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THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ.
BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.
You know the type. She does whatever she wants in the name of creativity, she sits and ponders the beauty of a new set of dreadlocks, her clothes are covered in paint that she wears like a badge of honor to her femininity, her vulva exudes dark mystery from the hardy bush that enshrines it, and she’s an EMPOWERED WOMAN who literally SINGS with the positive energy she discharges into the sun-dappled, crisp blue air of each and every brilliant new day. For Suzi Blu, every day is a brilliant new day and that is because she hypocritically reinvents herself constantly to suit each and every botched situation she manufactures for herself. Situations like being a porn star, repeatedly “recovering” from her alcoholism, getting knocked up by some dude and having an abortion, and finally, ripping off her sheeple art student clients. Then, when it is even remotely hinted that she might be wrong or that she might have made a mistake, Suzi Blu does what every other typical wigged out dimbulb on the internet does…she deletes fucking everything.
- 1 Description
- 2 History
- 3 Quirks
- 4 Dox
- 5 Stacy
- 6 Quotes
- 7 Gallery
- 8 Video
- 9 Videos of Suzi Doing Stupid Shit
- 10 See Also
- 11 Links of Interest
—Suzi Blu, a needy sociopath, speaking to her cat.
Suzi Blu is a 42 year old arts and crafts teacher who lives in her parent’s basement in New Jersey. There are several reasons why a grown woman with an education might live in her parent’s basement. These reasons include: financial duress, recent divorce, Trollitous (someone who likes dark damp cave like places, cant stand direct sunlight and is antisocial) or some kind of unforeseen tragedy in her life that might cause her to move in with mommy and daddy. However, none of these reasons are why this hippy-wannabe man hater lives at home. She lives there because she is lazy, clings to a belief that she is somehow artistically gifted, has a large amount of mental instability, and all of her ex-friends are sick of her shit and are not willing to endure living with the mooching slob any longer.
—Former Suzi fan.
How we get to “here” as growing human beings is usually a quite interesting story. Suzi Blu’s journey to “here” is not very interesting, it is a story of repeated failures and disappointments, but it is also a tale of warning, populated with quite a few speed bumps that should be noted by anyone who wishes to take one of her online video classes or even if they just run into her on the street; schizophrenia coupled with sociopathic behavior is never pretty.
Kind of a Lesbian
—Wolves indeed, but only because women like this drive men to kill.
Suzi Blu has an on-again-off-again flirtation with lesbianism. Like many things in her life, each person she meets is greeted with a different Suzi who adapts herself in the best way she can to profit most from the situation. She uses her sexual orientation for profit, and in a cases where beggars like Suzi are concerned, profit can be any number of things be it money, a place to stay, to gain an edge over a competitor, or to just lay ruin to some person she has just met. It doesn’t matter to Suzi, as a sociopath and a liar, she feels no specialness towards lesbians. To her it is just a game of leverage.
—Right. It’s a choice when there is money on the table.
A fan made video describing Suzi's real sexual preference.
—Disgruntled and ripped off ex-student.
In the mid 1990s Suzi was involved in the soft-core porn industry (selling her body for profit…are we seeing a pattern here yet?) and has been very vocal about her experiences in that profession. She has outted herself on her own webpage in an attempt to disarm any future situation that might occur if one of her pissed off customers should discover that she was at one time a stripper and also an actor who was raped by a tree. When a disgruntled student came forward and posted some images from the films on Suzi’s Ning page very quick LOCK, BAN, DELETE action occurred. For some odd reason, nobody was surprised. Suzi answered all of her naysayers about this new development by posting all of her sanitized pictures and explaining that she was out of the industry and had not performed in a porn film since at least 1996.
Then somebody found out she was in a porno flick in 2005. If you so desire, her videos are still available through RapidShare (see below for link) and are on sale at several seedy pay-per-view sites that cater to magical tree rape.
Gallery of Pornography
—Suzi, discussing her pornography and stripping…er no, her artwork.
Watch her take a bath.
I wish I was the one shooting her.
Hugging daddy's leg.
Sunken eyes, pale flesh, the distinct odor of cheap rum cocktails...
Note the air of desperation...and eye bags.
Why isn't this picture in any of her "Playbooks?"
If only that were a real saw.
Yet another title available online...from 2001
Ripping Off Her Roommates
—Another miffed and scammed art student of Suzi’s.
