Republicans, also known as God's buzz kills are the true Americans, doing God's work on earth by following the one true word of God, the Bible, on a holy crusade against the Satanic communist doctrines of the constitution. Republicans are perhaps most famous for inventing butthurt and worshiping Ronald Reagan's small penis.
The Republican Party was founded by Abraham Lincoln over 100 years ago, as he lay on the floor of a legal office in Springfield, Illinois, eavesdropping on the court proceedings going on below. This strategy continued to play a major role in Republican Party intelligence gathering until the fall of Richard Nixon in 1974. After the party realized that being sane and rational wasn't the way to win elections they began to suck the dicks of every Christfag they could find until their retarded homo God Ronald Reagan delivered them all from evil. Today they are best known for being the chosen party of alt-righters, closet queens, the man, NASCAR fans, the one percent, and those fucks from "Info"Wars.
If you are looking to thank someone for leading the way on such financial disasters as the war on drugs and the war on terror, look no further than the Republican party. Their messiah, Ronald Reagan and his disciples George Bush, Dick Cheney and others, fight for the common man by lowering taxes, primarily for the aristocratic gods of capitalism, who, with proper sacrifice on the part of the people, bless us with jobs at Wal-Mart, where we may sell Chinese goods like fireworks, guns, Nascar merchandise, bibles and flags.
Rather than inhabiting the sinful coastal cities, Republicans live in middle America, the heartland of consumerism, the home of the American Dream. These areas are often called "fly-over" regions, and rightfully so; terrorists mainly target the coastal areas which are filled with atheists and gays. The truth is we are only at war with terrorists because they technically attacked America, and like all good real Americans we must defend our borders, regardless of how much of a favor they were doing us.
Since MySpace is a place of liberals, there aren't that many Republicans at all. Therefore, they are the whiners of MySpace. They usually whine about how the liberals whine all the time. They also bitch about how liberals control MySpace and their freedom of speech.
Then, there is this unfunny nigger: Super Slave. Here, he blames atheists and agnostics for the increase of violence in the US: TL;DW Attack him if you wish, but be careful. He considers his views to be the best in the world. If you counter his points, he will attack you and block you on sight!
List of Gay Republicans
The Republican party is widely known to contain many of America's closet homosexuals. They also have an organization called GOProud that think that the Republicans like them because of their wordplay name. they are unaware or too fucking retarded to understand that all other straight Republicans hate them.
- Roy Ashburn Republican State Senator for the 18th district (Kern/Tulare counties). A hard-line anti-gay voter. Whooping it up with Latin Night at Faces in Sacramento, coming home drunk with a dude. Oh My.
- Alan The Panda (See video below)
- Patrick McHenry
- Duke Otterland
- Sema JayHawk
- Matt Gaetz
- America's Third Party
- Liz Mair
- InSaNe-REYNARD -A furry republican.
- CigarSkunk - (See "Insane Reynard" above)
- Norm Coleman
- Larry "Wide Stance" Craig
- Mark Foley
- Gov. Charlie Crist
- Rep. David Dreier
- Ed Schrock
- Jim McCrery
- Ed Koch
- Shepard Smith (ironically, this faggot promotes the conservative, anti-gay agenda of Faux News)
- Ken Mehlman
Prostitution, Adultery, and other pastimes
Real Christian values alright.
The Glorious Leader of the Republicunt Party
Joe Wilson, the Republican representative from South Carolina who served as an aide for segregationist governor Strom Thurmond, showed his respect, decorum, and maturity when he yelled "YOU LIE!" during President Obama's speech to clear up misconceptions about recent healthcare reform plans. Wilson was hailed as a hero by fat conservative child molesters who failed to make the connection that Wilson was also in congress when President Shit For Brains told America that Saddam Hussein knocked down the World Trade Center. Republicans hate liars. Unless of course the liar is a Republican. Shortly after, the usual uproar began on the internets and resulted in the assrape of Wilson's career as well as upwards of $250,000 being donated to replace him with Democratic congressman Rob Miller in 2010.
Kanye West, the rapper, known Republican, and 2020 USA Presidential Candidate was outraged that Obama would suggest that his healthcare was better than Beyonce.
- Abraham Lincoln was the Republican who pretended to care about black people. He claimed the civil war was to help black people, but he actually wanted to ship them all back to Africa and Central America for the lulz.
- Republicans hate niggers because dem coons are always feeling entitled. Republicans NEVER feel entitled. Except of course to guns, religion in government, lower taxes, NASCAR coverage on ESPN, shit from China, and child porn. But really, who's keeping score?
- Republicans are very good at feeling threatened. If there are 99 Republicans in a room and one Democrat, some fag will still find a way to bitch about "liberal bias."
- Republicans enjoy railing against the "mainstream media" while at the same time bragging that Fox news is the highest rated cable news channel, which of course would make it the very definition of mainstream media. Did we mention the word irony doesn't appear in any Republican's vocabulary?
