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    Shane Dawson

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    ED CLEANER 2.jpg This article needs a serious clean up

    Somebody should do something about it.

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    File:ShaneDawson3.jpg
    Shane Dawson lets loose his faggotry.


       
     
    The only people who actually seem to like Shane Dawson are scene kids, indie faggots, and little kids. I would rather jar-squat than watch anymore of this retarded shit
     

     
     

    —piel10, thinking 1man1jar is more appealing than Dawson.


    Shane "Fucktard" Dawson (born July 19, 1988) is a YouTube man-whore, racist, faggot, and cross-dresser who is always begging for 5 stars, moar comments, moar subscribers, and moar money. Shane Dawson was the 3rd, 7th, and 56th most subscribed on YouTube (he runs 3 channels, one of them consisting of all iPhone videos, and fucks the system up for everybody). Every other day, he makes a new, tasteless fail video, and it's on the YouTube homepage for the next 3-4 months. He is one of the first people to help make the term "Youtube Whore" a valid description.

    He was born Shane Yaw but changed his name to Dawson in 2008, supposedly after getting turned down as an actor because people thought he was Asian. That's right, Shane wants to be an actor.[1] As it turns out, the real reason he gets rejected is that he can't act for shit.

    Shane also says he won't have sex until marriage which is false since he has had sex with his cats multiple times.

    Most of his fans are fucktards who belong to the Cult of YouTube and worship all its gods, Shane, RayWilliamJohnson, Shaycarl, Sxephil, iJustine, etc.


    Shane Dawson continued until the day of June 26th 2020 when old videos of Shane Dawson having some fun with children appeared. Now that Shane Dawson is on the National Sex Offender Registry being watched by Chris Hansen, we at ED will be documenting all the lulz going down between him and the FBI.

    The Formula

    Shane Dawson is the person who popularized the "YouTube Whoring" formula by letting everyone know that the mass-market is retarded enough to fund people who do it. A YouTube Whore is someone who constantly begs for subscribers and positive ratings, uses cheap tactics to get large numbers of comments, and uses misleading titles and thumbnails to get views. They are scum and deserve what comes to them.

    Important note: Shane, as well as the other YouTube Whores are breaking YouTubes' terms of service by using misleading thumbnails and titles. YouTube, however, has double standards for people that make money for them. This basically means you are only allowed to break the rules if you are a YouTube partner, so be a YouTube Whore at your own risk.


    Step 1: Give Your Video a Scandalous and Misleading Title

    This is for real by the way.

    Step 2: Have a series of shitty "Characters" (AKA excuses to crossdress and be a racist fag)

    • Shane: Yes, he is a character in his own show. Naturally, this character is the sane, normal one who is always right.
    • His Aunt Hilda: An old bitch with serious partying issues, not funny at all.
    • Amy: Shane's love interest, who he plays, revealing how in love with himself he is.
    • Barb: A stereotypical dyke who rides a motorcycle and has too many piercings.
    • Shanaynay: Shitty stereotypical ghetto woman who, despite the fact that Shane wears a blonde wig when playing her, is clearly meant to mock nigger women. She always ends the episode by 'shooting' up a drug store/ fast food place/ whatever the fuck employment he feels a ghetto black woman would work at
    • Ned the Nerd: Stereotypical geek who never gets laid but is obsessed with sex, the real Shane Dawson.
    • Paris Hilton: A very accurate portrayal of Paris Hilton, if she was actually a tranny.
    • His mom: Yep, he's gone even that far. He reveals that the root of his faggotry is mommy issues by portraying his mother as a cruel woman who hates him and wants him to die.
    • S-Deezy: A gangster who dresses w/ chains and other gangster things, but not funny at all, spends all his videos talking about how fucking GIANT his dick is (but, of course we know how much of a lie that is!)

    Step 3: Make Every Video The Same

    1. Smile and wave at camera, ask "hey, what's up you guys?"
    2. Find a hawt sexy picture of some chick on Google
    3. Make a video about nothing
    4. Act like a cunt for 3 to 10 minutes
    5. Add a few childish penis/vagina jokes
    6. Look shocked every 10 seconds
    7. Upload to YouTube
    8. Change the thumbnail to the hawt chick
    9. ???
    10. Profit!

    Bonus points for having emo hair and dressing up in drag as your entire family. (P.S.: Acting like some ghetto nigger almost guarantees that the video will get on the top viewed of all time list)


    Step 4: Rip As Much Money From Your Fans as you Can

    In addition to being a YouTube partner, Shane also has the Shane Dawson t-shirt store was created.

