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    Steven Universe

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    In 2013, Rebecca Sugar abandoned Adventure Time to pander to the immense cesspit of basement-dwelling feminazis plaguing Tumblr with the anime ripoff that is Steven Universe.

    Steven Universe is a very anime-inspired cartoon, which shouldn't be acceptable for a Western kids show since all anime is invariably pornographic. Like Adventure Time, Steven Universe has no actual over-arcing storyline, only the illusion of one.

    Cartoon Network realized that since they were airing Johnny Test and never-ending Teen Titans Go! reruns two-thirds of the day (The other one-third going to Adult Swim), they REALLY needed something new, ANYTHING new. Rebecca Sugar caught onto the fact that CN now had two brain cells to rub together and suggested a fantasy 2DEEP4U show that attempted to trick otakus into thinking that Western cartoons are any match for anime.

    For all its attempts at being anime no-one ever brings up the obvious. With all his training and running around the universe fighting evil, Steven has yet to lose a pound and remains a fat retard that obsesses about food. In Kenichi: The Mightiest Disciple, the main character Kenichi actually puts on muscle through the anime. If this were the lazy work of Steven Universe, Kenichi would have remained a skinny bitch in every episode. It's called character growth. Quit trying to sell a world to fatties where fatties are capable of walking up more than 2 stairs without having to take a candy break.

    The only reason anyone should watch this dog shit of a cartoon is a guide of how NOT to write a "deep" kids show and interact/pander to a retard fanbase.

    Gems

    File:Pissshitsapphire.gif
    Actual footage from the cartoon.

    "Gems" are an alien race of sentient gemstones (now retconned by Rebecca and Ian) "solar powered robots" ruled by "The Diamond Authority" (White Diamond being the leader and "Mother" of the Diamonds) with gems are to salute the diamonds by making a retarded diamond sign with their arms follow by saying "My Diamond" or some shit like that. Their civilization is as technologically advanced as the average sci-fi federation but as morally advanced as the Nazis. Here are some useful factoids:

    • Quartz and Quartz varieties come from Earth and are supposed to badass but Amethyst was in the ground too long.
    • Pearls are slaves to their Diamond(s)
    • There are 3 eras of gems
      • Era 1 were barely bought up or seen but are said to the alphas.
      • Era 2 being mostly physically retarded due to being made in a hurry thanks to Pink Diamond killing a good chunk of the Era 1 gems for her bitch fit war.
      • Era 3 are whatever. The crew didn't think of what to do with them other than thanks to PussSteven, they'll not allowed to use their weapons(as for the other 2 eras as well).
    • Gems generate an external body to interact with the world.
      • When this body is damaged enough it "poofs" out of existence and has to regenerate from within the Gem.
      • This body can physically change at will through shapeshifting (with limits of course unless you're a Diamond since diamonds are OP).
    • Gems can fuse.
    • Gems are seemingly immortal; they will never fucking die. However, if a Gem smashed into shards those shards lose sapience and can only form body parts.
    • They use to have such a rigid caste system that would make India blush and wet itself.
    • Homeworld planet is cracked in half for some never explain reason.
      • The Diamonds fly around in different robot body parts(WD-head ,YD-right arm ,BD-left arm, PD-pussy ass and legs) that combine, make up a Mecha(just for the sake of having a mecha "reference" in the show).
    • Despite having an intergalactic society thousands of years old, the Gems cannot grasp the concept of sustainable development and thus breed like rabbits, spread around the universe as a plague, and deplete natural resources so that subsequent Gems "born" on older worlds are handicapped and have to use prosthetics.

    The story

    File:SU-PearlJakinit.gif
    Gem mating ritual.

    A long ago some lesbian Dominatrix bitch named Pink Diamond tried to colonize the Earth. She got bored and got a taste for human dick, so she wanted to "save" Earth but the Diamonds told her no. So she pretended to be a Rose Quartz and banded a lesbian SJW ecoterrorists called the "Crystal Gems" to go against her other Diamond dykes "family". Pink Diamond then faked her death by forcing Pearl to do it and she falsely stayed as Rose Quartz and then started a pointless war. They "saved" Earth(and only Earth as being the dumbass that she is, Pink fucked up so hard that she couldn't be bother to try to save Homeworld gems from her Diamond "family"), but Homeworld put a giant philosopher's stone in the Earth's core and The Diamonds also beam to the planet, corrupting all exposed Gems into monsters; so the Crystal Gems spend all their time capturing them (while doing nothing with them due to Pink Diamond would rather bang her human toys than find a way to help the corruption SHE cause with the war). Oh and jumping into each other’s vaginas.

    In the recent past a solo “musician” named "Greg Universe" decided to perform “songs” at a venue in Beach City only to learn that no one listens to his shitty music anymore, or ever did. He did, however, win the alien fuck lottery when Pink Diamond pretended to enjoy his singing and fucked him in the back of his trash filled fan. After some shit happened, Steven faggy Universe was born.

    Despite being a magical alien that could survive just about anything a human could not and being a OP Diamond on top of that, Pink Diamond died giving birth to Steven, probably because his fat ass tore her in half on his way out of her crystal cunt. She knew ahead of time that this would happen but continued the pregnancy anyway - probably because Steven's half-human half-alien properties were part of her master plan to fix her shit for her while she took the easy way out.

    TL;DR

    Pink Diamond fucked everyone over and now her Gary Stu, half diamond/half human son Steven goes on adventures with a bunch of socially awkward dykes to fix her fuck-ups.