- Republicans make fun of Democrats and libtards because of their ties to Hollywood celebrities, and yet Republicans are the only ones who actually elect celebrities to office i.e. Ahh-nold, Wonnie Waygun, Sonny Bono, and Freddie Thompson. They also cream their pants any time a random D-list celebrity comes out as a Republican.
- All AOL users are Republicans. Typical comments on AOL news stories include the word nigger and commie at least five times. An AOL poll prior to the 2008 presidential election showed that John McCain would win all 50 states. The reason for this is that no one under the age of 70 with a brain would continue to use a shitty service like AOL.
- If you encounter a random douchebag on the street, chances are they are a Republican, especially if they are a Christfag. The GOP actually invented douchebaggery, and continues to perfect the art to this day.
- Contrary to popular belief Republicans and Democrats are not opposites. The only real difference is, while Republicans are evil, Democrats are spineless politically correct douchebags. In fact, the only reason anyone votes for Democrats is because the Republicans are so terribly retarded, they can't stomache them winning.
- Republicans are big bullies threatened by mice.
- The louder a conservative talk show radio host yells, the more right he is! Fuck niggers, hippies, atheists, Jews, Muslims, Teddy Bears, France and Obama!
- The Republicans' new motto is: "God said it, therefore I must follow it!"
- Computer savvy people hate Republicans, because they are jealous of all the hot young ass they be gettin'. No, no, I'm kidding. They hate them because Jew tells them to.
How to troll a Republican
- Praise Allah.
- Remind them how Bill Clinton created a national surplus as president while getting blown at the same time.
- Remind them that if they had voted for John Kerry in 2004 instead of W, Barack Hussein Obama wouldn't be president right now.
- Remind them that for their time, the Founding Fathers, the original Republicans and the Tea Party were freeloading, socialist, left-wing hippies.
- Also remind them that the Founding Fathers were not actually Christian, but Deist, and founded Murica explicitly on the basis of it being a secular nation. WHICH MEANS NO JESUS.
- Tell them church is for fags.
- Tell them that by world standards, Obama is actually pretty conservative.
- Have any sort of fun (this is the worst thing you can do around a Republican).
- Ask them what the difference is between young libtards worshipping Obama and old GOP fucks worshipping Reagan. Bonus points if the word "nigger" appears in their argument. Wait no, that's too easy.
- Tell them the 1950's really blew ass.
- Tell them red states = commie states.
- Mention any sort of "new fangled" technology.
- Tell them you're pretty sure John Wayne loved the cock.
- Tell them you're going to vote for
Obama in 2012Bernie Sanders in 2016 because of his charming smile.
- Tell them how much country music fucking blows.
- Tell them NASCAR isn't a sport.
- Remind them that all their witty spins on words (Obambi, Keith Overbite, MSLSD, Democrap, Obongo Bongo) aren't funny and never were.
- Listen to good music.
- Remind them that by voting for Romney over Obama they are actually electing the country's first non-Christian president. Stand back as their head explodes.
- Mention that Ronald Reagan wasn't really all that conservative.
- Say that you aren't sure if you want to perform oral sex on Ronald Reagan.
- Use big words. This makes them almost as mad as gay marriage.
- Abort a baby. Bonus points if you name it first.
- Have an IQ above 49.
- Tell them you're puzzled why they vote for a party that doesn't serve their interests. Bonus points if some bullshit about "Good Christian Values" comes out of their mouths.
- Read a book not written by a talk radio host.
- In a casual conversation, bring up the fact that Jesus was actually a libtard hippie.
- Donate to the poor.
- Tell them you prefer not living in a rural shithole.
- Say that since their last shitty president got two terms, maybe Obama should too. It's only fair.
- Bang a black chick.
- Tell them camping is boring.
- Tell them you love trees.
- Tell them hunting is cruel.
- Say that several men going off in the woods dressed in costumes (hunting) sounds suspicious
- Hate Obama for any other reason other than being a negro.
- Wear any clothing article without army camouflage or an American flag on it.
- Tell them you aren't going into the army.
- Tell them that Coors Light is the worst beverage ever conceived by mankind.
- Say that your girl wears clothes above her ankles.
- Tell them how great Canada is.
- Call hiking boots ghey.
- Talk about what an SOB George W Bush was.
- Talk about how the Confederacy lost the Civil War.
- Tell them they should have been aborted.
- Tell them how their church is stupid, and they should follow Allah instead.
Gallery of Republicunts
- Liberal Party of Australia -Equal to the republican party of the US.
- Sick fuck
- Mark Foley
- Japanese little boy porn that Mark Foley gets off to.
- Fox News
- I am an American conservative shitheel -This could be used to potentially troll.
- Ian Schwartz
- Asinine American
- The Donald
- GOP Official homepage
- The GOP's crowded closet
- - morality starts here
- Internet Republican.
- Dead Internet Republican
- Psycho Liberal With a Crushed Spine and Irrational Hatred of Republicans
- Digital Economy: For additional information on the digital economy
Shelly the Republican A prime example of a right-wing hypocricunt
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