⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️

There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.

Æ Roadmap

  • Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically)
  • Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
  • Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
  • Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
  • .onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
  • CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
  • Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
  • Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)

  • Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.

    If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.

    You can also email me via [email protected]

    Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.

    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot



    Thoth

    From Encyclopedia Dramatica
    Jump to navigation Jump to search
    File:SongOfMyPeople.jpg
    Thoth in the midst of a "prayformance"

    Thoth is a batshit crazy Black-White Crossbreed who lives in New York with his mom and who has no job. His singular source of income is pity-money (charity) gleaned from jumping around in the tunnel beneath a bridge in Central Park, donning nothing but a Violin and skimpy loincloth in what he calls "prayformances".

    Thoth's Sexuality

       
     
    I do not prefer men or women. All People are beautiful to me
     

     
     

    —Thoth (a man wearing eyeliner and a loincloth) Explains his sexuality

    A Topic of much debate and discussion, Thoth is a self proclaimed bisexual and "lover of all peoples". He spends most of his time working out, and dancing around semi-nude beneath his favorite bridge, in front of women and children, who pay him a few cents in the hopes of making him stfu for a few fucking minutes.

    Apparently, Thoth used to actually have a girlfriend in California in 2001, a snow-white girl who appeared in the self-titled movie about Thoth, which won a token academy award for shittiest and most boring film evar made. But with Thoth having moved away to NYC, his left-behind gf realized what a fucking freak she was dating, and promptly called it off. It is speculated that Thoth's butthurt in the wake of the breakup, and the fact that he doesn't make enough money to buy some cheap anal salve, is part of what encourages his manic ass-shaking and frantic movement, thus precluding his ability to find a real job.

    Thoth's Opera

    File:Thoth.jpg
    "Thoth becomes Caguma, mentor of hero Nular-in."
    File:Ahee.gif
    Thoth's alphabet includes swastikas. the letter "Ahee"

    Entitled, THE HERMA Thoth's self-authored opera, which he performs on a daily basis, is the story of a tribal Hermaphrodite from an imaginary land called Festad. This hermaphrodite falls in love with his/her brother, and then goes on some kind of journey of self-discovery. Thoth created his own language (which he lovingly refers to as "abacadacaba,"), his own alphabet (which includes swastikas), and his own country (complete with a map) which he regularly references in the opera.

    In Thoth's own bizarre description:


       
     
    I, Nular-in, am born during Aramir - the last, plague ridden age of Festad. The clan lord Pansu-ga seeks my death because I am a hermaphrodite and it is augured that he will not be Qar or emperor because of a hermaphrodite. So, he has ordered that all hermaphrodites be killed.

    Pansu-ga is told about my existence and he attempts to kill me. He destroys my desert oasis home, Balo, and murders my father. A Zentar, a flying, dragon-like being, who has been keeping an eye out for me, saves me and my mother from imminent death and carries us out of the desert to safety, hiding us in the crater of the great volcano, Irma.

    Several Silvar, or years later, Irma erupts, and while fleeing, my mother and I are separated. I am adopted by a family of sea people who take me to live with them as a girl in their underwater country, Mene.

    My adopted brother, Tito, and I fall in love, but when he finds out I’m a hermaphrodite, he is horrified and beats me almost to death. Fortunately, my adopted sister, Ami-dor, finds me and nurses me back to consciousness. Once feeling better, I seek advice from the underwater seer, Hu, and she encourages me to leave Mene on the back of Tobi, a giant sea turtle, and seek out a mentor to teach me more about my self.

    I find my mentor in a mountain monastery called Eldar. She is called Caguma and is the being who saved me and my mother's life in the desert a long time ago. For many Silvar, she teaches me the esoteric traditions of Droshi - the ancient monks who built Eldar a long time ago. Upon completion of my studies, Caguma rewards me with three special objects of self-mastery. Unfortunately, she dies before revealing the ultimate mystery: the location of Luva - a great pyramid built by Droshi a long time ago.

    Riding Xosi, the last of the flying horses, I explore the twelve Festad countries to find clues about the whereabouts of Luva. During my travels, I am reunited with my mother and Ami-dor, and revisit the place where my father was killed. Pansu-ga captures and imprisons me, and I discover that it is his ambitious mother who is the mastermind behind his actions.

    To atone for beating me up years ago, Tito, now calling himself Oso, frees me from prison and leads me into the mountainous north, Tenneset, where he shows me a drawing he has discovered on a cave wall during his wanderings. Through my Droshi studies I am able to decipher the drawing as a map showing the location of Luva. It has been hidden in Eldar all along. While returning to Eldar, Oso and I are trapped and surrounded by Pansu-ga, his mother, and their minions. Using the Aramir flower, I hold them at bay, and Oso and I escape. At Eldar I raise Luva with the Droshi phrase: ABACADACABA.

    News of the raising of Luva crosses Festad and people make the pilgrimage from all over to witness it. In Luva I dance and chant, and the pyramid vibrates and spins, destroying my enemies and the decaying Festad.

    A new world comes into existence....
     


     
     

    The Herma

    The Documentary

    <video type="youtube" id="vGVGwpxg7yA&autoplay=1" width="700" height="500" frame="true" position="center"/>

    Links

    [Close them downOpen the records]
    Thoth is part of a series on Cults
    UFO Cults: ScientologyGalactic Federation of LightHeaven's GateRaeliansNibiru
    New-age Faggotry:

    WiccaThe DolmenMooniesPaganismBlack AlchemyFagnosticismPrem RawatVoluntary Human Extinction MovementThothRon Paul

    Raep cults: SatanismManson FamilyMasonsAl Qaeda
    Jesus Cults: Ex-GayWestboro Baptist ChurchMormonismBranch DavidiansPeople's TempleChick Tracts
    Wannabe Cults: SephyismSonic CulTVampiresGothsFurriesMulderiteWooksBroniesLibertariansFeminismSJWs
    Stupid Cults: ScientologyAtheismBreatharianMichelle Belanger/House KheperuSonic PassionHighgate Vampire, the
    Troll Cults: AnonymousCult of the Dead CowRaptor JesusJohn SolomonChurch of the SubGeniusDiscordianism
    Web 2.0 Cults: Atheist Scum UnitedRational Response SquadWikipediaYoung Tubers UnitedRationalWikiKony 2012Kiwi Farms
    Portal icon television.gif

    Thoth is part of a series on

    Media

    Visit the Media Portal for complete coverage.