    Current Year

    *cough* *cough* Cringe *cough*
    File:Steven Universe is Cancer.png
    Funny enough, they made Steven all this except the "super masculine" part. GG dumbasses
    • The "Monster of the Week" Arc + Lapis. (Season 1A)
      • The CGs and Steven fight a series of Corrupted Gems while occasionally having fee-fees.
      • Fusion is introduce for the first time(though the concept has been done to death) as Opal, the unstable bitch fit fusion of Pearl and Amethyst.
      • Garnet and Amethyst fuse into Sugilite and break a communication hub for hurting television. This becomes relevant later.
      • Steven releases a Lapis Lazuli from a mirror and she takes the ocean, then gives it back and flies off to Homeworld while leaving absolutely no catastrophic damage to the ecosystem.
    • The "World-building" (Season 1B, 1 - 43)
      • Filler
      • The fee-fees get more frequent.
      • Steven and Connie fuse into a 18+ Herm-Aphrodite like body with everyone (even Garnet because she gets a hard on for love type fusions) getting wet for her and some pedo named Kevin hits on her until she unfuses.
      • Garnet reveals that she can see the future, which she uses to beat her meat.
      • Ronaldo tries to murder Lars onscreen and everyone's okay with it because they're both douchebags.
    • The Peridot Arc (Season 1, 44 - 52)
      • An Era-2 An annoying little shit named Peridot is assigned to check on the cluster buried within the Earth's core before it hatches, but the CGs keep interfering. First she tries to fix the Galaxy warp and go there directly but gets paranoid because of a fucking sticker and leaves, then she tries to use the Prime Kindergarten but the CGs destroy its power source. She then brings the Lapis from earlier and a literally perfect Jasper with her on a space-ship to get the job done but guess what.
      • The CGs fuck it all up. Garnet reveals that she is a fusion of two lesbian gems named Ruby and Sapphire and sings how she's made of "love" while kicking Jasper's ass.
      • Peridot takes an escape pod to Canada a field conveniently close to Beach City.
      • Jasper fuses with Lapis into a Malachite but Lapis betrays Jasper and drags their fusion into the sea, allegedly forever until Season 3.
    • More "World-building" (Season 2, 1 - 10)
      • Filler up until episode 6 where the plot develops.
      • Less fee-fees than in the first worldbuilding arc.
      • Connie starts taking sword-fighting lessons from Pearl.
      • Gem Shard Amaglamates are found. Garnet has a panic attack and almost defuse seeing the "dead" forced fuse gems. Garnet then talks to herself about this is how Homeworld sees fusion(this line along with the "Fusion is just a cheap tactic" became a meme somehow).
      • The gems "try" to find Malachite and Peridot(more so Peridot).
      • Steven in his dream is "teleported" inside Malachite's mind where Lapis and Jasper are fighting each other for controller of Malachite.
    • The "Pearl rapes Garnet into fusing twice. Garnet finds out and REEEEE" Week (Season 2, 11 - 15)
      • Peridot fixes the communication hub Sugilite broke earlier and tries to send for rescue with it. Garnet and Pearl fuse into Sardonyx to break it again.
      • Pearl gets thirsty and repeatedly fixes the hub in secret so she can fuse with Garnet again and again.
      • Garnet eventually finds out and disowns Pearl.
      • Garnet defuse and Ruby(taking fusion as serious business) reeee at Sapphire weather they should not forgive Pearl or do.
      • The CGs start their hunt for Peridot and Garnet's salt and Pearl's thirst for forgiveness keeps getting in the way.
      • Garnet and Pearl quickly make up at the end and take Peridot's leg.
    • Peridot's Redemption/ The very rushed The Cluster Arc (Season 2, 18 - Season 3, 5)
      • Peridot is caught and becomes a midget.
      • Peridot discloses to the CGs the cluster in the Earth.
      • Peridot and the CGs make a truce to build a drill so they can get to the cluster and destroy it.
      • Peridot starts being racist to Pearl, as well as, getting on Garnet's and Amethyst's nerves.
      • Garnet reveals how Ruby and Sapphire felt in "love" at first sight and first fuse into "Cotton Candy" Garnet.
      • The CGs go to the moon base to find out exactly where the Cluster is. (Russia is literally gone.)
      • Peridot steals a connection to the Diamond Communication Line to try to get Yellow Diamond to spare the Earth, she refuses and Peridot calls her a clod, creating a meme face.
      • Malachite resurfaces(out of the blue because poor plotting) so the CGs go and fuck her up. Malachite defuses.
      • Steven and Peridot take the drill and disable the cluster by having it bubble itself.
    • Bazzzillionare Greg (Season 3, 10 - 18)
      • Greg's old Jewager, Marty, sells his song for $10,000,000, making Greg rich.
      • Greg, Steven and Pearl go to a luxury hotel in Empire City so Greg and Pearl can finally sort their shit out.
      • Greg buys a car.
      • Kevin shows up to be a dick so Steven and Connie fuse into Stevonnie and use Greg's car to race him despite neither of them knowing how to drive.
      • Greg rents a boat and takes Steven and Lapis out to sea. Jasper comes back, gets cucked, and Lapis punches a hole in the boat to launch Jasper into next week.
    • The Jasper Arc (Season 3, 18 - 25)
      • Jasper comes back and proposes to Lapis but gets cucked, and clocked into next week. Literally.
      • Jasper decides "fuck trying to get back to homeworld, imma build my own army" and captures corrupted Quartz soldiers to get back at "Rose".
      • Jasper destroys Amethyst's form and self-worth like a boss.
      • Jasper uses the kindergarten she was made in as a make-shift jail for her "troops".
      • Steven and Amethyst fuse into a grape boy called Smokey "Quartz" and have Jasper free all but one her prisoners by accident. Jasper rapes a dog and gets AIDS.
      • Jasper becomes corrupted and bubbled, with no hope of ever being redeemed until the end of Season 5 finale.
      • Bismuth intrudes the arc, but is also poofed and bubbled with no hope of ever being redeemed, because she's too violent for a kid's show. She comes back in Season 5
    • Filler (Season 4, 1 - 10)
      • Filler.
      • More filler.
      • More filler.
      • More filler.
      • Except for that episode with the demon butterflies and that annoying song. FACT: they got a AZN animator to animate this episode which is why it looks good compare to the other shit they done.
      • Oh and Pearl somehow manages to get even gayer with a "Rose" lookalike.
      • Greg's cousin shows up and more filler happens.
    • "Time for Answers" but not that much (Season 4, 16 - 21)
      • Steven starts accidentally ESPing with Blue Diamond. His dreams are of Pink Diamond's Palanquin and he cries involuntarily.
      • Steven tries asking the Gems questions for once but they dodge the answers in the most retarded ways possible.
      • Greg and Steven go to Korea to find the Palanquin and Blue Diamond.
      • BD kidnaps Greg and puts him in a "human zoo".
      • Steven and the gems use the Rubies'ship to find and get Greg back.
      • They find and land on Pink Diamond's space station, where YD and BD are also there, and try to blend in but failing hard at it. Steven is taken to the zoo.
      • The zoo people are inbred.
      • BD being a emo crybaby as she misses Pink Diamond and YD gets tried of BD shit.
      • Amethyst meets the other Earth made Amethysts who are call themselves "The Famethysts" and are treated like shit by Holly Blue Agate due to being made on Earth.
      • Steven and Greg escape the zoo with the Crystal gems and the gems "defeat" Holly Blue with a empty threat.
    • Fillers Again (Season 4, 16 - 21)
      • Holy SHIT this season has so much filler!
      • Nobody on Reddit likes any of these episodes. Plus the amount of clickbait titles like "Bloodstone" made people REEEE.
      • Steven realize that his mother may really be a piece of shit.
    • Kidnapping used to move the plot along for the third time (Season 4, 22 - 25)
      • Lars is gay.
      • Steven meets a cute loli gem named Aquamarine who's looking for my daddy and then promptly flies away.
      • Steven and Connie find Aquamarine, only to discover that she and her slave fusion Topaz have kidnapped all of the missing people and put them inside Topaz.
      • Aquamarine is revealed to be a psycho bitch and kidnaps Connie.
      • The CG are wrecked by Aquamarine and Topaz(due to doing nothing 98% of the time instead of training) while Steven gets kidnapped.
      • All the humans are put on a ship to homeworld piloted by Aquamarine, but Steven splits up Topaz and frees his friends.
      • Everyone jumps off the ship, and Steven convinces Aquamarine to let his friends go because he is his mom, but Lars is gay and is still on the ship to homeworld.
    • One hour in two locations on Homeworld then back home to the Beach City status quo. Clickbaited special (Season 5, 1 - 4)
      • Aquamarine gloats for an unnecessary amount of time.
      • Steven and Lars argue for like 5 minutes and promptly make up. Topaz has a gigantic emotional breakdown over how sweet Steven and Lars are and tries to get them to an escape pod but is caught by a flying blue dwarf.
      • Topaz beats the shit out of Aquamarine until she remembers that Aquamarine is basically gym nobility.
      • Steven and Lars are separated.
      • Steven goes to court and is defended by a Zircon who is voiced by Princess Carolyn. Blue Diamond cries a lot.
      • Half of this episode is basically Amy Sedaris talking to herself, resulting in it being better than pretty much every other episode.
      • Zircon goes bananas and comes up with the most sensible theory about Pink Diamond's death on the show yet. She is promptly poofed by Yellow Diamond for actually being the first person to make sense of the case in 5,000 years.
      • Blue and Yellow Diamond argue, and Steven escapes with Lars.
      • They end up being sheltered by "off-colors", basically gems with disabilities. None of them have any personality and or that important. Filler dialogue ensues.
      • Lars dies and is brought back to life and now has pink skin. All just for shook value.
      • Lars becomes Steven's familiar; Steven can use Lars's hair portal to travel to Lion's mane back on Earth.
      • Steven does so and abandons Lars on Homeworld, who will most likely be sacrificed by the off colors in their bimonthly ritual.


    • Guess what?!Even more filler (Season 5, 5-10)
      • Steven tries to help Mayor Dewey with his re-electon against the pizza family grandma. At the end, Dewey ragequits and gives grandma the free win.
      • Connie gets mad at Steven for not fighting as one aka fusing with her; Steven, being a dick and forgetting about Lars on homeworld, says that everything is fine. Connie then leaves, taking Lion with her.
      • Greg and the gems take Steven on vacation and try to tell him gem plot stuff. Steven however, only whines about why Connie won't answer back to him.
      • Lapis, fearing that the diamonds will catch her ass again; wants to get the fuck off Earth. Gets mad at Peridot for not wanting to come with her and so takes the barn with Peridot's stuff with her then pussies out and leaves.
      • Peridot moves back in the bathroom at the gems' house, acting emo that Lapis left. Steven and Amethyst try to cheer her up by taking her to the Kindergartens to plant flowers.
      • Sadie, missing Lars, quits her job at the donuts shop and, with Steven, forms a band (complete with a terrible written song).
      • Kevin invites Steven and Connie to his party just so they can fuse for him to show off. Connie starts talking to Steven again just so he can stfu about her.
    • Filler with little plot + Pink Diamond reveal(Season 5, 11 - 13)
      • Steven and Connie happens to get to Lars and the off-colors, who Lars(off-screen) happened to become a leader and weeb anime captain of the off losers and they stole a spaceship(again, off-screen) from Emerald (voiced by a "Non-Binary" trap who won on Rupaul's drag race and is a fan of the show).
      • Lars sees a video of the band Sadie is in and gets mad at her for having a good time without him while under attack.
      • Steven and Connie fuse into Baitvonnie for no reason and tries to shoot down Emerald but gets shoot down and crashed onto a unknown planet.
      • Baitvonnie(who has "beard hairs" to please the Tumblr crowd) tries to survive on the unknown planet
      • Out of the blue, she dreams of being Pink Diamond, who's revealed to be a midget annoying brat with a under-side down detail diamond gem, whining to a Connie's mom/Yellow Diamond mix, wanting stuff. YD then tells her to grow the fuck up then PD gets mad and punches a mirror wall.
      • Baitvonnie then wakes up and just so happens to be camping in front of YD's old communication hub and call Lars to come get her.
    • Hey! How about some more filler(Season 5, 14 - 16)
      • Lars and the offs are still in space and their ship breaksdown.
      • Steven brings Garnet(rather than to bring someone more helpful like Peridot) with him to meet the off-losers. Garnet gets wet at seeing them which made them uncomfortable as fuck.
      • Garnet tells them about "Rose Quartz"(more like lies Pink Diamond told of her Rose form to make herself look good) and its the same shit that the show already touched on for the million time.
      • The corrupted "song" is not really a song but nothing but a power beam that the diamonds fire from their hands.
      • The show hinted that Pink Diamond may be alive(because of fucking course and would throw the whole "murder mystery plot" out the fucking window Protip: haha it did! See below).
      • The rest of this "arc" is nothing but boring beach city filler like always.
    • Muh "Rose was Pink Diamond" theories came canoz!!! (Season 5, 17 - 18)
      • Steven finds Lapis has ran to the Moon Base where she stalk and spies on Peridot and the gang.
      • Steven again randomly dreams about Pink, Yellow and Blue Diamond with Blue telling Pink to get her shit together and stop making excuses for the colony she bitch and wanted for. Pearl then walks in comes in with Rose's Sword and "shatter" Pink Diamond.
      • Lapis then runs away yet again and nothing a value was lost.
      • Pearl, through the most retarded way of finding her cellphone, shows Steven inside her gem memory that his mother Rose was really Pink Diamond. Pink Diamond, tired that the Diamonds don't want to listen to her crying ass for wanting to save Earth for her human fetishes, decides to fake her shattering and become Rose for good and forced pearl to go through with it promising that they can be lesbos forever(well Pink would later dumped Pearl for Greg). Steven shows very little emotion as he takes it well.