Down and out, Suzi Blu was invited to live in Virginia where she could make a fresh start of her ruin of a life. A friendly, honest, and charitable acquaintance took pity on the aging ex-porn star and decided to allow her to live with her, where the two of them could compose artwork together and live the life of creativity that both desired. To Suzi, this was nothing of the sort. Sure, she could live with this person and do all those creative and imaginative things, but why do all that? It would be easier to just mooch off of another benefactor and lead another well-meaning friend down a path of rage.
—Suzi from one of her several thousand YouTube videos.
The relationship soon soured because to Suzi, not paying for rent, bills, or food was her idea of artistic license. She was free to create whatever she wished (such delights as havoc, misery, and anguish) while somebody else paid for it and she wasn’t going to let silly things like a rental agreement, courtesy, and human decency get in her way. Something must have tipped Suzi off eventually, because several months into this twisted symbiosis, she packed up her shit and stole away in the middle of the night like the cowardly panhandling tramp she is. She even stole her (now) ex-roommate’s dog. WTF? What kind of loser steals another person's dog? Oh the kind that's concerned about leaving a dog with white trash.
Melissa, shocked and confused by the situation, was left a note written by Suzi telling her to keep or sell anything she has left behind, as if her shitty artwork is enough to pay for the food, rent, and utilities that she failed to cough up for. Melissa, distraught also by the theft of her dog, called the police. The police then went after Suzi and relieved her of the dog and returned it to Melissa. Suzi swears that the dog and the artwork that she left behind were stolen by Melissa and her fans and routinely attack Melissa for this…even though she is no longer a part of the community. To Suzi and her pack, Melissa is a mantra. To others, outside the fold, Melissa is a warning for other people who might be fished in by this chameleon of bedlam, moochery, and criminal behaviour. Who knows? Considering the fact that Melissa vandalized Suzi's site, which then led the drama to spread, who's side can you take? She talks like white trash, thinks she's bad ass, filmed her dog eating a toy..., could very well be an attention whore, and treats anything like high school drama. Both of them aren't sane and could very well make shit up but for the dogs sake...let Suzi take care of it.
—(Melissa's reply to people concerned about the dog)…Okay there Melissa...
Melissa keep doing what you do best; holding grudges, posting tons of comments and videos about Suzi, WRITING IN CAPS and acting like an obsessed ex-girlfriend. You're no better than Suzi and you have a bitter pussy, sprinkle sugar on it next time.
Since the events of this article have been detailed, a new incident has occurred concerning Suzi and her old roommate: Suzi has "lawyered up"in an attempt to "get back" some more of the junk she supposedly left in the attic. To pay for her legal fees, Lulu the Stolen dog has made an eBay site and is selling some of Suzi's old junk in an attempt to recoup some of her wasted time. Good luck with that Lulu...I can't see somebody paying good money for her crap.
—The old roommate. By the way, did I mention that there are Suzi Blu pieces still available on eBay?
—Art Class should be about learning. Learning about art, not scams.
Soon after the fiasco with Melissa, Suzi moves in with her parents and takes up residence in their basement. After a bit of contemplation, she decides to make YouTube videos displaying how to make her brand of art. It has often been said that “there is no account for taste,” and in this situation that old adage is quite true. Suzi’s crayon scrawling and doodles strike a chord with fellow feminists and dingbat housewives who have nothing but time on their hands and their husband’s credit card. Soon her video classes start taking off. Suzi creates a Ning network and begins the slow trip to success through internet hucksterism.
During this time, other internet artists see her ridiculous amount of success and a lack of anything to fill all the artistic voids that YouTube is so famous for so they begin to construct their own Nings and their own YouTube instructional videos. One such internet artist (and I use the term artist rather loosely here) named Jared Knight hooks up with Suzi and the two become friends.
—A curious onlooker.
Once Suzi figures out that many might leave her magical and empowering site and spend their magical and empowering dollars on some other artist’s better instructional videos, she puts Jared on her “not friends” list, and then proceeds to remove anything remotely related to any other artist who might wish to advertise instruction from her site, even though she had encouraged it in the past. She also starts banning people who she feels might “imitate her artwork” but this soon devolves into arbitrarily banning anybody who might disagree with her. Speaking out loud of creation, magic, vitality, energy and empowerment aren't so empowering unless you are the one who holds absolute power over your zombie like automatons who robotically sit, stay, and attack at your slightest whim.
