The Death and Return of ED

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Official poster for The Death and Return of ED

A Tale of Incompetence, Wonder, and Dead Strippers

Once upon a time in the beautiful year of 2014 there was a man named Conrad Allen Rockenhaus who had the big boy dream of owning Encyclopedia Dramatica. This dream went along to promptly die when he tried blackmailing his former employer who caught him red handed faster than a kid reaching for a cookie jar.

According to top secret unsealed court documents soon after Conrad was fired from his IT job he had a brilliant idea.


   
 
“What if I crash my old company's servers from my old employee account then offer to help them fix it for a substantial sum of money? I'm a genius!”
 

 
 

—Conrad Rockenhaus Probably

This idea went about as well as you probably expected.

Rockenhaus is currently being buttfuddled in a federal prison and is strapped with a $25,000 bond while being tried for “Intentional Damage to a Protected Computer”. If you or a loved one would like to personally congratulate Rockenhaus on his incredible and non impaired decision making skills, he can be lovingly reached via the information below.

  • Name: Conrad Rockenhaus
  • Register Number: 39400-480
  • SSN: 571-95-1923
  • Age: 38
  • Race: White
  • Sex: Male
  • Release Date: UNKNOWN
  • Located at: Federal Transfer Center, 7410 S MacArthur Blvd, Oklahoma City, OK 73169

tl;dr ED died because this faggot took all the server and account keys with him knowing he’d get imprisoned soon after he took them which means, we’ve had to rebuild from scratch (again) but have somehow managed to recover most of the data.

So Who's In Charge?

For the full list of current Æmbassadors, Buræucrats & Moderators you may turn your unwanted attention here

Rules Going Forward

An updated rules page can also be found around here somewhere but we both know you’re too lazy to click any links so let me just spell it out for you:

Rule 1: ED is NotYourPersonalArmy. No attack articles or attack stubs (writing a little bit and expecting the admins to finish for you). Content shouldn’t be personal, because nobody cares about your squabbles except you.

Rule 2: All doxing (except faildox) is allowed. This includes but is not limited to the following: Name, Address, SSN, Birth records, Criminal history, and others.

Rule 3: Illegal data such as CP or Revenge porn are not permitted and will be removed immediately.

Rule 4: You are ultimately responsible for the content you write or what you post. We will not protect you.

Rule 5: Asking for your article to be taken down will only make us want to add more to it.

These rules are subject to change and by continued use of this site you agree to all of the above blah blah blah.

The Future of Encyclopedia Dramatica

We have many VERY EXCITING plans and heavily autistic campaigns for the ongoing contribution of drama and bad intentions.

Rebuilding ED was done entirely out of pocket which includes cost of incorporation, server fees, re-development and z̶a̶i̶g̶e̶r̶s̶ ̶e̶x̶p̶e̶n̶s̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶o̶i̶n̶ ̶h̶a̶b̶i̶t̶ future plans to make ED great again.

This includes such wonderful revolutionary ideas such as:

  • Actually paying top contributors
  • A dark theme
  • Rebuilding the forum from scratch because it was nuked
  • An anonymized VPN service that doesn't require trust
  • And other things that you didn’t even know you wanted

If you think back to when you first discovered ED and find yourself remembering what drew you here in the first place, looking forward to our goal is a future where you can feel that again. If you, like us, feel that while the history of ED has been filled in equal measure with delicious drama and poor management you’ll feel comforted knowing that it’s currently being rebuilt by people who genuinely want to make sure it’s the best it can be and contribute any way you can to help make that a reality.

You’re free to donate any amount, however at these tiers you can unlock additional features:

Rætard - $199

  • Vanity "Rætard" Wiki role
  • Forum "ælite" flair
  • ED vanity email that forwards to any address you want ([email protected])
  • ED subdomain linked to any page you want (Ex: bitchtits.encyclopediadramatica.wiki redirects to https://www.adl.org/)

I’m gæy - $49

  • Vanity "I’m gæy" Wiki role
  • Forum "Donætor" badge flair
  • ED vanity email that forwards to any address you want ([email protected])
  • ED subdomain linked to any page you want (Ex: bitchtits.encyclopediadramatica.wiki redirects to https://www.adl.org/)

Newfæg - $15.99

  • Vanity "Newfæg" Wiki role
  • Forum "Donætor" badge flair


Send Bitcoin to 138r9QPgXPVGR92wAw2Jyn1aTGLY7kX6pv and then email [email protected] with your transaction ID.

You may also find that Instacoins works well for purchasing BTC with a debit card.

SPEAKING OF STRIPPERS

We would like to inform everybody that Zaiger’s stripper ex-girlfriend Mandi Brown recently died at the bright young age of 24 in an accident that was in no way drug related.

Her remains were cremated on January 23rd and her heritage will be succeeded by absolutely no one. At least now she’s finally lost all that extra weight.

If you have any gentle messages of consolidation you would like to send Zaiger during this very troubling time you may reach him at his phone number or email address below.

Please enjoy the rest of your day and we hope that you continue your absolute support for our beloved Encyclopædia Dramatica as you stay tuned for the lulz to come.

LOL BONUS CONTENT

Brian, very obviously not appreciating rule number five.


Anotheraetan.jpg
The Death and Return of ED
is part of a series on


The History of Encyclopedia Dramatica

[Seal ThemOpen the Records]

Events:
In Chronological Order

In the BeginningAttempted coup of the wikiRFJason CL ExperimentMay 2007Dancing sandwich warED turns 5Creation of the ED MascotED sued by Australian Human Rights CommissionsAustralian Media interviewSheneequa Turns FourGirlvinyl deletes "Niggers"DeHippo replaces ED with KYM cloneOperation RestorationNew ED founder v& ◆ We change domains over 9000 times for various, hilarious reasons ◆ EDF2 game on the newsED turns 10Thousand Year Bore

During the Great Reign of ED:
Includes Timelines

200520062007200820092010201120122013201420152016201720202021

Other Notable Years:

1980s1990s2000s2010sY2KFuture2001200220032004

See Also:

ED GovernmentEncyclopedia Dramatica in the NewsDisgraced, Missing and Dead DramaticansTaking down EDDramatica Online