    Some LOLZ were to be had that night. Many people BAWW quit the cartoon due to a old shitty theory back from Season fucking one because canon. The crew "planned" this "twist" since 2013 and it shows with them opening a fuck ton of plot holes. This is what happens when you don't have any writers on the show and think you can write, you get shit like this.

    • Heart of the shitty writing (season 5, 19- 24)
      • Garnet defuse after learning that Rose was Pink and Sapphire runs off mad.
      • Pearl, through her rose tinted glasses of Pink, tells how Pink was bored of her job, wanted to go down to the Earth Kindergartner to see her Amethyst gems but can't as she is. Pearl suggest that Pink can shapeshift(more like steal) a Rose Quartz identity, instead of a Amethyst gem for some reason.
      • Pink then fucks around on Earth playing with flowers then she saw some redskins. She then wanted to save earth for her now human kinks for herself.
      • Pink begged the Diamonds(just a note, White Diamond is nowhere to be found during all this) if she can stop killing Earth, but YD and BD told her to gtfo and colonize Earth. She then used her Rose form to try to scare the both of them away from Earth.
      • Sees Ruby and Sapphire cross fuse into Garnet for the first time. Pink then realize that she can get other gems for her selfish goal. The rest is history.
      • Sapphire is forced to forgive Pink because the show says so.
      • Ruby runs off to be a dyke cowgirl because she tired of putting Sapphire first. Totally not because Ruby takes fusion like serious business. Steven being the prick of just wanting Garnet back, told Ruby she should marry Sapphire because A. crew's ego and B. marriage solves all the relationship problems.
      • Steven brings back Bismuth and like Sapphire, is force to forgive Pink Diamond.
      • They throw the midgets' wedding( Rebecca and CN gloating that they did a gay wedding in a cartoon). The Diamonds come to fuck shit up by awaken The Cluster but turns out that the cluster is good because Steven...yeeaahh; and battles Yellow Diamond. The rest of the gang (with Lapis comes back out of nowhere) fight Blue Diamond. After the totally lackluster battle with both Diamonds(Lapis and Peridot get poofed), Steven then uses the power of he is his mom(but using his mom true identity, Pink Diamond) again and everyone stop fighting.
    • Battle of Shitty Writing and Plot Holes (season 5, 25 – 32)
      • Steven tells YD and BD that the gems were corrupted and not killed off by the hyper beam and that they need to fix it. YD and BD say they can’t do shit unless they get White Diamond to help and she's a bitch to talk to.
      • They find Pink Diamond’s ass and legs ship(Really Rebecca?) and head off to Homeworld. Once there, White Pearl takes Steven to White Diamond (both are T posing to assert dominance) where she thinks it really Pink and send Steven to Pink’s room.
      • Steven dresses up as his dead mom and and sings a shit song about throwing a party to get the Diamonds “closer” as a “family” like the good old times. His friends are treated like shit because no shit, look where they are.
      • Diamonds has Era 3 gems fresh out the oven (White doesn’t show up but White Pearl there). Everything goes to shit all thanks to Connie wanting to dance with Steven with them fusing and the GCs getting REKT by YD for fusing.
      • Baitvonnie is thrown in a dark tower and filler happens
      • Steven does what he does best and talks his way to BD and YD so they can help him like the true soyboy that he is. White Diamond stops them with her head and Pink’s ass ship combine.
      • Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot comes to the rescue in BD and YD arm ships. Steven tries to talk to White Diamond but she turns YD and BD gray and make them her puppet bitches.
      • Steven does gray stu things with the CGs gems and fuses with each one of them then all 4 of them fuses into Obsidian.
      • White Diamond then turn the CGs into puppet bitches as well then roast the shit out of everyone even Pink Diamond. She then puts out Steven’s gem out of him to get Pink back.
      • Steven gem soul then does OP anime stuff and refuse back into Steven where he then “defeats” White Diamond with a shitty one line comeback and makes her blush(no really).
      • Blah blah blah shitty happy ending with the diamonds redeemed and turn the corrupted gems back to normal gems, Lars and the off retards finally comes back, then they just sit around doing nothing.
    • Soyboy Universe: the musical, the movie
      • Steven is now 16(guess he learned how to grow) and the Diamonds act like creeps to get Steven to stay with them because they're still not over losing Pink cunt Diamond.
      • Steven sings about getting his perfect happy ending without having to fight like a true male during the whole show
      • They builded a mini homeworld for the uncorrupted gems in Beach City.
      • For a musical, its has a lot of shitty songs expect for the one the villain sings and they still suck at pacing.
      • A 1930, looney tunes like gem name Spinel comes to fuck Steven’s shit up with a giant gem machine that can poison all of Earth(aka just Beach City) and poofs the GCs and fucks up Steven’s op powers with her scythe before he poofs Spinel with it.
      • turns out the scythe can reset gems back to what they were in the first place(aka back into homeworld slaves).
      • Bismuth, Lapis, Peridot and Connie are all still useless and don’t do much.
      • Steven then spends half of the damn movie trying to get the CGs memories back.(Note: they were just singing about their lives before PD/Steven fucked them over even more only for the movie to repeat it again) Steven fuses with his dad to get Pearl back and form into the alpha male fusion, Steg (which made the fanbase unconformable with how toxic masculinity he looks, while some creeps got horny over an young teen and his grown father fusion.
      • Spinel use to be Pink Diamond’s playmate(So like a Pearl. Totally original). Once YD and BD gave PD Earth like she wanted, Pink left Spinel's ass to rot for 6000 years in her garden in one spot since Pink was tired of her ass. Spinel then saw Steven’s broadcast where she snaps.
      • Like in his true selfish manner, Steven admits that he just needed Spinel to lift the machine only to not give a rat’s ass about her which she then goes back to wanting to destroy the earth and him.
      • Steven gets his op powers back and after a lame fight and damages to Beach City, Steven hands Spinel over to the Diamonds(aka the gems that screw her over due to the system in the first place) as they only see her as a replacement for Pink.
      • Steven then kisses the ground to replace the flowers then goes back singing about being a Beta fuck.
    • Steven Universe: Future aka Season 6 aka its boring as shit
      • This "spin off" was meant to "tie up" any loose ends they forgot from the previous seasons. Poorly of course. Ranging from: the REAL Rose Quartzes being freed(no thanks to Steven and the CGs) and one of the Roses looks just like Steven's mom form and everyone is unconformable as fuck around her. Pink Pearl was not only abused by White Diamond but Pink Diamond as well which why her right eye is cracked. etc.
      • Of course its filled with boring fillers even though this is their last season. They pumped out any last anime references and caters to Tumblr for one last time: Trans bathroom sign, a straight from Tumblr token "non-binary" looking dude, Mega Pearl and Pearl x Bismuth, etc.
      • The rest of this season is one big boring PSA for mental health. Rebecca read some child psychology book and decided it was such a good idea to do a whole season around it using Steven(oh plus what his voice actor was going through or some shit like that).
      • Steven not only acts more as a piece of shit(just like his mom), he can now turn super pink when he gets angry at the littlest shit that happens around him. To the point he fucking MURDERS Jasper in a fight(then brings her back. Thats right; him and Yellow Diamond can now bring back shattered gems so this show has no face long last consequences for one actions anymore.
      • Steven gets so mad that he corrupts himself into a large, pink, dick and balls shape Godzilla rip off and does nothing. How he got uncorrupted? Get this, The Diamonds plus the CGs gave themselves a fucking pity party( more like they'll so use to using to Steven as they're personal wet snot tissue but in turn don't know how to help him back); then, this is the cherry of this shit sundae, they gave him a fucking group hug. Not joking. This is what turns Steven back into himself. If this is not the lamest shit I don't know what is.
      • After all that, Steven decides to just fuck off from Beach City and go on a road trip around the US. Leaving everyone who he wanted to care about his royal faggot ass, behind(just like his shitty mom did except he didn't kill himself). Oh yeah Pink Diamond, the TRUE villain of the show, is never bought up ever again after the Pink Pearl shit, not even during this whole Steven pink power problems. Thank god this shit show is finally over.