In more recent news, Suzi has decided to scam her students into getting her some free advertisement from Somerset Magazine, a two-bit rag that caters to the kind of subhumans that Suzi knows she can bedazzle. Suzi recognizes a meal ticket and knows that she can use the backs of her hard working "girls" as stepping stones to get a job, get a free blurb, or at least get some notoriety for her next round of rip-off classes. She is currently asking her students to take pictures of their dolls they are making (yes, dolls) and to include perhaps a little sentence or two about how great Suzi is.
—Suzi should be teaching class, after all, her drones paid for it.
Suzi and her Vulva
After all of the wreckage and discord of that situation, Suzi moves on to create something else. At first glance, it would appear that she is attempting to create an online magazine called “Vulva” that will be a tongue in cheek feminista manifesto with pastel doodles and scrawls mixed in. She then picks several of her inner circle to moderate and create this online rag and sits back, egging them on from the wings to hurry up and Create! Create! Create! Again, we see this pattern with Suzi. She does no real work herself, unless painting old grocery receipts and fashioning misshapen clay “earth mothers” could be considered work; she prefers to use up her ass kissing friends resources and talent instead of actually working on something herself. Finally the WOMYN POWER ezine is finished and presented to queen Suzi the Libertine for her perusal and acceptance.
The queen is displeased. Suzi Blu doesn’t like what her minions have worked on and presented to her. She then exiles her workers and deletes all of their work. Because she is obviously the only person who really “gets” her, she decides to take up the work herself. Vulva as an online magazine soon titters away into another boring online community called"A Lovely Dream.”
Here, Suzi discusses her Vulva project in a 30 minute bore-fest:
<video type="slutload" id="56tbxtyLaUW" width="540" height="406" desc="Cha Cha Changes..." frame="true" position="center"/>
Summing up all of the proceeding drama, insanity, and bullshit, one might wonder where all of the scatterbrained behavior comes from. Addictive behavior might be an excellent explanation. In an attempt to “open the air” with her pod of twisted fellow snobs, Suzi has come forward to explain that she is a recovering alcoholic. This affliction quite cleverly combines and sums up all of Suzi’s actions and behaviors. Only an addict would allow herself to be raped by a tree or be sold into phony slavery in a cheap porno film for pay unless they were looking for money for their next drink. Only an alcoholic would steal a dog in the middle of the night, regretting it later when the police show up. Only a drunk would be paranoid enough to slam everybody and everything in her online community for perhaps being as competent as she is where creation is concerned. But all of these things, they are what an alcoholic does. An alcoholic, usually in the height of drunkenness and passion, makes incredible blunders and only regrets them when they become sober. Some never become sober long enough to ever regret their misdeeds, living the sociopathic life of chemically induced neurosis, obsession, and denial.
Suzi explains that because of her new energy and creativity that part of her life is passed and she is in recovery…has been so for three years. Is this more sunshine and unicorns from this lying faux-artiste? Some of the people who live near her think not.
—From a blog post located here. Perhaps posted by a neighbor?
—Anonymously posted on that huge blog entry that had 1200 replies.
While one peruses her sites and discovers Suzi, one will find an outrageously large number of quirks that will drive the average person batshit insane. If those quirks aren't enough, the syrupy saccharine nature of her art and her art playshops (she uses that term instead of workshop because she doesn’t like that word) will most assuredly push the reader over the edge, causing nausea, trembling, rage, and eventually death via aneurysm.
For context, please see here.
Suzi baits and switches her paying customers. A prime example of this is when she was to host a very expensive workshop in San Diego. The workshop, touted as being held in a beautiful cottage by the sea (owned by another art workshop teacher who she managed to con) turned out to be nothing more than Suzi’s backyard with no ocean in site. Have fun playing in the sprinklers and eating vegetarian hot dogs off the grill people, you have just been had.
On other occasions, she has banned several of her paying customers for openly disagreeing with her or, for something as simple as describing an alternate method for artistic creation. By doing this, Suzi does not need to produce her art videos while spending the money that hard working people have paid for them.
