There are no niggers on the Internet
|This article is entirely factual. Hewlett-Packard has provided empirical evidence that there are no niggers on the internet!|
Just like there are no girls on the internet, it is common knowledge that there are also no niggers on the internet with the exception of twitter -where they are the ethnic majority- and all those 419 Nigerian Email Scams (which are actually from white people).
Whether this is due to the fact that there typically aren't internet connections in cotton fields or whether computers are beyond the average ape, this simple statement has given internet savvy races free reign over treatment of blacks on the tubes. Certain political or social groups revel in that circumstance and create tons of laughably poor-quality web sites where they carry on crazy-assed, one-sided conversations about the evils of niggerdom. Their absence, and hence inability to defend themselves, has made them the center of countless memes, image macros, and hilarious videos.
Proof Supporting The Theory
While it is widely contested as to who really invented the internet it is widely accepted that niggers are 93% poor. Computers cost money and internet connections cost even more money. In some select cities communications providers require extensive credit checks in order to provide citizens with access to their expensive tubes. Seeing that most of the black community lives in densely packed ghettos in all American cities and can barely afford to buy diapers for their plethora of babies, you can start to see the overwhelming odds mounting against the once-believed notion that some ghetto hoodlums could, in fact, afford such luxuries.
—Ulfus, on niggas in vidya games.
Black Goth Theorem
Despite their absence from the interwebs, niggers are still quite popular online.
At Habbo Hotel, there were public pools that nigras weren't allowed in. First, nigras like MLK tried passive non-violence, but they were just thrown out of the pool by racist mods who falsely accused them of blocking. So Malcolm X organized nigras into groups like The Black Panthers and then they went and blocked the pool. This worked better, but the racist mods still kept throwing them out and banning them.
Finally, nigras got together in mass, called for /b/lackup, and did a million man march. After satellite imagery proved there were only 720,410 nigras who participated in the march, Congress passed a law punishing the nigras for being uppity, by banning them from all Denny's restaurants in the US.
A Message to Whitey
Apparently, one day a nigra finally did gain access to the internet. Noone knows how such a thing happened, but experts believe that it was most likely achieved with a $100 laptop. While not looking at pr0n, he took the opportunity to leave us the following message:
—Some guy who doesn't know how to spell "lawyer".
All niggas spend their days eating fried chicken, getting drunk on Colt 45, Olde English, or any other cheap ass Malt Liquor, smoking menthol cigarettes, weed and/or crack cocaine, followed by dog fighting, spittin' beats, and raping white wiminz. That kid who stole your bike when you were 12? A nigger. Because of the prevalence of violence in black society, 9 out of 10 blacks will be gunned down before the age of three.
Also, negroes are weirdly attracted to the color teal. Check it out: menthol cigarette packages are teal, black strippers use teal panties, and most new pro sports franchises pick teal as one of their team colors in order to attract sports-obsessed Negroes.
- Happy Negro
- Nigga Know Technology
- Nigger Manual
- NO NIGGERS
- Sparkling Wiggles
- Sand Niggers
- Sea nigger
- Rice nigger
- Gold Niggers