    Characters


    • Steven "Pink Diamond Jr" DeMayo - Jew wishing troll and the main character. He is a diabetic, retarded, gary stu with a craving for curry nigger snatch. As the bastard son of Pink Diamond, he has inherited all of her powers (which he can just magically be "pro" at using without really learning how to use them); such as healing literally anything ever, creating life, possessing people, good old-fashioned necromancy, inspiring alarming amounts of rule 34 drawings, and others. If you pose a threat to the planet's existence, Steven will still see you as capable of changing; but if you hit on him, you're worse than Hitler. Has PTSD and an inferiority complex caused by the fact that 1.) his dad is a fat loser that lives in a van, and 2.) thinks everyone is expecting him to be just like his fat suit, criminal, chubby chasing, dead mom. Now as a whiney, wrist cutting, emo teenager, he acts like a moralfag, liberal, selfish piece of shit like his mom, except with wayyyy more cringe. For some odd reason, the fanbase(maybe some of the crew as well) think Steven is a "trans metaphor" just because his mother, Pink "shapeshift birth?" into him.
    • Greg DeMayo - Steven's dad. He's a diabetic former “musician” with balding cat hair and is the poster child for how to fail at life. He met Pink Diamond because she's the only person who pretended to like his shitty music. After getting dumped by his coke addicted “band manager”, Greg quit his music “career” and became a beach bum. Now Greg runs a Car Wash and lives in a van, so Steven lives with the Gems (most likely due to a loss in court when social services deemed that he was a terrible father and Steven was no longer allowed to sleep in his glove compartment). Is now a millionaire and spends half of the money to fix shit the gems cause. Out of all the characters, Greg is pretty much the best due to the fact that he is relatable to fat stoners and deadbeat dads everywhere. His tan lines come from frequently waking up on the beach hungover after drinking bong water, eating Stew’s Pizza, and crushing gem pussy all night. His biggest achievements as a father include never getting Steven vaccinated, never providing him with health insurance, never enrolling Steven into school, never buying Steven more than one outfit, and something about pork chops and hotdogs, (pretty sure that’s all Steven ate as a developing child).
    • Connie - Steven's curry nigger, obligatory love interest. Connie's mom is a doctor and her dad is a rent-a-cop who works for multiple beaches in multiple cities so she isn't in the same place for long, which is a retarded premise considering her mom is a doctor that would make four times his shitty salary, so the idea they move around for him is fucking stupid. This means that Cuntie can't make friends, which results in her spending most of her time reading books and looking at boats, (which is probably the real reason she has no friends.) She often demonstrates her ability to be a poorly written bitch, like when she lied to her parents about Steven having a mom despite Steven's mom clearly being dead, then she has the audacity to yell at Steven for feeling upset that she lied about his DEAD MOTHER. Now she is an edgy sword fighter thanks to Pearl's training. Pearl also brainwashed her into being a slave that would “protect and die for Pink Diamond at all times". Later Connie was really only there to fuse with Steven and not much else. Nowadays she just gets mad at Steven for shit he can't control while forgetting the fact he cured her shitty eyesight and saved her from a pathetic friendless life and becoming an hero alone on the beach.


    • Pearl - Rebecca's self insert. She is a smart-ass who thinks she's superior inferior to anything surrounding her due to Pink made her feel like a worthless bitch even after "freeing" Pearl and Pink's death. Was Pink Diamond’s second slave pearl and because of that, had a unbearable thirst to be the sub for her diamond Dom and boy, does it show. She likes to do almost anything in the name of Ros.. Pink Diamond even watches Steven in his sleep. Since she can't sex it up with master Pink Diamond anymore and "got over her", she'll settle for the next best thing Rebecca like to pair her with: Garnet, Hype dyke Not Pink,Pink Pearl Bismuth. Gets the most attention in the show, fans and crew(gee I wonder why). FACT: Pearls are not even gems; shows how little the crew did research into gems.
    • Amethyst - Aspie Gem that was grown on Earth by the evil Diamonds' piss who drank and smoked crack while making her so she came out deformed and missed the war because of it. She was then found by Pink Diamond(who owns her ass in the first place), Pearl, and Garnet after the war; then joined them because they pitied her like a sick orphan. FAs on Tumblr can NEVER get enough of her because, like a disturbingly high number of characters in this show, she's FA-worthy. She is the only gem that has diabetes due to constantly stuffing her fat face (even though apparently Gems don't need food, or drink, or sleep, or air). After Pink died, she became Greg’s fuck buddy rebound who used to play with his junk while they watched bootleg VHS tapes in his storage unit. (Seriously, we can’t make this shit up). She randomly drop her "The Purple Puma" fake wrestling fursona because shes too good for it anymore. You learn throughout the series that she is forever worthless as hell. Her weapon is a spiked balls whip. She also has an inferiority complex because she's a "defective" Gem: While Quartz soldiers are supposed to look like ripped bulldykes (see Jasper), Amethyst is only half the size, fat, came out of the ground after too long. Pink Diamond only said she was "perfect" because she related to Amethyst as a misshapen gem dwarf and because Amethyst was born in a similar manner to her son Steven; the result of drunken beach sex that resulted in a fat midget. Her only redeeming quality is that she was the only one who rightfully cussed out Pink Diamond. By the way, they barely had what Amethyst character was going to be at the start of the show, so they wrote her as the show was going.
    • Garnet - The Leader of the Crystal Gems since Pink Diamond died. According to her people she is “thicc AF”; Tiny waste, huge hips n ass, several unpaid child support payments. She is secretly a fusion of two lesbians (lesbians exist in kids' shows now). One is an icy cyclops mutant, the other is a flaming afro dyke. Her powers include seeing into the future, swimming in lava, and a diva voice (done by some unfuckable euro darky who no one ever heard of and can't voice act for shit). The Gem Homeworld is full of Dixie Confederate Republican Gems that didn't like Garnet being Garnet, so she was found by Pink and later, joined Pink Diamond army to fight for Earth so she could be free to be a black hole of faggotry. The french dub of the show censored Garnet's gayness spawning a sewer flood of hate. Now just a cardboard cutout of her old self and just centers around nothing but fusions and goes on and on about being made of "love". She later "marrys herself". Her weapon is a pair of gauntlets. Fans only like her (along with Ruby and Sapphire) because she is the "black", lesbian eye candy that tosses male romantic advances to the side like used tampons.
    • Ruby and Sapphire - One dimensional, annoying Dwarf lesbians that make up Garnet and the show's gayest characters thats based off of Rebecca and Ian's STRAIGHT relationship(no joke. Rebecca stated this twice. Which is telling about their relationship). A hot-headed red one with fire powers and a cool-headed blue one with ice powers. Completely Original. They felt in love at the very first sight of each other(something Garnet said she doesn't believe in) after Blue Diamond was about to shatter their asses for lesbo scissoring each other into Garnet. Very co-dependent as they can't last five seconds apart from each other, mainly due to Ruby taking fusion so fucking seriously that it’s borderline domestic violence. Because of these two and Garnet, lesbian carpet-munchers and gay soyboys started to heavily praising the show to death and Rebecca likes to milk them whenever she can like a true money hungry Jewish cunt that she is. They later get married which was pointless other than just to cater to their faggot fanbase. Guess what, they'll still one dimensional characters after all this.
    • Lapis Lazuli - A waterbender. The Crystal Gems trapped her in a mirror for 5750 years until Steven broke her free. She flew to her homeworld in space to find that if you give a civilization 5750 years they tend to advance. She fused with Jasper so she could use her water-powers to trap herself and Jasper at the bottom of the ocean forever. Fans want to fuck her because tumblr fags think they relate to her 'abused' past. Thus, making her the most overrated and second to boot meme'd SU character and all that cringy shit. Now she has little to no personality (the little she had in the first place) other than acting emo and cracking unfunny PTSD jokes while she scissors with Peridot in the barn watching soap operas on VHS. Last Thursday she sperged out at the idea of being caught by the Diamonds and took the barn into space to escape. She was staying on the moon and used the moon orb to stalker watch Steven and the gang back on Earth. She left for the third time then came back out of nowhere to aid in the fight with the diamonds on earth, only to get poofed by Yellow Diamond. She later reforms and is still useless. NOTE:Turns out that her whole design was stolen from some old ass subpar 80s anime noone remembers. Shows what a bunch of weebs and thieves the crewiverse are.
    • Peridot - A racist who uses prosthetics and jerks off to The Diamond Authority. She used to be a baddie but now she's a goodie because of Steven's selective character redemption powers. As an "Era-2" peridot, she's a shitty millennial whose only power as a Gem is basically to be Magneto (which she is never able to utilize effectively because Sugar is allergic to actual conflict). She likes aliens(even though, she is one) and has a tablet that she fully admits is " all that she has and is". Following her reformation, she spent most of her time just sitting around the barn Steven gave to her as a home, munching Lapis’ cobalt carpet while waiting for when the crew came knocking for her and Lapis to do some pointless bullshit to make them even remotely relevant again. The crew pretty much only use Peridot now as they're "lol so random!" character. Turns out she’s asexual and doesn't care about fusing with anyone, making all the Peridot shippers/fan-fusions BAWWWW. Stupidly got poofed by Yellow Diamond after giving her a pressed ham. She too later reforms and is still useless, doing nothing of note during the shitty movie or the final season "Future" following it.
    • Jasper - A roid-rager who Peridot dragged her with to Earth, is Lapis' abusive "girlfriend" and thinks Steven is Rose Quartz(who is really "her diamond", Pink Diamond and Steven is her diamond's son). She fused with Lapis after being jelly that Garnet is infinitely better than her in every way (even though she thinks fusion is for pussies) but Lapis dragged their fused body into the ocean. After separating from Lapis, Jasper became obsessed with fusing with her again, but was thrown back into the ocean. She later created an army of corrupted Gems, but fuse-raped one of them and got AIDS. Got rekt and poofed by Peridot. She comes back for 5 seconds in the season 5 finale and got fucking murdered by Steven in Season 6(only for him to bring her back from the dead with his OP Jesus powers). The crew fucked over her and her fans one last time with having Jasper carving in and taking it in the crystal ass by Steven's pink dick at the end.
    • Bismuth - The blacksmith that made all the Crystal Gems' weapons and made Pink Diamond her sword that can only poof gems, because a black character handing out weapons to their fellow gang members makes perfect sense. She treated the war like an actual war; got bubbled for it by Pink then left her black ass in her Pink Lion mini space for years. Upon her chimp out in her debut, the fans started demonizing Fructose for having a "black-coded" character be loud and aggressive, and also for stating that murder is wrong. Steven refused to shatter other Gems, and this made Bismuth turn apeshit against Steven, attempting to shatter him. As said, Pink Diamond bubbled her ass as Bismuth wanted to kill her diamond "family"(the same "family" who couldn't gave two shits about her and abuse her ass) and PD wanted to cover her own ass. Comes back just for the token faggots' wedding and she's force to forgive Pink. FACT:Like Pearls, Bismuths are not fucking gems either.