    If you buy one of these t-shirts, you are not only a disgrace to mankind, but you are also a walking fucking advertisement. Most of them include genius catchphrases like "SHANANAY IS MY HOMEGURL" and the ShaneDawsonTV logo on the bottom. If you see somebody wearing one of these shirt, please rape and punch him in the face. If you are related to that person, also make sure to become an hero to redeem yourself.

    Update: His shirts, among other kewl merchandising, are available at Hot Topic now. If you want to become the ass clown of your school, be sure to get at least one of those shirts as long as they are available. This guy's doing it right:

    At least now nobody has to find an excuse for beating him up.

    Song Parodies

    Somehow Shane got the idea in his head that if you can think of something that rhymes with the title of a popular song, then turn that into an actual song parody and fill it with dick jokes and cross-dressing that it will be "LIEK THE FUNNIES THING IVE EVAR SEEN, GAIZ".

    Here are a few examples:

    Oh wow, he cross-dressed as his auntie and tried to get laid,[2] just like in every other fucking video he's ever made...

    Here he shits on Fred, which is like horse shit shitting on bull shit. Either way, it's all shit. Notice how he intends "he totally likes to suck cocks" to be funny.

    Worst failure to date

    Sometime in August 2009, Shane Dawson uploaded his worst excuse of a video (that means something) yet. Not long after, even YouTube (well known for sucking Shane's e-cock) gave Shane the middle finger by pulling that crap down. Some people rumored that Shane himself flagged the video with a sockpuppet account to gain more sympathy (big, bad bullies at YouTube go against the little guy), but sadly nothing can be proven.

    Here is the video for everyone who enjoys a nice, long facepalm:

    TheStation

    In July 2009 Shane Dawson, sXePhil, Lisa Nova, KassemG, Shaytards and DaveDays among other "comedians" created a new channel called "TheStation". It should have been a channel where they make collaboration videos, but what can you expect from a group of unfunny comedians? As you could already guess, they all perform the principles of YouTube-whoring. All in all, it's an awful YouTube group channel, there's not much else to say other than it's an orgy of unfunny.

    Wars with the YTwatchdog and TheArchfiend

    These two brave men fought for justice, peace, America, lulz, and the YouTube way!

    Shane Dawson hate videos are very common. The YTwatchdog was the first man to call Shane on his bullshit. The ensuing fight brought much epic lulz to us who enjoyed the YTwatchdog. Shane Dawson decided to get revenge on the YTwatchdog, so he used his Twitter to send the faggots that are his fans raging after YTwatchdog. He also posted a video on YouTube about his so-called "hate" video. He got YTwatchdog's video flagged by his fangirls, which resulted in the suspension of the YTWatchdog. The lulzdog came back in a few months with a new attack. This time, Shane only talked about it on Twitter before giving up.

    TheArchfiend is your typical Eagles fan on YouTube and also a YTWatchdog fanboy. He decided to do something useful for once and stopped bitching about the Cowboys beating the Eagles in the 2009-10 playoffs just long enough to attack Shane Dawson. He ending up being banned and blocked from his YouTube channel all in a matter of 2 minutes.

    As of March 29, The Archfiend intentionally made it seem like he was no longer making videos to make Shane fanboys jizz in their pants, however turns out he was only moving to a different home. (Get it, "I swear on the life of my family that I'll never turn on my camera and make another video in this room again"? )

    Note: As of July 8th 2010 the Archfiend is suspended from YouTube due to bogus copyright claims. But as of July 17th 2010 his account isn't suspended anymore.


    Third channel

    In April 2010 Shane decided that he didn't have enough shitty videos, so he made another channel dedicated to random shit he pulls out of his ass. All of these videos are filmed with his iPhone, which "is known for its awesome recording quality". Basically, because he's trying to be 'authentic' and 'honest' he can skip the long and arduous editing progress and get maximum views with minimal effort.

    The Archfiend took some time off his busy schedule to translate Shane's video into proper English:

    This is a pretty average video from the third channel

    Shane's fans

    Shane Dawson's fans are some of the dumbest and most annoying pricks in the Internet. They will defend their hero, no matter what and fail miserably at it, no matter what. In addition they can't write like decent human beings.

    Here a few samples of what you can (or cannot) expect from them:

       
     
    You guys are being so disrespectful! You dirty jellyfish molesters! >:L You guys have no sympathy for life and you are just being bullys and need to Shut the FUCK up Already
     

     
     

    —mika15ful

       
     
    @MegaRAEG You stupid Jellyfish Molesting whore! You can SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SO CAN @TheGrandmaDawson2 AND @Auntdawson YOU GUYS ARE JUST A PUNCH OF STUPID LIFELESS JERKS THAT NEED TO FUCK OFF AND JUST LEAVE SHANE ALONE! STUPID ASSHOLE!! YOUR SO DISRESPECTFUL!
     

