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Æ Roadmap

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    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot



    Tosh.0

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    File:Jokes tosh.0 new r13.jpg
    You can help by spamming the tosh.0 inbox here.
    File:Tosh-brony.jpg
    Tosh speaking on his favorite topic, bestiality.

    Tosh.0 is that guy who created the pedophile website called jailbaitgallery.com.

    If you're attempting to create quality television, there's obviously a lot of room for epic failure and misfires, as evidenced by iCarly and pretty much anything produced by 4Kids. And yet, no matter how pitiful your eventual creation may be, at least it's damn-near impossible to replace Drawn Together, Jeff Dunham (both distributed courtesy of the always-consistent Comedy Central), and other certain standards you couldn't sink to if you tried. Yet, even under these bleak circumstances, Comedy Central manages to strike gold with Tosh.0, a program guilty of attempting to Rape the Internets until there's nothing left but a sad husk filled with cancer, dried semen, and the innumerable newfags it has introduced to the intarwebs(Which it is succeeding at.) This is likely the worst, most annoying, and fagtastic show on television. It is targeted towards testosterone-enriched high school faggots that drink energy drinks, use those retarded fucking "vaping" pens in front of ugly girls to look cool, drive antiquated 20-year-old pick-up trucks that they still felt the need to trick out with rims and bass speakers, and threaten to pick fights with every other little prick that pisses them off (but end up getting their asses kicked and their parents suing). If you watched this and liked it, you should probably hang yourself to stem the spread of faggotry to loved ones.

    The Show

    Meet the new ambassador of the Internet. God help us all.
    File:Tosh afro ninja.jpg
    Afro Ninja cosplay. You can spot Tosh in this get-up at Kawaiicon '12!

    Deep from the asshole of basic cable that is Comedy Central, located somewhere between their endless reruns of South Park and Reno 911, comes Tosh.0: an oh-so-hilarious(in the sense that prison style butt-rape is hilarious) show presented by professional moot impersonator Daniel Tosh. The soon-to-be canceled show humps the leg of the Internet, and sucks dry everything that /b/tards hold dear (instead of honing a practical skill or talent).

    Many accuse the show of being a shameless rip-off of G4's Web Soup. This is inaccurate, as Web Soup in itself is an unfunny spin-off of E!'s The Soup, which was actually remade from the ashes of Talk Soup, a program which in turn was a rip-off of VH1's Web Junk hosted by that annoying white guy from Half-Baked. Taking all these arguments into consideration and anything funny ever, Tosh.0 is pure shit.

    While some hail the show's eponymous host Daniel Tosh as the second coming of Tom Green, in reality he's simply a failed insult comic pedo-douche who constantly falls back on retarded humor usually shared in middle school. This includes, but is not limited to Women-bashing humor in order to hide his inability to come up with original content. Possibly the only amusing part of the show actually happens off-screen, as Tosh participates in "live chats" with viewers over Twitter during the premieres of new episodes. These chats boil down to Tosh brutally mocking anybody stupid enough to watch his show as his own penance for allowing it to air in the first place.


    Mission Statement

       
     
    Blogs, vlogs, tweets and pokes have taken over everyone's lives and it's high time someone takes these new technologies to task. Nothing on the Internet is safe in the hands of comedian Daniel Tosh in COMEDY CENTRAL's new series, "Tosh.0."
     

     
     

    —Comedy Central, unaware of the fact that G4 already tried and failed miserably at this venture.

    Tosh has a disclaimer which states that he didn't invent the Internet; he "just makes fun of it". While anybody with half a brain should be able to figure this out on their own, Tosh realizes that his target audience is lacking even that, and constantly reiterates and repeats this disclaimer in every episode. You know; just in case you forget that he didn't actually invent the internet himself!

    To meet this goal, he repeats the same three stale jokes every episode ("Women are stupid!", "Rednecks are stupid!", and "lol look at her vomit") over old viral videos, which everybody with a YouTube account has already seen at least six fucking years prior. There are also a number of gimmick bits on the show, including a segment where he sees how many obvious observations he can make about a clip in the span of 20 seconds. However, much like the painfully unfunny That Guy With the Glasses segment "5 Second Movies", he takes far longer than the time allotted so he can dispense more hilarious bits of comedy gold before moving on to his next novelty segment.


    Sitting And Smiling

    Benjamin Bennett is a fag who makes an interesting show on YouTube called "Sitting and Smiling" where he live streams himself- do I really have to fucking explain it? It's in the name! He live streams himself sitting and smiling for 4 hours straight. One time he got robbed during the stream, one time he pissed himself, and other times some insects tried to distract him. But they didn't work.

    Tosh.0 tried to get him on the show, but Ben said no. Tosh.0 basically nagged him via email and then Ben snapped, and finally told him that he didn't want to be on his shitty show and not to contact him again. And finally, Tosh.0 got the fucking message.

    File:Benbennettvstosh.0.png
    Seriously, fuck off.


    Web Redemptions

    Perhaps the greatest shame is the program's "Web Redemption" segment, which is awesome in concept but executed so poorly by the show that you end up wishing they didn't even bother trying. Basically, Tosh manages to arrange interviews with the stars of viral videos (Long after they've stopped being funny or relevant), under the agreement that he will give them a "chance at redemption on live television". In other words, he tacks an extra minute onto their 15 minutes of fame, feeding their already inflated egos while simultaneously exploiting them for his own purposes.

    He routinely uses shirtless men during his web redemptions to make his audience think he's making a joke about being gay, when in reality he is just trying to cover up his own faggotry.

    While the idea of finding out what happened to the stars of Web 1.0 looks good on paper, Tosh's horrid interview manner sucks the lulz dry faster than the Afro Ninja fucks up a backflip. It'd be fine if he was insulting like he is during the rest of the show, but for some reason, he feels compelled to patronize these retards, despite their being smart enough to realize that participating means getting to be on TV. The end results are lulzless interview segments, followed by lulzless heavily-scripted skits in which Tosh attempts to upstage the stars while they attempt to redeem themselves.

    Here is a list of old memes which Tosh has revived, only to kill again moments later.




    Tosh on Bronies.
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    Tosh.0 is part of a series on

    Media

    Visit the Media Portal for complete coverage.

    75px Tosh.0 is part of a series on Aspies. [Back to your happy placeSperg out]

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