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    ShoutYourAbortion

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    In modern culture, hashtags have replaced newspapers and neckbeards on alt.usenet groups as the primary source of all that which is important to society and the internets at large. Even our own President Obama created a #WelcomeRufugees hashtag to aid in his never ending quest to increase diversity in America by welcoming in those who want to kill anyone who is not like them. And let's not forget #BlackLivesMatter, which taught white people everywhere that black criminals should not be shot by the police, because letting blacks just shoot each other instead is far more cost effective. So, whether it be #YOLO to spread your retarded, kidney stones of wisdom about living your life to the fullest, or #feminism so you can repost some shit you found on Tumblr and feel like you made a difference, nothing is better than a hashtag to concentrate and disseminate the useless everyday thoughts of the masses.

    In that spirit, the internet proudly presents Template:Hashtag. In the less tolerant, cis scum dominated days of old, women who were either too slutty or too stupid to use birth control were unfairly shamed when second-rate doctors scooped out the beating heart of mommy’s little fuck up. But in today's more liberalized world, women are free to broadcast their complete lack of foresight and planning to the world and get reassuring likes from fellow cum dumpsters around the globe.

    How It Started

    Amelia Bonow

    Lindy, surprisingly unaccepted.
    Amelia, looking like the transsexual version of Anita Sarkeesian.

    On November 18, 2015 the cuckservatives that run the US House of Representin' decided to cut funding to Planned Parenthood, because PP was doing awesome genetic experimentation with aborted fetal tissue to create a badass legion of super-clone-soldiers or some shit. In response to this, some nobody attention whore named Amelia Bonow claimed she cried all day before having an epiphany: she could feed her need for recognition by creating a hashtag designed to piss off right-wankers and get e-famous at the same time! She set about creating a dream-team of failure to implement her vision.

    Lindy West

    400lb hambeast, Heart Disease Acceptance Movement advocate, and former writer for Jezebel. Notable for having suckered a bi-racial trumpet player named Ahamefule J. Oluo (who looks to be literally half her weight) into marrying her. Unfortunately, Ahamefule's half-African penis has thus far been unable to reach past West's mammoth thighs to impregnate her, and so she takes her aggression out on all those who are able to get pregnant by convincing them to get abortions. Lindy is also famous as the namesake for the terrible internet disease known as Lindy West Disease. Victims infected with this terrible affliction suffer from rapidly increasing levels of both USI and body fat until they are too obese to even fit on a fucking airplane anymore.

    Kimberly Morrison

    Bass player and singer who has forever dispelled the myth that "any chick with a guitar is hot." Aside from making incredibly shitty music, her only notable accomplishment was posting an online photo of her hairy armpit with a tattoo reading "Fuck the Patriarchy" (which supposedly went viral). Has done jack shit since then except giving interviews about her armpit tattoo. Also claims she had to leave her home for a while because she was "doxxed" by a woman; probably because chicks find hairy armpits disgusting, too.

    How It Works

    In theory, #ShoutYourAbortion is a Safe Space where the world's trollops, during the brief intervals when they don't have a dick inside them, set the crackpipe just long enough to type out their liberating uterine cleansing experience for an anxious world to read. And for a brief while this is exactly what happened. In practice, however, it now amounts to a bunch of libtards and Christfags bitching senselessly back and forth like their opinions matter to anyone and that their tweets will change other people's minds. In other words, it's the internet. Even the most cursory examination of the hashtag reveals it to be basically a meme depository with about five people who make original posts and everyone else retweeting said posts or links to other sites. It may have had potential once as a ripe ground for trolling, but it's such a confused clusterfuck that the chances of anyone even noticing your attempts are about zero.

    Tweets and OpEds

    As can be expected by any obvious attention grab, the reaction to #ShoutMyAbortion has been decidedly mixed. A large sampling of tweets and opinions are presented below in the interest of truth and justice.

       
     
    My abortion was in 2008. It saved my life and allowed me to escape an abusive, emotionally and physically violent man.


     


     
     

    @mgnwrites, explaining how her unborn son was abusing her somehow.

       
     
    I've never wanted to have children, so I had an abortion. I'm thriving, without guilt, without shame, without apologies.


     


     
     

    @faviana, the only spic in history that doesn't have kids.

       
     
    Seriously? #ShoutYourAbortion is trending? Shout this LOUDER: #PPSellsBabyParts


     


     
     

    @michellemalkin, failing to tell the public where we can buy these awesome baby parts.

       
     
    Destroying Sea Turtle eggs: Felony

    Destroying Eagle eggs: Felony
    Destroying a Fetus(Human): Get high fives on Twitter

     


     
     

    @LeahRBoss, on why it's bullshit that we're not allowed to smash turtle and eagle eggs.

       
     
    Ladies, there are so many wonderful ways to celebrate being a strong independent & intelligent woman, #ShoutYourAbortion is not one of them.


     


     
     

    @ParvaSaeua, oblivious to the fact that there's no such thing as a "strong" or "intelligent" woman.

       
     
    I've had 2 abortions. I don't have to justify or explain them to anybody. My life is more valuable than a potential life.


     


     
     

    @clementine_ford, on her unwarranted self-importance.

       
     
    My abortion was the most compassionate option for the baby and me.


     


     
     

    @practicallyUX, calls it a "baby," kills it anyway, then calls said killing "compassionate."

       
     
    #ShoutYourAbortion disturbs me on so many levels...why feel the need to 'shout' your elected surgery ending a child's life?


     


     
     

    @brittaufait, feeling the need to 'shout' her opinion despite no one giving a shit.

       
     
    #ShoutYourAbortion Proves That Modern Liberalism Is A Satanic Death Cult


     


     
     

    Matt Walsh, finding the missing link between hashtags and Satan for which theologians have been searching for centuries

       
     
    The hashtag appears as the Internet’s way to corral web surfers into their desired boxes. As befitting a forum limiting dialogue to 140 characters or less, hashtag argumentation pleases one and pisses off another but doesn’t persuade.


     


     
     

    Daniel Flynn, after his first day on the internet.

       
     
    I'm pretty sure I was an unplanned pregnancy. My mother couldn't raise kids and do drugs so she made a hard choice. #ShoutYourAdoption


     


     
     

    @negrodamus91, explaining his mother's stupid decision not to go with the drugs.

       
     
    Had an abortion when I was 19. Best decision of my life. MY LIFE. Not Yours. #ShoutYourAbortion


     


     
     

    @LuLuVallano, if an abortion was really the greatest decision you ever made then you have a pretty pathetic life.

       
     
    Please don't #ShoutYourAbortion, there are thousands of couples waiting for a chance to adopt your baby. #ChooseLife, you won't regret it.


     


     
     

    @GenGillCBN, unless you're black, in which case only Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie would be interested.

       
     
    #ShoutYourAbortion gives a new meaning to macabre.


     


     
     

    @MicheleBachmann, who probably has no fucking clue what the "old" meaning to macabre is.

       
     
    No, You're Not a Bad Person If You've Had an Abortion


     


     
     

    Caitlin Abber], telling lies.

    Video Gallery

    Woman with family of cats glued to her head talks about her abortion.


    College students sign petition to kill babies up to 5-years-old (srsly)


    The A-Team!


    Lindsay Ellis made a movie even more pathetic than her Nostalgia Chick vids.


    Just turn off the sound and fap to the chick on the left.


    What happens when you pour soy sauce on an aborted fetus.


    Ugly, twitchy, fat woman demonstrates why abortion is often ideal.



    Gallery

    See Also

    External Links

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    Featured article January 11 & 12, 2016
    Preceded by
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    ShoutYourAbortion Succeeded by
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