     
     

    —mika15ful... showing the full extent of her tard rage.

       
     
    what is it wereing on its head? is it going to go and pick rice?
     

     
     

    —lorikat1

       
     
    LOL ur a legend u have a 14in penis
     

     
     

    —yunalover17

       
     
    Wow your a fucking dumb ass loser
     

     
     

    —thecreatiiveone

       
     
    You are just saying all of these things because you are just really hate Shane Dawson because he has over 1,000,000 subscribers and you think that he is a faggot but actually has good videos and he just wants loads of people to see his videos because he is an actor. What's wrong with that?
     

     
     

    —thecreatiiveone

       
     
    your a asshole dont insalt pepole that are bigger then you on youtube mother fucker
     

     
     

    —zuneley

       
     
    U r just jealous.
     

     
     

    —ConsiderMeGuru

       
     
    "look u a gay as mother fucker with no heart and no taste"
     

     
     

    —Said by a "genius" Shane Dawson fan protecting his hero.

    Shane is JEALOUS! "The Lost Episode"

    Jennette McCurdy and WHATTHEBUCK had a drama when Jennette McCurdy stopped following him (WTB) on Twitter because he was cussing too much and she did not want her fans (who are young kids) to see that. Shane became butthurt and made a vlog bitching and complaining about how celebrities think they are better than everyone else. He has since deleted it, because he is supposedly in the process of getting a show on Nickelodeon.


    Shane broke up with his boyfriend

    Apparently Shane broke up with his buttbuddy and wants everybody to believe he's not gay now or some shit, might have also to do with his Nickelodeon shit that he doesn't want people to know he's a faggot anymore.

    Because as we all know, Shane needs money and fanboy jizz like a diabetes patient needs his insulin.

    Documentaries

    Shane Dawson has released a few "documentaries" about JewTubers. Here are examples of some of the shit he has made:

    Sexne Dawson

    Shane saw tons of SJWs trying to cancel Jenna Marbles, and decided to mass delete old videos on his channel. Eventually people found some lulzy material of Shane Dawson in unseen footage of him with kids. Here's the clips.

    Then in June 26, 2020 Shane made a shitty apology video to get away from the a knock from his door.

    Sometime around June 2020 the Smiths went and attacked him. Jayden screamed after seeing how much of a sick-fuck Shane is, and Jada Smith slammed Shane on Twitter.

    In July 23, 2020 liberal faggot dangelowallace posted a scathing movie titled "The exact moment Shane Dawson's career ended: 12:37 PM, 06/30/20." about how Shane Dawson is a turd: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2WBythSGoQ. As of August 11, 2020 the video has 9,454,000+ views. The video boils down to:

    • Shane made edgy content in the past; this caused snowflake babies to cry.
    • Shane has a fake JewTuber personality to mask the fact that he is secretly a horrible person, so his pathetic apology videos mean nothing.
    • Shane excused Jeffree Star's racial jokes or something.
    • It's 2020, so jokes aren't funny. Categorically, this means that Shane's blackface videos or his videos which had black characters are bad because of racism.
    • Shane posted many images where he sexualized his pets, and he kissed his dog or cat in videos. Dawson also allegedly raped his cat.[3][4][5] Because Shane playfully licked/kissed his dog on the mouth like some cringy dog owner this means that he is into bestiality and probably fucked his dog in the ass. This means that he is a bad animal sexual abuser.
    • As an adult, Shane: talked about how 6-year-old girls are sexy, kissed a 12-year-old girl on the mouth, swapped gum with a 15-year-old girl, tried to give a blowjob to Fred when he was 15, and asked a little girl on Omegle to twerk and take off her clothes. While both 12- and 15-year-old literally asked for it, some argue that Shane is a child molester because children and teens are retards who don't really believe what they say they think or lack real justification for what they think or want.
    • Due to being abused as a kid, Shane wants to continue the cycle of abuse and jerk off to little nigger children.
    • Shane's afraid of the cops and Chris E. Hansen busting his door down, stealing his CP, and sending him to prison.
    • Dawson sexualized children in videos and sexualized a hand puppet doll character of a minor girl who was sexually abused. Because of this trend and Shane's mainly child/teen audience, kids were more likely to get groomed. Due to Shane's child grooming subliminal messages, anytime a loli meets Shane IRL she'll rub her little titties in Shane's face at the command of Shane (see the previous bullet point).

    See Also

    External Links

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