Raven

Raven Adler is a posturing female whitehat hacker. She had her laptop running OS X taken over at Schmoocon, and pushed forward whitehat vulnerability assessment state-of-the-art by several years when she announced "Zero day can happen to anyone"

Raven's 10 Minutes of Fame

Raven earned the attention of retards around the world when she came to the conclusion that her shoddy job of securing her laptop at a convention infested with ex-hackers was somehow Apple's fault. Through endlessly circular logic she deduced that the reason that her laptop was hacked was that "zero day can happen to anyone," not that she was too retarded to make sure that her shit was actually secure.

It turns out Raven lent her laptop to her boyfriend only to have it destroyed mere minutes later by an elite hacker who managed to somehow wander into the convention. When she complained to Apple about the security flaw, she was apparently laughed off the phone by the person on the other end. Now butthurt she complained to the internet and was thoroughly ignored:

	“	I didn't go public with it because I wanted a smoking gun first. Security is very much a 'show me' industry, and I didn't want to make claims that I couldn't substantiate. I did approach Apple, and they pretty much blew me off. I sent them a detailed event report, offered up my system for forensic analysis, and offered to help in any way I could. They went to the press, gave a reporter my name (I had not gone to the press) and dished some crap about how I let my boyfriend use my computer and he probably did something to disable my firewall and cause it to auto-own itself or something. Dude. My boyfriend does not have admin permissions on my machine, for starters. Way to help, Apple.	„
	—Raven

	“	brb, soup.	„
	—Apple's response

WTF is Zero Day?

The concept of Zero Day goes all the way back to the beginning of software development. The theory is that evil "black hat" hackers with access to unreleased software can find exploits before the release date, and can then magically bring torrents of ruination upon the heads of the unsuspecting public. Normal people avoid this by:

1. Avoiding betatests at all costs
2. Waiting for corporations to iron out all the bugs before updating.
3. Using common sense.

It's interesting to note that using the "zero day" argument is a good excuse for those too lazy to properly secure their systems. GOBBLES pointed this out to Raven at SchmooCon, much to the entertainment of people who find this sort of stuff interesting.

Raven's Famed "I'm a Total Fucktard" Speech

Links

• Raven co-authored a book about identity theft. It's as useless as it is unreadable. Buy it today!

See Also

• 0-day
• Defcon
• GOBBLES
• Teen Titans