Steve Chen

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Steve Chen: Argent009 masturbates thinking about this man.

Steve Chen (or in Traditional Chinese: e®☺♥☼►, pronounced Bai'tChin) was made in Taiwan (August 1978), and a lot of people like him now because he is rich and runs YouTube (Mecca for attention whores).

A Brief Biography

At age 15, e®☺♥☼► was smuggled into America by Tong-affiliated people-traffickers who had hoped to sell him into the American sex industry. Unfortunately for them, no brothels would buy e®☺♥☼►. Rather than keep feeding him, the traffickers released e®☺♥☼► onto the mean streets of Chicago, Illinois.

Steve (as he became known to the other Chicago vagrants) eventually got a part time job as a janitor at the University of Illinois. Whilst there, he solved a math problem (that a radical professor had written onto a public university hallway chalkboard) by using Steve's special knowledge of funny chink picture writing. The professor immediately hailed Steve as a genius and gave him the position of full-time janitor at the university. (The professor later went on to write a movie script about his new janitor. By the time it appeared on the Hollywood movie screens, the "Steve" character had been replaced by a pretty white boy who got laid, instead of a Chinese guy who couldn't get laid).

Steve used his new janitorial experience to land himself an even better job as Head Janitor at PayPal. Whilst at PayPal he met Chad Hurley and Jawed "Jaws" Karim. Being a "no-nonsense hustler", fresh out of Cardboard-Box City, it took Steve no time at all to see that ripping off all PayPal's networking technology was a much better idea than spending the next forty years working for a living. With Chad and Jawed's help he was able to set up a new company (using a bunch of software that looked just like PayPal's but it wasn't because it had "property of Jawed" written all over the Install CDROM's in thick black marker ink).

This new company was called YouTube, as it put You on the internets, which are a series of tubes.

It has been reported that Steve Chen sold YouTube to Google Inc. for $1.65 billion on October 16 2006. This is in fact untrue.

The sum total of YouTube's assets is worth just slightly less than 2 million dollars. What Google did was give Steve Chen some pretend money (known as shares) so that they could put their advertisements on YouTube.

Steve received 50 billion shares in Google. The Google shares that he received are worth $500 million dollars on paper, or $500 thousand dollars in reality (when Google eventually goes bankrupt due to Viacom's $1 billion dollar lawsuit).

The Controversy

Steve Chen, co-founder of YouTube with Chad Hurley, made a deal with Bantown giving them exclusive trolling rights to the coveted YouTube turf if they would dispose of Argent009's presence. It is rumored that the removal of Argent009 was a condition set forth by Google in the contract to purchase YouTube.

It has been reported that Google owner Larry Brin said, prior to the YouTube acquisition,

Does it have to come with that fat nazi? If so, it's just not worth it.


(This information is currently unsourced - Update: the document seems to have been removed from the Google cache, which is pretty much unheard of...)

When asked point blank about the rumors, Bantown mayor and spokescat Hepkitten said,

I cannot comment about the sekrit youtube deal.


Sekrit Leaked Documents: The original message Steve sent to Bantown, opening negotiations and beginning the War of YouTube

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