    The Great Diamond Authority

    • Yellow Diamond - Gem-Hitler jr. She first appeared in the extended opening theme song for the show when she turned her head for a bit which made fans cream themselves. She wants to destroy the earth because "Rose killed" her Pink midget sister but turned out that she was tired with putting up with Pink's shit and yelled at her ass. She is such a boss that even the crewniverse fangirls over her VA(who is a well known Broadway singer and actress aka wasted money as crew barely use her). She and Blue were only bad because "White made they do it"(no really, the crew went with this shit).Can shoot lightning like beam that can 1HIT KO poof gems Nope, Now that she a goody, she can now fix shattered gems and their appearances.
    • Blue Diamond - A Sith Lord who refuses to accept the fact the Pink is dead, also a massive emo. Was supposed to be some metaphor for being a "homophobic" for wanting to shatter Ruby for fusing with her Sapphire before Rebecca rewritten her to be a lame crybaby bitch and change her into a (poorly) rip off Leiji Matsumoto's artstyle. She barely cared about Pink as Pink was not doing her job and making excuses like the lazy bitch she is. Started crying hard when Pink fucked off and killed herself from fucking on Greg's dick so hard. Her power is just make other gems and people cry with her emo bawww blue aura. Has the power to make gems happy with her "happy clouds". Speaks so softly it's almost impossible to understand anything she says and somehow has a Irish tone now.
    • Pink Diamond - Worst Diamond and Steven's dead mother. The true villain of SU and was the show's shitty walking plot device. Pink was an selfish, narcissistic, manipulative midget cunt whos has a upside down gem cut and dressed like a clown, complete with oversize puffing anime hair you see in Chris Hart's how to draw manga books. Has a mindset of that of a child who happens to have the most OP powers(her main power is tied around her emotions or some cliche shit like that, so she can throw super temper tantrums that can damage walls. Just like real women do) because why not. As stated before, was given Earth by her Diamond "family" to shut her ass up for wanting a planet of her own. Bitch got bored then saw some rednecks humans walking around and suck some of them off, and then wanted all the human men dick for herself but the Diamonds told her no. Not liked being told no, forces Pearl to faked her death with the empty promise that she'll eat Pearl's cunt out forever and pretended to be a fat Rose Quartz that she stole from one of her Rose Quartzes while SOMEHOW able to shapeshift it for 1000+ years (with zero problems with being able to flip her fucking gem to the top view). She started up the rebellion leading into a worthless war over for her human kinks(by the way, she made all her gems fight each other, got her REAL Rose Quartzes poofed and bubbled up for her shit, etc). All this just so she can do and get whatever her ass wanted as she doesn't like her ass being told no by anyone. She would later magically shapeshift a pair of female sex organs for Greg to bang her diamond cunt with then a womb where she died into her son, Steven. Rebecca tried hard to make Pink be seen as this "moral gray" gem; but instead, was a failed "hero" who then passed all her problems she caused to her own son for him to fix when it got too hot for her ass to take and fucked off an hero. Dumbass fanbase makes tons of excuses for Pink just because she "saved" Earth, she's "complex", and that her "development was really in reverse". Rose x Pearl pairing was really a master x slave pairing this whole time.

    Fusions

    • Opal - Whenever Pearl and Amethyst aren't arguing over dumb shit, they can perform fusion to "form Opal": a four-armed giant woman; the Gems claim that they only fuse when they have no choice but hardly ever do it when they need to and when they do it, it's hardly ever when they need to. Barely had any lines of dialogue throughout the whole show and is somehow stable despite how much Pearl and Amethyst throw bitch fits at each other all the time. Barely seen in the show.

    Fun Fact: Originally they were going to pose her arms to form a swastika as a Hindu reference but were forced to scrap it because culturally ignorant Jews and Social Justice Warriors would have been offended and that can't ever happen. Her weapon is a bow.

    • Sugilite - Whenever a mission can only be completed with brute force and lots of it, Garnet and Amethyst will fuse to form Sugilite. In exchange for that power the three succumb to roid rage. Was designed after Nicki's little part in the song "Monster" and voiced by fake big ass Nicki Minaj herself. Barely seen as Nicki cost too much to voice act.

    Obviously the SJ-Wankers were appalled by how obviously racist her character is, which surprised us all since SJWs typically jerk off to and worship the Steven Universe characters. Sugilite's weapon is a flail.

    • Alexandrite - A fusion of all three of the CGs. Is unstable as it has all three separate personalities of each of the gems. Rather than to show it off for the first time in a battle, it is first shown (get this) for a fucking dinner meet with Connie and her parents because Steven is a fucking moron thinking it can impress her parents with his giant "mom". Has a hidden second mouth, (which rumor has it is great for monster fusion carpet munching.) Has no weapon of its own as not only can it use the CG's weapons, but weapons used by their other fusions and can also breathe fire. Is the main fusion used now and defused as quickly as they form it.
    • Sardonyx - A fusion of Garnet and Pearl. A gap-toothed cricket who acts like a magician and talk show host, also likes to boast about how perfect and elegant she is. Pearl lies to Garnet so they keep having to fuse into her, because she enjoys how it feels, causing Garnet to get butthurt and ignore her for several episodes until Pearl basically admits to being a worthless cunt who can't do shit on her own. Her weapon is a giant hammer. Barely seen in the show thank God.
    • Malachite - The Lapis-Jasper fusion that dragged its horrid form to the bottom of the sea to save Steven, getting kinky with each other with whatever shit they find down there to pass the time. Was only there for a poor written metaphor for abusive relationship and was barely a threat as the show made them out to be. It ultimately got its shit wrecked by Alexandrite and now defused.

    Her "weapon" is just Jasper's helmet and Lapis' water (with some ice?) powers.

    • Stevonnie - The creepy, accidental shota/loli fusion of Steven and Connie. A shitty metaphor for "puberty" and frequently suffers from hallucinations brought on by Steven's own mental instability, initially thought to be Connie's fighting 'skills' being overwhelmed by her edgy 12-year-old mind, being the downward spiral moment of the series if it had any upping points. Have zero personality of her own and has "beard hairs" to pander to Tumblr. The Crewiverse likes to make people of Beach City (even Garnet) wet for her whenever she appears, even though she's a tranny fusion of 2 kids; but also use her as their talking piece to pander to the "intersex" tumblr crowd. To make her even more fap bait material for sick fucks, Rebecca and her pedo fetish loving husband in a podcast confirmed that Baitvonnie is 26 when you combine Steven and Connie ages when thats not how it fucking works(then again, Rebecca drew Ed, Edd, and Eddy child porn). With Pink Diamond really being his mom, she a half diamond, half human fusion(as if this fusion couldn't get anymore special).

    Her weapon is Pink Diamond's sword and shield.