There have been some rumors of Suzi defrauding disability, but since nothing concrete has come to light at the time of this writing, it will only be mentioned here because it is hurtful and may get some of her drones to put down their happy paint brushes and realize what kind of double-crossing deceiver they are dealing with.
None of this should be surprising to anybody, she has stolen in the past and will steal in the future. What is surprising is that the same people (her retarded followers) will continue to allow her to do so. How empowering!
—sub_evil, switching out his own words and phrases concerning Suzi.
It has been mentioned above that Suzi will switch out words when she finds a word or phrase that she considers ugly or counterproductive. While this may appear to be “cutesy” and frivolous, it should also be remembered that Suzi is a liar and has, in the past, twisted words around like so much barbed wire to strangle her opponents. Also, to a bum like Suzi, words like “work” and “sacrifice” are quickly turned into new words like “play” and “refusal to allow oneself to give in.
—Choni explaining how he would discuss artwork with Suzi.
The majority of Suzi’s online artwork are collages of crap that she calls “Mixed Media.” These amount to no more than several layers of scrap booked trash that she has found floating around the environs of her parents house. She then glues the pile to a book or a poster board and then tries to sell it. Usually some dipshit with a fat wallet, no brains, and a membership to one of her pay sites will pick the garbage up for around thirty dollars.
Mixed Media Gallery
Is it crap? Is it Crayola? Whatever is going on here, fools take classes on how to do this stuff.
Isn't scrapbooking a hobby pursued by middleaged women with nothing better to do? oh wait...
What the hell is this crap? It looks like somebody shat out a pink rainbow of failure.
Bride of Xenu?
Lots of internet drama...wonder who caused it?
Is that white out? Holy shit, she used white out to paint the chicks face.
She has the gall to mention morality.
How is this for mixed media? She even fakes being in a hair-band.
When Suzi isn’t busy stapling pictures of her fucking dog to plywood boards and then covering them with electrical tape, she will mold little dolls that look like they were made out of Pla-Doh. Occaisionally, she will paint these dolls and then talk to them, giving them such names as “Goddess” and “Glitterboy.”
When performing her tutorials that attempt to teach the gluing of rubbish and debris to notebooks, Suzi will “slut up” the process by giving wanton glances at the camera, putting close ups of her braless tits in the screen, and interspersing her artwork with commentary that sounds like it is being delivered by either a 13 year old girl or by a 45 year old prostitute who has smoked Kool cigarettes for the last thirty years. It becomes apparent that this is all an act when a video of Suzi is seen where she is acting like her normal, tired, hung over old self.
The Dread Queen
During the formation and construction of the Vulva online magazine, Suzi got it into her head to make dreadlocks for herself. She then went out and purchased several hundred dollars worth of fake hair and made herself over to look like a white Rastafarian dipshit who had been vomited on by a elf who had eaten too many rainbow cakes. Happy with this outcome, she simply ignored any work or questions concerning the magazine and toyed with the idea of branching out and making videos that would teach boneheaded chicks how to weave crappy looking hunks of colorized hair.
Mentally deficient simpletons will probably shell out ten bucks a video for this tripe and grin happily with dull smugness as they walk down the street with their new neon green and pastel purple hair extensions, not knowing that the majority of humanity views their wrecked coiffure as a sign of unemployment, mental instability, and extra chromosomes.
From time to time, Suzi will post some outlandishly foolish email on one of her 37 blogs. The email will be so contrived and so obviously made up, you will be able to see right through it and understand that yet again, Suzi is doing something forced or strained because she has a soapbox or cross she wished to climb upon so that she can give a sermon.
—Suzi admonishes somebody who is not there.
Things About Suzi That Will Piss You Off
—Suzi, explaining her success to a worried mother.
One might only watch one of her insipid videos or listen to one of her droning podcasts to discover new found rage within seconds, but to forego that trauma, here is a list of stuff you will hear and see should you choose to view or listen to one of Suzi’s media files:
- Buzzwords like: dreams, drive, empowerment, love, respect, freedom, permission, ambition, make it work, glitter, get back on that horse, emergence, forget, morality, and IT’S MY LIFE I AM FREE TO DO WHATEVER I WANT.
- Constantly referring to herself in third person.
- Discussions about her hair-shedding cat.
- Discussions with her hair-shedding cat.
- Jittery and out of focus videos that are meant to instruct.
- Brief diatribes concerning religion, war, politics, tattoos, dust mites, and gasp, men.
- Lengthy diatribes concerning religion, war, politics, tattoos, dust mites, and gasp, men.
- Pictures of her incredibly stupid and rat-like dog.
- The same calliope music clips played ad nauseum to give the viewer an atmosphere of “whimsy.”
- Instructions on how to write down your desires and dreams.
- Several things that will suck the time right out of your life!
- She will speak in an incredibly high voice that will rape your ears like a chainsaw held by a very small, but cute, fairy covered in pink and teal paint. She has been known to call this her dolphin voice. Avoid it at all costs.
- She teaches her paid classes with the use of stuffed animals and finger puppets. Acting out little dramas that have nothing to do with the subject at hand.
- Describing men as wolves constantly.
- Her constant moralizing on every subject.
Pedophilia…or at Least Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor
—Anonymously posted in the comments section of the Ning diatribe against Suzi.
Reverting Possible Vandalism
As predicted, upon the upload of this page to Encyclopedia Dramatica, Suzi was told of its existence and she quickly tried to get rid of anything said about her here on ED's learned and hallowed pages. Unfortunately for Suzi, she ran into Mysterybot, Marukomuru, and That Thing There who quickly realized what kind of dope she is and promptly laid the smackdown. Hey Suzi, its a wiki, you can't pull your shit here!
Since she is banned, she probably won't see this, but on the off chance that she does...or sends one of her queer white knights, make sure you spam her talk page.
What can we predict for the future? Considering the fact that she is a huge drama queen, she won't be able to leave this one alone, expect legal threats, lolyers emails, DMCA's and whatever this dingbat can think of.
DO NOT REMOVE DOX FROM ARTICLES
It is perfectly acceptable to have dox in articles. There is no rule about this anymore. For moar info, please ask a Sysop.
If you knew this already, save us some time and tell your friends.
Suzi occasionally wants to be pen pal sluts with various people she finds around the net. If you happen to be one of the lucky few she chooses, you don't have to wait for her to text you her address, you can just check it out here...
1855 Freda Lane
Cardiff By The Sea
Cell Phone: 732-585-0099
This address is perfect for launching complaints about her shitty services, if you are the unhappy recipient of such trash. If you call and a guy answers, don't worry, that's the guy who actually owns the house, but is never around. Just leave a message for Suzi.
Stacy is one of Suzi’s more impressive brainwashing jobs. Suzi can literally yell “Jump” at her and Stacy will reply “How high?” Actually, it is even more desperate and disturbing than that. Suzi can openly insult Stacy online and Stacy will eat it up like it is chocolate covered vanilla ice cream covered in Suzi’s boogers. She loves the con artist that much.
In one particular example of this sort of extreme carelessness and blindly following Suzi’s directions, Stacy was told to paint her own vagina and then press it to paper to make prints. Briskly and without question, Stacy did this and was met with Suzi’s scorn. Suzi spent several hours heckling, mocking and making fun of Stacy, at one point even telling the woman that her vagina looked like an elephant’s ear.
Stacy didn’t care though, she basked in Suzi’s contempt, exhibiting her own mental instability and managing to look like a retarded puppy in the process.
The first section deals with an epic diatribe posted on a blogspot located here. The second section, denoted in the morphquote, are quotes taken from Suzi herself.
but her sites are literally covered in menstruation blood.
Videos of Suzi Doing Stupid Shit
If you are one of the lucky suckers that subscribes to Suzi's lunatic asylum videos, this is a small sampling of what you actually get when you pay for her outlandishly inferior instruction videos...and yes, you get to pay Suzi to tell you about how her little rat of a dog takes a shit.
Links of Interest
- Suzi's YouTube channel. Please note that her white knights have rated everything a five. Here you can see some of her classes.
- Suzi's Blogtalkradio page. Here you can listen to Suzy complain about cramps, media imagery, barbie dolls, her flabby 42 year old body, and how she "gets over stuff."
- Suzi's ex-roommate's Youtube. Suzi actually moved out on her in the middle of the night to avoid paying the money she owed the roommate.
- A video detailing the sale of some of Suzi's bullshit artwork on Ebay...and how fierce it might get.
- Blog post that used to contain emails of great interest...now deleted to protect the guilty. The comments are priceless.
Suzi Blu is part of a series on
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