⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️

There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.

Æ Roadmap

  • Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically)
  • Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
  • Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
  • Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
  • .onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
  • CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
  • Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
  • Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)

  • Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.

    If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.

    You can also email me via [email protected]

    Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.

    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot



    Tetris

    From Encyclopedia Dramatica
    Jump to navigation Jump to search
    File:Tetristowers.gif
    Let's play some Tetris, motherfucker!

    Tetris is a simple game developed by communists in which the player arranges blocks with the goal of scoring points. Unlike similar IRL games played by infants, it is absolutely pointless.


    How to play

    File:Tetris.jpg
    At least he has an excuse.

    Spin the blocks to form horizontal lines, dumbass.

    Also, in some of the newer versions, keep spinning the block forever so it will never touch down. Execute this maneuver effectively to spend your entire life playing this stupid game.

    Tetris as a threat to your capitalist society

    As you may or may not have noticed, Tetris is Russian. Furthermore, we all know that Russians are all actually communists trying to take over the world. Tetris was clearly part of the commie Russian plot to screw the minds of decadent westerners. In the game, the only way to move forward, is to form single rows. Which implies that everything has to be evenly distributed. AN OBVIOUS COMMUNISTIC BRAINWASHING TECHNIQUE.

    Versions

    File:Tetrisboxart.jpg
    Another Soviet Challenge, along with the Cuban Missle Crisis.

    Tetris for Computer

    The one that started it all. It was crapped out over a session of Twinkies and meth by Russian supernerd Alexei Pajitnov. Russia didn't recognize the Berne Copyright Convention at the time, so Kapitalist Korporations quickly seized upon its addictive quality, stole it and marketed it to dumbfucks as a kind of "brain game".

    Tetris has been gangraped by more publishers on more systems than any game in history . Here are some of the more notable violations:

    Ræp

    Atari Tetris

    Atari was the first Kapitalist Korporation to recognize the potential of stealing Tetris and stuck it in arcades all over the world. Atari Tetris was followed by Tetris for every 8-bit machine.

    Tetris for Unix/X-Windows

    A generation of CS 101 PhD candidates wasted enough energy on the Unix version to power Jew York City for at least a year.

    Tetris for Nintendo Famicon

    This was published by Nintendo and sucked balls. More interesting than the game itself was the drama IRL between Nintendo and Tengen, which determined who would get the chance to piss all over the stolen Tetris franchise. Tengen released their own version, but copies are rare and costs seventyleven kabillion dollars.

    Tetris for Nintendo Game Boy

    File:Tetrisyaoi.jpg
    Not even Tetris can resist Rule 34.

    Tetris for Game Boy was all that and a pack of smokes. It made Game Boy a household name on the level of shower curtain mildew and Magic Johnson's AIDS. However, it only sold a few copies worldwide.

    Tetris Attack

    Once upon a time, Nintendo made a variant puzzle game that had no chance of selling on its own merits, so they crammed Yoshi into it and called it Tetris. Totally uncool, Nintendo. This became more obvious when they later re-released the game as Pokemon Puzzle League, crammed to the gills with Mudkips. Like the only good episode of the TV show, this game can cause multiple seizures.

    Tetris the Grand Master

    A screenshot of the unreleased Tetris Extreme.

    The latest iterations at arcades, insanely fast to drive the serious gamer into serious road rage. Play at your own risk. The publishers had the gall to stop independent versions after all the royalty-free millions made off Tetris. If you have a DS, you might still be able to track one down.

    GTFO

    Tetris Hell

    Theme music

    The theme music owns too. There is a video of some dude playing it on piano YouTube Favicon.png here

    There is also a ska rendition by some niggers and a metal rendition by some effeminate and pasty metal musicians.

    How to Play the Tetris Theme on the Piano

    Human Tetris

    Victims

    Victim on Youtube

    People whom Tetris plays

    People who Play Tetris

    Gallery

    See also

    Template:Nintendo

    Portal games.png

    Tetris is part of a series on

    Gaming

    Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.