    • Rainbow "Quartz" - The 80's fusion of Pink Diamond and Pearl. Form due to how butthurt Pearl was about Greg taking "Rose" away from her and wanted to show him up. Only shows up for a minute to dance for Greg then death drop, Rupaul's drag race style, defused. Some whine that RQ is too skinny and not fat enough for their "taste". Irony, RQ was made a few days before the news that gay faggots were allowed to get married in the US. RQ formed for like 2 seconds for the first time after seeing Garnet first fused together. Won't be seen again as Pink Diamond's ass is dead unless Pearl creepily fuses with Steven (she does).
    • Rainbow 2.0 -(yes thats his name) a water down, Mary Poppins version of Rainbow "Quartz" of Pearl and Steven. Has a completely random British accent despite nether of them are britfags. His weapon is even a fucking umbrella.
    • SunStone - A lame, Sunny D rip off design fusion of Steven and Garnet. A surfer dude walking "parody" of those 90's PSA who would breaks the four wall about anti-bullying and other shit no one cares about. Almost no one likes this fusion next to Smoky Quartz. His "weapon" is just window suction cups.
    • Smoky "Quartz" - A ugly as fuck half diamond fusion of Steven and Amethyst. His terrible looks are probably due to the combination of Amethyst’s crack baby DNA and her and Steven’s combined obesity/diabetes. Looks like it came straight from Tumblr itself. This fruit is such a shit "waifu" that 4chan straight up gave up on fapping to every Gem in this show. Immediately, Tumblrites started drawing the most disgustingly obese incarnations of him that could exist, doubling the demand in Clorox bleach. He also has self-esteem issues(because of course, the crew loves to overuse self-esteem issues and anxiety as traits for most of their characters) because he is not as good as the other fusions.

    His weapon's a yo-yo. No jokes, he flings a giant yo-yo at his enemies to attack. This confirms his faggotry.

    • Obsidian - A fusion of the CGs + Steven. She is just their fucking temple house and her weapon is just a giant fire sword. Never seen again.
    • Steg - The rocker Elvis, alpha male fusion of Steven and Greg. Fusion of what Steven wish he look like if he wasn't raised by lesbos gems. He’s handsome and muscular which is a baffling mystery considering the fact that Steven and Greg are both fat ugly pieces of whale shit. Formed in the movie to bring Pearl's memories back and because of that, made the fanbase unconformable that a straight alpha male had to help a lesbo. So the crew did one thing right.
    • Mega Pearl - A rushed fusion of Pearl and Pink Pearl. Was only formed for one: yet another Utana reference, two: for another girl for Rebecca's self insert to thirst over and three: because both got fucked over by Pink Diamond. Her weapon is ribbon stick.
    • Bluebird Azurite - The Fusion of Eyeball Ruby and Aquamarine and the very last new fusion in the show. Formed as both can't stand Steven and want him dead. Looks like a mix of "let me speak to your manager" mom and a Beatles reject(you can tell the crew long gave up on making fusions look good). Her weapon is just a fucking sword.

    Others

    If you can't tell he is an antagonist.

    • Lars Barriga - An edgy as fuck kid who shops at Hot Topic and works at the local donut store. Eventually sets aside his differences with Steven and becomes his friend. Gets killed in an explosion and is brought back to life to Steven's tears, and now has a magic pocket dimension inside his head. Off screen became a try hard weeaboo, "space captain" and leader of the off-losers (Rebecca planned for Lars to die and be a pink skinned, anime space captain from the very start of the show. Really shows why this show writing is trash).
    • Sadie Miller - A short little fat girl who is Lars' coworker at Big Donut. Constantly tries to rape Lars despite the fact that he's clearly not interested in her, and then gets butthurt because of it. Once deliberately trapped herself, Lars, and Steven on a desert island for the sole purpose of trying to make him love her. She quit her job at the Big Donut and now is a lead "singer" of a band despite the fact that she can't sing for shit.
    • Onion - Annoying character who shows up whenever something random needs to happen. Onion is a small albino kid who never talks and acts like a fucking sociopath for no reason, probably due to being neglected by his drug addict mother who treats him like an outside cat. Kills small animals for fun, steals from people around town, destroys public property, and runs the local childhood mafia. Future president of the United States.


    TL;DR version: 99% of these characters are badly written, unlikable and a bunch of soft, crying faggots (even the Diamonds).

    Episodes

    See: Steven Universe/Episode Guide

    The Crew

    The fags behind this shit show. Rebecca is the bisexual(later jumped onto the "non-binary" train) woman who first worked on Adventure Time then felt that she had the "skills" to go write her own show. So she got some of her crew from college and the rest from Tumblr and her nigger now husband Ian to work along with her up on the show (up until mid season 3 where he went to made his own show, OK-KO, (another shitty cartoon) thanks to Rebecca sucking off CN higher ups for him to get a show made).

    They call themselves the “Crewiverse” and at some point in the show, decided to saturate the show with SJW toxins and poor writing skills such as: gems are “non-binary women”, Stevonnie and Smoky "Quartz" using they/them pronouns, bragging about all the minorities they have, half ass morals and lessons, “deep lore”(or the lack of it), not using character sheets to the T(and boy does it show), crappy LGBTWXYZ+ themes no one but tumblr cares about, wasting money on getting big talent voices to voice their "gemsona" character that appear more then once; only to not do nothing much with them cuz they cost too much to voice said character, and many, many more. With how their show was winning awards for all the shit writing and pandering crap the show is filled with, they let the fame and blind praises go to their gay, liberal heads and acting like they were the "innovators" of gay cartoons for all the gays to feel "special and REpRESeNTAtiON". They think they can write; but in truths, they really can’t. Rebecca and the crew just made shit up as the show went on. Rebecca and Ian stated that they had nothing planned after “Ocean Gem” if CN didn't put up the show anymore. (Funny though, Rebecca "planned" Lars becoming an anime captain and Rose was Pink Diamond before the show).

    One of the problems being good chunk of episodes are wasted on Beach City fillers(to note, the crew went hard to tell their fanbase that there are "no fillers, only character/lore growth in them") as if more interesting shit is happening outside of it, shit ends quickly to get back to Beach City. Around late season 2 and onward, characters heights was all over the fucking place(example: Steven looks like a midget toddler and less like a 14 year old). The reason? Well as stated above, Ian and Rebecca brag that they don't follow the character sheets(that THEY made) to the T and allow "artist freedom" to prevent their workers from dying from over stress like what the AZNs die from; which is why storyboards have two different artstyles. How is this a problem? Well its a problem for the Korean animation sweatshop workers who have to clean up these boards up and when done, the art its all over the place. Another major problem is being locked in Steven's POV at ALL times; meaning we have to only care about his fat, soyboy ass, so certain things(like character growth, gem plot, etc) were either dropped, rushed, or was done off-screen because Steven was not there for it. You would think after all these problems they would change their writing style after the first two seasons right?..., well clearly not.

    Anything that was not clear/brought up is talked about on their social media, books, interviews and or podcasts (aka retconning to fit what their retarded fanbase would eat up and trying to still make themselves sound deep as if they know what they were doing). Rebeeca feels the need to put every little shit that happened over her life(if it did happen like she describes it) in the show to appeal to her fans that she such a "good, understandable creator". Anyone with a brain can tell that Rebecca's show was lesbo sex first; important, good stuff later. Telling as she had to use her own gays time and time again as a last-ditch effort to not only save her shit show but after the show was done and done, use them as a desperate attempt to keep her ego ass staying relevant.

    As revealed by ex storyboarder, Lauren Zuke, an tumblr autist nut who pushed her shitty Lapis x Peridot shipping in a way Rebecca didn't like and is now a "man", said that the crew barely communicate with anyone else on the team and because of that, some crew members don’t know what the fuck is going on in the show at times.Rebecca would later damage control saying that they "do communicate with each other".

    As you can see, just about everyone in the crewiverse (hell even one of the voice actor(Ruby's voice actor) are all insufferable fucks. The fact that CN was bending over backwards to help with whatever this bitch wanted (having lesbians and a gay wedding) just because Rebecca was they're first female creator(and a shit one at that) shows what spineless pussies CN became over the years.

    The fandom

    Steven Universe was a Mistake.png

    The show's fandom frequently proves itself to be the worst fandom ever conceived. That's right. Worse than the fandoms of My Little Pony, The Powerpuff Girls, Sonic the Hedgehog, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Star Wars, Star Trek, ‘’undertale’’ and Five Nights at Freddy's combined. The main reason this fandom is such a shit-heap is because of the creators, as stated above, they were the ones who decided to saturate the show with SJW shit. Because of those toxins, the show attracted enough Social Justice Wankers for them to comprise the majority of the entire fandom. These degenerates praise the show for anything that the crew spits at them.

