A very nice little announcement

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shanespannercock is an image of Britfag celebrity Shane Ritchie getting a blowjob from a girl with the face of a baboon, whilst thinking about the film Short Circuit. It materialised on b3ta some years ago and contrary to popular belief, it was not shooped and shows Ritchie for the real-life, grotesque freak he really is.

The man, the myth

Shane "Ritchie" Roache, is best know for his portrayal of loveable loser Alfie Moon, in the UK's most popular soap opera Eastenders. In reality, he's a notorious sexual predator and paedophile, with a coke habit that would make most of Hollywood vomit in fear. When meeting fans after one of his many successful stage shows, he is well know for asking young girls if they would like to go "backstage", which is his codeword for taking them up the shitter.

Touting himself and the UK's answer to Zac Efron, Ritchie seems oblivious to the fact that he's a balding, talentless, bloated cunt in his 60s. It appears that until he realises this, he will forever be intent on producing shit TV program after shit TV program. Hooray for Shane fucking Ritchie!

Youtube wheel of fail

The internet loves Shane!

I can confirm that Shane Ritchie is a grade-A cunt. He came in on a bank holiday monday demanding that a screening of some kids film be only him and his kids and that he shouldn't have to pay for it either. Was rude and abusive to all the staff, and used the immortal line "Do you know who I am?!" to which one befuddled teenager replied "No, should I?"



Horroid voice, talentless fat ugly twat.






If that fucking twat and his TV crew ever come to my house to do a soap powder advert, I'll give him more than a bloody slap!!


[email protected]

i know someone who is his hairdresser

she said his kids run around the salon when he's in and they pick stuff up, bother the other customers and the staff there don't know what to do because he doesn't bother disciplining them.

he also dyes his eyebrows. haha.



This is fucking horriable


—imbaownage - perfectly summing Ritchie's version of "I'm Your Man"

He looks fucking awful now!



very very annoying man



Agreed. A complete cunt of a man.



what a prick, bet he is on ime not a celeb please keep me in here next year......or shagging pete andre for a scoop in the sun.



...people tend to sign up for Eastenders when their careers are going down the toilet.


—EggheadOfTheFuture telling the truth

annoying git


—yiddomark74 - showing that even yids can have rational opinions

Come on Parky, glass the bastard.


—snuju1 - in response to Ritchie's interview on Parkinson

I can't stand Shane Ritchie



See also

External links

Entire page dedicated to how much of a cunt he is
A good place to post shanespannercock
Ritchie's ex on him fucking about
So many ways to troll his fanbase - try it yourself!

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