|File:Enter-skull-2018.gif||This is not the place for you to project your insecurities and judgements. Realize that you are not like me, and you will never be like me. Realize that my mind exists in and belongs to another dimension of thought and I am granting you access to this brand new world.|
Sol Pais (a.k.a. DissolvedGirl, AngelShooters, LonelyAngel444, SecretSiapLos, and SiameseFeverDreams) was an edgy 18-year-old Columbiner from Florida who, on April 16, 2019, managed to shut down Columbine High School and achieve an impressive 4-star wanted level without firing a single bullet. Unfortunately, with an abysmally unimpressive kill count of zero prior to her desperation suicide on April 17, 2019, Sol ultimately proved herself to be more useless at school shootings than ED's own William Atchison and the worst sexually-handicapped spree shooter since PETA's Nasim Aghdam.
Following her death, savvy internet detectives located Sol's homepage on NeoCities and realized that, despite THE CURRENT YEAR being 2019, her website still looked like 1990s garbage from the era of dial-up. Making this discovery even more bizarre was the fact that Sol wasn't even alive in the 90s or during Columbine. Many people in the state of Colorado believe that all of this is proof that the entire incident was actually a false flag operation designed to protect the state's Fudgepacker-in-Chief, Jared Polis, from being impeached for shitting all over the Second Amendment.
Many Christian scholars believe that Sol will spend the rest of eternity getting spitroasted by Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold in Hell while William Atchison is strapped to a couch and forced to watch as his heroes rail some little bitch who got even less kills than he did.
- 1 30px Sol Fucking Edgy 30px
- 2 35px Dear Diary, I'm Batshit Insane 35px
- 3 45px Columbine: The 20th Anniversary Spectacular 45px
- 4 38px LOL DEAD 38px
- 5 30px FALSE FLAG!!111 30px
- 6 File:Yellow-Heart-icon-1-.gif Lesbian Lovers File:Yellow-Heart-icon-1-.gif
- 7 Stupidity Afloat
- 8 30px Hi-Score 30px
- 9 38px List of Victims 38px
- 10 30px Galeria Del Sol 30px
- 11 30px See Asol 30px
- 12 60px External Links 60px
Sol (short for "Shit Outta Luck") Pais was born on February 1, 2001, to some spic immigrants from some spic country who came to the Jewnited States in search of affirmative action and less rape. From a young age, Sol was infatuated with the 1999 Columbine school shooting and its perpetrators Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.
—Sol Pais, leaving a record of herself
—Totally not suspicious
—LOL Won't need to now.
—Close Contact, LLC, having a hot take
Jared Polis (Deadname: Jared Schutz) is a notorious woman-beating poofter who, in 2018, was elected to be the 43rd Governor of Colorado. Like most modern DemocRATS, Polis is a gun control nut who doesn't believe in the Second Amendment and signed a highly unconstitutional "Red Flag Bill" into law in early 2019. The bill allows the government to seize firearms from law-abiding citizens if they believe that that citizen may possibly, potentially, have a very, very, very minute possibility of going postal at some point.
Naturally, the fine citizens of Colorado weren't about to take a fucking queer trampling all over their rights, so they quickly decided to rebrand their Recall Hickenlooper Facebook group that they had used to bash the previous Governor as Recall Colorado Governor Jared Polis. As one would probably expect from a group of anti-vax redneck conspiracy theorists, the news of a national FBI manhunt for an 18-year-old girl who, by all accounts, hadn't actually violated any laws reeked of being a Jewish false flag operation to detract attention away from the Governor's scandals.
File:Yellow-Heart-icon-1-.gif Lesbian Lovers File:Yellow-Heart-icon-1-.gif
Sol's only known friend in the last year was a chubby blonde girl from Michigan named Adrianna Pete (a.k.a. AnnaJuana69 and CherryPieCrime). Sol courted Adrianna by sending her a pair of expensive earrings after hearing her boyfriend dumped her, prompting Adrianna to fly down to Florida, where they spent intimate moments together. Their relationship continued with Sol later flying to Michigan to be with Adrianna in July 2018.
Sol is not the first daughter of Edgardo "Gardi" Pais driven to lesbianism, as her older sister, Valentina "Val" Pais (a.k.a. valentina.pais.5209 and vaalentyne), has been identifying as dyke since she was 17.
It is unclear whether or not these dykedelic tendencies were inherited due to abuse from their mother, Sylvia, or possibly from one of the degenerate music industry thots that Gardi inevitably brought to hang out with them.
Like flies to shit, the news of a crazed idiot giving herself a shotgun mothwash brings all the tards to the yard, coming out in full force across Twatter, just to hear themselves speak as they try to educate people that a suicidal girl killing herself is a conspiracy designed by the FBI, that people threatening schools should be coddled, and how things would have gone differently if they were in charge.
|Kill count:||-20/20 Shooting yourself doesn't count, you dumb cunt.|
|Accuracy:||-20/20 Perfect accuracy was wasted on her own butterface.|
|Style:||-20/20 Actually thought a shotgun would be a good school shooting weapon.|
|Butthurt:||-20/20 The FBI caused more butthurt than she did. LOLOLOL|
|Bonus:||-20/20 Penalized for not turning in the assignment.|
|Total Score: -100/100 (F-----MINUSminusminus111)|
File:Sparkle.gif Brenda Ann Spencer, Jennifer San Marco, Amy Bishop - Who she wished she was like.
File:Sparkle.gif Nasim Aghdam - Who she ended up being like.
File:Sparkle.gif Suicide - She quit before she even got started.
File:Sparkle.gif Web 1.0
File:Sparkle.gif Sol's NeoCities home page
File:Sparkle.gif Sign my guestbook!
File:Sparkle.gif [email protected] - Contact her here or through the official ED Ouija Board.
File:Sparkle.gif Sol's Last.FM playlist
is part of a series on Web 1.0
is part of a series on
|Sol Pais is part of a series on
[Embrace your inner darkness]
|Featured article April 27 & 28, 2019|
|Sol Pais||Succeeded by|
Bullet to the Head of the NRA