    The Biscourse.png

    The first thing you'll notice is the plethora of "Fat acceptance activists" who act as fanart police. If you draw any of the fatass characters skinny, you'll be shat on and permanently labelled as a fat-shaming scumbag. If you draw any of the black characters or Garnet with lighter skin, you'll be relentlessly titled a racist. If you draw a Jewish character with a small nose instead of a stereotypical giant sniffer, you're STILL somehow called a Nazi. They also think that certain ships are at a level of cancer(such as Mayor Dewey x Pearl) that's higher than that of regular ships and will label you anything from a homophobe to a pedophile depending on what ship you're offending them with. These shitheads are so bad that they drove one of the show's many artfags, zamii070, to attempt suicide. I shit you fucking not. [1] When Sugilite debuted, these cancerous fanatics somehow got it in their heads that, even though not a single Gem is black, Sugilite's roid-rage in contrast with Pearl's façade of sanity was a metaphor for white supremacy and chased one of the staff off of tumblr for, get this, Pearl(who doesn't like to eat human food) saying she likes pie.

    These three events only constitute an incredibly small fraction of this fandom's ever-expanding history of making absolute fuckwits out of themselves. In the show, there's a place called the "Keystone Motel". It just so happens that this place exists IRL also; so fans wrote fake reviews recalling Ruby and Sapphire's antics without it once crossing their minds that most people who are going to read these aren't autistic manchildren who'd get the joke or that the reviews could fuck up such a small business. When Steven Universe's 100-episode special came out, they started crying again, saying that the Crystal Gem "Bismuth" is a racist stereotype and promoting actual MURDER. When a Make a Wish Foundation kid got to watch the "Wanted" special early and spoiled some of the special and a few other things (that The Crew gave the ok to do); some youtube nobody named, AwestruckVox, a SU clickbaiter who lives for SU leaks and stole theories from Tumblr for easy views, sperged out on his Twitter, making fun of the kid's cancer for "spoiling" the special before he could make bank on it; when once again, The Crew GAVE the kid the ok to spoil it. Due of his whining and threats, the poor kid, who was a fan of his, apologize TO him. After that, Vox later attempted damage control; fearing that he was losing his Youtube views and subs, by removing the tweets and gave a half-assed, excuse filled "apology" to the kid saying in a way that he's not really sorry like a true shithead that he is.

    The moment that you are critical of the show for how shit it is, they are quick to run to “It’s a kids show” but good chunk of the fanbase are made up of grown, LGBT feminazis/faggots/soyboys (almost no kids likes this show for how boring it is). You may get angry threats in your inbox about how this show is “not that deep”; while true, these are the same faggots who write 5 page papers talking about how “deep and meaningful” SU is to them and how it’s the “greatest and gayest” show to come; they’ll then tell you that they don’t want to see the negatively in the main tag and to post in the SU critical tag. Speaking of which…

    Tumblr SU criticals

    With the fanbase so pussy that they can’t take any critique of their oh so perfect show and tired that they're favorite "progressive" show is not doing enough and turned to shit, they started a "SU Critical" tumblr tag and pointed out everything wrong with the show. While 0.1% make good points about the important stuff like: bad writing, lazy/terrible character design and development, art, The Diamond villains getting redeemed to fit the "there are no villains in the show" shit, etc and moves on from the show for good.

    The other 99% however, are SJWs who BAWWWWWW about shit no one cares about or that is not a big deal. For examples: the whole lapidot vs amedot shipping (both pairings sucks anyways), poorly done gay couples not being gay enough (but see Ruby and Sapphire's heavily co-dependent "relationship" is fine in their books), BISMUTH DID NOTHING WRONG, having a hate boner for "white-coded" Pearl and Lapis, minorities culture(s) not shown enough, "POC" gems treated "unfairly", racist Uncle Andy (talk about totally missing the point of his character),"Ableism"(the big one being Connie's eyes being healed that she doesn't need glasses anymore and the off-colors), wanting Connie to be a lesbian because making everyone gay makes everything "better", "WHERE ARE MY MADE UP TUMBLR GENDERZ/SEXUALITY GEMZ AT CREW!?", etc.

    They often make shitty rewrites and redesigns where they will: too much detail to redesigns (forgetting the keep things simple for animation rule), bright eye bleeding or boring color palettes, taking already bad canon gem(s) design and give them the good old SJW art treatment because "MUH PROGRESSIVE AND REPRESENTATION"(like making skinny gems(like Lapis and Rainbow Q.) fat, redesigning Sugilite to not be a monster "angry black woman", taking "white-coded" gems and making them "POC", the list goes on and on. Good chunk of these are just as dog shit as the main show.

    Tumblr SU criticals are quick to call the crew racist for the littlest things. When the Human Zoo episode dropped, they went nuts and claimed that the crew are racist for adding such a thing (it was done for "shock value" and not like other shows have done human zoo themes before). When concept art of Amethyst, a really muscle bulldyker gem, and a unused black looking "gem" named Concrete showed in a art book, SU crits sperged how really racist and "transphobic" Rebeeca and her the crew are for adding those to the art book; To the point that Rebeeca removed the arts from future printing of the books, Lars turning pink and erasing his Filipino race and bowing down to white boy Steven for saving him and so on.

    When you call them out on their whining bullshit, them reaching out the ass, and or that the "topic" is not that deep, the hardcore crits will react in typical tumblr fashion, they'll call you an insert-anything-here-aphobic or derail the post with stupid shit saying how wrong you are (however they will flip-flop and pretend they didn't say said thing if needed). Like any SJW, they too will chew their own criticals out if you once step a inch out of line.

    Abuse victims of the fandom

    • zamii070.tumblr (Failed an hero)
    • The Undertale fandom (Latched onto it like cancer)
    • The Overwatch fandom (Latched onto it like cancer)
    • tyrant-rex.tumblr (failed an hero)
    • floredoodler.tumblr (JK, flore just wanted to exploit the bandwagon for attention)

    The only fandom that managed to victimize this one was the Undertale fandom, as it was cancerous enough to claim that "Stronger than You" was a plagiarism of their shitty Undertale parody.

    TL;DR: The fanbase, criticals(+ anti criticals), and the crew are all SJW faggots and any normal, sane individuals should stay FAR, FAR away from them and the show like the plague at all cost.

    Miscellaneous information

    Facts

    • Steven could kill you in a fight because he's an op diamond.
    • Despite all his training and the exercise that comes with it Steven, for some reason, is still a fat tub of whale lard.
    • It's been confirmed that Crystal Gems have no sex despite being obviously female, most of them being such obvious lesbians and having sexual desires (Like how Pink Diamond somehow "fucked" Greg and made a "womb" to "birth" Steven).
      • Tumblr snowflakes condemn people who don't know this and think that the Gems are all chicks as dirty cis male Nazi hetero homophobes that need to be lynched for not caring enough about the show's trivia.
      • Don't you EVER ask for "male" gems as the crew and fanbase will tell you to fuck off and go watch those "male shows" and or that Steven is the only male "gem" you'll get(despite the fact that Steven is only half gem).
      • Rebecca ended up making all the gems (even the buff looking gems that could pass as male) female anyways. So much for "gender-less" gems.
    • Healing a corrupted Gem is impossible. Turns out you need all the diamonds to fix the corrupted and shattered gems aka the same villains who caused the shit in the first place because of "love and friendship wins in the end" crap.
    • Greg still lives in a van.
    • Jasper won't be redeemed. If you honestly think she will, you're a fucking idiot.DISREGARD THAT, SUCROSE SAID IT WILL PROBABLY HAPPEN. She semi did and now kisses Steven's ass forever for bringing her back from the dead after he murders her.
    • The Gems arrived somewhere in ~4000.BC and proceeded to massively fuck with history, with some of the shenanigans including:
      • Earth's continents being all fucked up and distorted due to "The Cluster". (the important ones are fine tho).
      • Christianity and Islam apparently not existing (but Judaism exists and it can be safely assumed that the Jews, being greedy wealth-loving fucks, worship gems as gods). only if there were small, round gems made of gold that could fit in a pouch around their neck because gems only have value to the buyer where gold is a universal tender.
      • WW2 didn't happen, no lolocaust either (at least that was unchanged).
      • Canada's flag being green and white.
    • ROSE WAS REALLY PINK FUCKING DIAMOND ALL ALONG AND STEVEN IS PD's SON!
    • Rebecca said that no one is "truly evil" in her show despite the fact that she wrote the diamonds doing fucked up things to their own(the cluster, force fusion experiments on dead gems, etc). Funny enough, Pink diamond is the true villain.
    • In this show, if you done fucked up things over and over, all you have to do is cry your eyes out and people will forgiven you easily. Great message there, crew.
      • Same with nobody is allowed to be rightfully mad at someone's (aka Rebecca's main favorites) shitty actions and have to forgiven them. Unless the character is a "cis white male"
    • No one on this show really knows how gray morality works(see Pink Diamond).
    • the crew's really likes to make up shit to cover up their piss poor writing.
    • Pink Diamond did it for the lulz.
    • This show does not in fact have le DEEPEST LORE.
    • Like the soft faggots Rebecca and her crew are, all the diamonds are redeemed and now are "cool" with Steven and the gang.

    Speculation

    File:SU-Stupid.jpg
    No comment.
    • Steven is a gigantic furfag, and according to shippers he will have sex with his lion at some point.
    • If you gave Steven the choice of an ice-cream sandwich or eating Connie's pussy he, like You, would take the ice-cream sandwich
    • Connie dies.
    • Fire Salts will eventually become a black market cooking ingredient.
    • Bleedman will eventually incorporate this show into his shitty comics. He's already made fanart. He may even make Pink Diamond responsible for the American Civil War.
    • Rose was Pink Diamond or vice versa.DISREGARD THAT, IT BECAME FUCKING CANON
    • Pink Diamond faked her death and is alive AGAIN BECAME CANON

    Trolling the fandom

    The crewniverse promoting pedophilia.
    • Draw Pearl with tits; the bigger the better.
    • Draw Garnet not as the niggiest nigger.
    • Draw Amethyst, Sadie, or Rose as skinny bitches.
      • If you get called out for drawing Rose Quartzes too thin, tell them that since Quartzes are supposed to be bulky, "skinny Rose" is actually a defective Gem and that they are being ableist. Watch them as their heads explode.
      • With Rose really being Pink Diamond, Rose really was skinny and the crew did the work for us.
    • Draw Steven (or his dad) skinny, for even more lulz.
    • State that Connie will never be a lesbian.
    • Suggest that Lars is not a tranny.
    • Claim that the Gems only care about Steven because Pink Diamond is dead.
    • Declare that Pearl didn't have a crush on Pink Diamond.
      • Bonus points for saying that they're in a parent/child relationship(also make sure to really push hard that it is a master x slave pairing).
      • Or the opposite with Pink Diamond never loved Pearl(which is canon).
    • Mistake the Gems for chicks.
      • Declare that Ruby's a dude.
    • Point out that Steven Universe is just a ripoff of Adventure Time.
    • Say that the show is for SJWs and tumblrtards.
    • Say that Rebecca and her crew are a bunch of creepy, lazy fucks that can't write and draw for shit.
      • Also that they are nothing but a bunch of tumblr, hispter weebs and liberal assholes(mostly Ian and Matt)
    • Say Stevonnie and Smokey Quartz doesn't go by they/them terms
      • Make sure to use either he/him or she/her terms
    • Really push that Pink Diamond is the true villain of SU and is not "gray" innocent no matter what the crew say and retcon in the show.
    • That this cartoon is nothing special and never will be when it ends for good.
    • That ruby and sapphire's wedding is not the first lesbian wedding as we bare bears did it first.
    • Tell them that the gem anime(which came out first by a second before SU) houseki no kuni is a better show and have a better fanbase than SU.

    Or you could just bait-and-switch the poor fuckers to this page, they'll pussy-out At least 100 percent of the time.

    Attack the Light

    In April 2015, a group of childish manlets working for "Grumpyface Studios" thought it was a good idea to develop a Steven Universe RPG for iOS and Android mobiles to add to their collection of other brilliant games based on Cartoon Network shows. "Attack the Light" was conceived as a result of Tumblrfags whining and sobbing because their favorite fat autistic 14-year-old hero didn't have his own video game. The fags wasting their lives at Grumpyface Studios saw this and immediately took the chance to spoil every fantard with a trailer of their game at FAGfest 2014.

    The game costs $3.00 on the App Store, and plays like the most generic RPG in history, utilizing the touch screen to literally do everything in-game allowing all of the pathetic losers who play it to swipe their filthy, salty fingers over the touch screen repeatedly until the screen looks like vomit. Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl play the offensive positions, while Steven supports them by forcing Diabeetus down their throats such as Cookie Cats, Bagel Sandwiches, and Rose's Tears. Player's HP is referred to as "harmony" in this game, and if a Gem loses all of their "harmony" then they are forced to emoquit in their gemstone until the battle is over. Battle sequences are tedious, boring, and repetitive, and consist of a ridiculously small variety of enemies, known as "Light Monsters". The attack methods during boss battles are blatantly obvious as well, and sometimes Steven will literally force the Crystal Gems to fuse into Alexandrite when the boss won't fuck off. Oh, and there's now a "Diamond Mode" for all the MLG Swagfags out there who want a "challenge".

    In summary, this game fucking sucks. Look at how boring the gameplay is...


    Save the Light

    Last Thursday, rather than to work on her failing show and seeing the "success" of "Attack the Light", Rebecca with Grumpyface Studios made a sequel game that no one asked for, this time for the PS4 and Xbone one. Again its a boring RPG with more (only 3 more)characters to play as now; being Connie, Peridot, and Greg. You can now play with more of the main fusions except for Alexandrite as its not in this game(something about being too OP); which made some people baww. It has the same boring as fuck RPG fight system as the last game with a few changes like you can build character(s)stats up(which will only be half done), and Steven somewhats "fight" but is still mainly the bard of the group and only somewhat useful when he fuse with Connie into Baitvonnie(just like in the show).

    This story is you save the light in the last game now you have to rescue the light from two new gem villains named; Squaridot(yes really, she just what old main Peridot use to act like but with a square head and a gem eyepatch) and her boss, Hessonite, a garnet(minus being a fusion) looking recolor, who brags about being the perfect gem(hmm sounds like someone *cough Jasper cough*). FACT: both are just the main show's copy of Jasper and Peridot; so original. So your team just fight them with other monsters and in the end, Squaridot gets poofed and bubbled(like main Peridot did minus getting redeemed) and surprise surprise, Hessonite upon defeat is deeply insecure about herself and start to question if she's really the perfect gem as homeworld makes her to be.

    TL;DR They just recycle some things from "the Return", Jasper and pre-redeemed Peridot episodes but with the light monsters. Plus none of this shit is canon like the first game.

    The game didn't score well as some felt that the game was both rushed and dragged out, like backtracking a fuck ton and areas you travel through were simply too big and empty to run thorough, which made the game feel longer then it should've. While the game surprisingly hard in a cheap kind of way as enemies had way too much health and cheap kill attacks, which made each encounter drag on and on after awhile due to some characters are underpowered to use than other characters.

    In summary,this game fucking sucks like the first game.

    Steven Universe/Dove Self-Esteem Project

    Needing to find a way to spend their Jew Gold and claim that they are doing a public service, the Jew Heads at Dove decided that they'd pick a show like Steven Universe with a lot of fat assed, geeky and loser fans to claim that they are sending a positive message to kids that it is perfectly all right for them to have another piece of cake and be happy with their horizontally growing body rather than push the tired and failed message of telling them to get up off their asses and exercise.

    Each 2 minute, or so, video has characters from Steven Universe telling children how happy they are huffing and puffing climbing the stairs because the models in magazine pictures are fakes or have them educate a spiteful character on how their meanness and calling them names like fat hurts their feelings.

    As someone with more than 3 brain cells can tell, it's aimed at the fat and lazy that want someone to tell them that their lifestyle choices are their's alone and won't question why Steven Universe does all this training and exercise but never loses a single pound.

    These videos are meant to feed the mentality of, "Tv says my round body type is perfectly fine so cheerleaders are bitchy Whores if they wont go out with me." while their true purpose is to convince Americunts to let themselves get so fat and out of shape that all China will have to do is just say America is their's to take it over because everyone is having a stroke trying to wipe their ass.

    Videos about why this show is shit

    Gallery

       
     
    A man on the cusp of manhood can't spend the whole day whackering.
     

     
     

    Steven Universe

       
     
    Will you help me into my birthday suit?
     

     
     

    —Steven Universe

       
     
    I learned to stay true to myself by watching myself die!
     

     
     

    Steven Universe, urging children everywhere to commit seppuku

       
     
    Oh Steven. You don't have healing tears; you'll never have any real magic powers, and we don't want anything more to do with you.
     

     
     

    —Pearl

       
     
    Eeh. You need to put some more "ball" in your cannon.
     

     
     

    —Amethyst talking to Steven.

       
     
    Hey it's cool man. I've seen your junk before.
     

     
     

    —Amethyst

       
     
    Swag
     

     
     

    Buck Dewey

       
     
    Dearest Jamie, No. The end. Forever. And even after that.
     

     
     

    —Yours truly, Garnet.

       
     
    I think crying is really fun.
     

     
     

    —Rebecca Sugar

       
     
    I like the way humans being play. I like playing along.
     

     
     

    —Rose Quartz

       
     
    Fusion is just a cheap tactic to make weak Gems stronger.
     

     
     

    —Jasper, who fused with Lapis because she lost a fight.

       
     
    STEVEN!
     

     
     

    —Everyone

       
     
    You clods don't know what you're doing!
     

     
     

    —Peridot

       
     
    You crystal clods!
     

     
     

    —Peridot

       
     
    I guess I'm just too smart for the likes of you lumpy clumpy clods!
     

     
     

    —Peridot

       
     
    You insufferable half-formed traitor mega-clods!!
     

     
     

    —Peridot

       
     
    I'm running out of ways to say "Clod".
     

     
     

    —Peridot

       
     
    It has no functional purpose. It just makes me feel bad.
     

     
     

    —Peridot

    UT fans honestly thought this was the original.
    Behold the highest art attainable from Adobe After Effects.
    Steven you sick fuck!
    An SU staff member actually shared this on his twitter
    Another staff member actually acknowledged this on zer twitter

    Image Gallery About missing Pics
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    See also

    External links

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