a big cup of STFU, watch your mouth. I don't have to do this.
    No, really. What do you want?
    >Hookers and Blow.
    He runs into the kitchen. Minutes later, you hear from the kitchen "I don't see any Hookers and/or blow! How about an energy drink?"
    >Take drink
    The drink is in the kitchen!
    >Goto kitchen
    I don't understand "Goto".
    >Kitchen
    You stand in your kitchen. A horrible stench comes from the sink because you haven't washed dishes in about a month. You have only been living there a week. All the cabinets are open. An energy drink is on the counter.
    >take drink
    You take the drink and return to the computer. Windows still has not loaded.
    >Sip drink.
    The drink was poisoned. You're dead. Not 3 seconds later, I steal your computer. Your score was 2 out of 3. Not bad.
    >Get the strategy guide.

    See Also

    Softwarez series.jpg

    Troubleshooting is part of a series on

    Softwarez

    Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage.