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    The Satanic Verses of Bhagavad-gita

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    File:Baby Krishna.jpg
    The baby Krishna.
    The grownup Krishna: quite scary!
    File:Salman Rushdie - 12.jpg
    Krishna, after the parody..

    The Satanic Verses of Bhagavad-gita is a factual parody of the Bhagavad-gita, the Hindu Koran. Since India is officially a secular country, Hindus have the right to be offended just as their Muslim brothers do. In light of this reasoning, God sent his younger son, Kedar Joshi (aka Salman Rushdie, Jr.) to deliver those rights to the Hindus.

    The parody

     
     
    Krishna, who is Allah in the Bhagavad Gita, is the Lord of yoga.
     

     

    —The Bhagavad-gita


       
     
    Krishna is not in the least a yogi.
     

     
     

    —The Satanic Verses of Bhagavad-gita (The Parody)

     
     
    Krishna is God.
     

     

    —The Bhagavad-gita


       
     
    Krishna is Evil.
     

     
     

    —The Parody

     
     
    Krishna is good, a messiah.
     

     

    —The Bhagavad-gita


       
     
    Krishna is a terrorist.
     

     
     

    —The Parody

    tl;dr

    The Satanic Verses of Bhagavad-gita

    Kedar Joshi

    Abstract

    This work mainly presents a hardcore moral criticism of the Bhagavad-gita, the criticism that the Gita in fact implies that

    1. Krishna—the preacher of yoga—is not in the least a yogi himself,
    2. Krishna alone is satanic (or evil), and
    3. Krishna—for reasons other than the ones for which he is considered evil—is nothing short of a terrorist and the Gita is Hindu terrorism.

    And, as a matter of necessity, it attempts to systematically dig into the Gita's metaphysical foundations, further examining the gravity of each criticism through monistic and dualistic metaphysical interpretations (or perspectives).

    Finally, as a matter of example, it also cites some of the verses of the Quran that appear similar in meaning to the Gita’s satanic verses, thereby drawing parallels between the two seemingly antithetical religious texts. The work thus points out that although the Gita may not seem to be as directly and explicitly terroristic as the Quran, terrorism—the one against unbelievers, for instance—is equally inherent in the Gita and the Gita can be fairly interpreted as a book of terrorism.

    Suggested Citation

    Kedar Joshi. "The Satanic Verses of Bhagavad-gita" 2005


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