⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️
There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.
Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically) Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
.onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)
Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.
If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.
You can also email me via [email protected]
Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.
Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021!
SmallTalk (more like SmallCock amirite?) is a programming language invented by Alan Kay at Xerox PARC in the 1970s. It was designed to be a minimalistic programming language intended for children (or adults with a similar brain capacity).
SmallTalk is basically an exercise to see how far you can take pointless and questionable features. It has no conditional or loop structures built-in so instead of nice syntax like you would get in real programming languages, you have to use objects to fake them. SmallTalk inventors claim this shows how expressive the language is but everyone else believes it's because the SmallTalk inventors were too lazy to do it properly.
SmallTalk also lets you change system objects at runtime so you can redefine true to be false and false to be true and really screw the system up. Again, the SmallTalk inventors will tell you that this shows how expressive the language is and modern SmallTalk programmers will wonder (with a straight face) why nobody uses SmallTalk.
SmallTalk was used as the programming language for the Xerox Alto, recognized as the first personal computer with mouse, GUI, and networking capabilities. Incidentally, Xerox is recognized as a company who did nothing with the technology. Some argue that the reason the Alto never made it is because the networking features that the Xerox engineers were experimenting with missed the mark at what mainstream users preferred. The Xerox Alto was also the first computer with a bitmapped display. The "bit blit" function in graphics libraries came from the instruction used in this computer (lol, memcpy is considered an invention?).
Modern implementations of SmallTalk continue the pattern of taking questionable features to fruition. One of the most innovative SmallTalks, Seaside, uses web continuations to
break your browser's "back" button ease programming (lol, web development is considered programming?).
Many pseudo-intellectual SmallTalk programmers can be found on the SmallTalkLanguage wiki. Trolling these people is mind-numbingly easy because they've been in an isolated circle jerk for so long that they've never really experienced obvious trolls, let alone srs troll attempts. Some of the naive but still effective ways of trolling them is to do so via flame war style: "SmallTalk sucks because it lacks X" where X is "multiple-inheritance", "protected variables", "friend annotations", "static typing", "a non-shitty editor", "features to support Programming In The Large", "companies hiring SmallTalk programmers", etc. They will always take the bait because they are unwilling to admit to themselves that SmallTalk is a crappy, dying language. Please do not be proud of your victories at these sort of trolling attempts, it will lull you into a false sense of superiority.
—Alan Kay bawwwwwing about how unpopular his crap language is
To be a true successful troll, you must get SmallTalk language and library implementers to add, remove, or modify features. Award yourself -100 points if your suggestion makes the language worse (i.e. you're indistinguishable from a regular SmallTalk programmer). Award yourself 100 points if your suggestion makes the language better AND there is a lengthy discussion from programmers giving knee-jerk reactions on why SmallTalk doesn't need it AND the suggestion isn't implemented. Award yourself 10 points for each famous SmallTalk personality you can bait into replying AND their reply took more effort than typing a stock response.
- $100 Laptop
- Java (if you ever wondered why Java sucks so much, they used SmallTalk as an inspiration)
SmallTalk is part of a series on Programming.
[Enter the Matrix]