⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️

There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.

Æ Roadmap

  • Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically)
  • Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
  • Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
  • Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
  • .onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
  • CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
  • Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
  • Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)

  • Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.

    If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.

    You can also email me via [email protected]

    Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.

    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot


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    Add pixplzkthnx to Programming
    Plz to be adding some pix now kthnx. Consult the image selection process for help, or just google up some pix.
    Plz remove this notice once there are plenty of pix.

    Programming is a form of magick practised by nerds and hackers. It is just sequence, decision, and repetition

    On Control Structures Used By Programmers

    Windows Control Structures

    One control structure used by programmers, particularly Microsoft is a sort of brain sucking device. This device makes it impossible for users to use any products but Windows and makes them incapable of using more sensible operating systems such as Linux. This brain sucking device is linked to the hard drives and to maintain control, the arm reading the disks simply detaches itself from the disks and extends to assault the mind of the user via the ear. This however, means that the arm is not reading from the disks and causes the dreaded Blue Screen. Bill Gates for the most part is immune to the effects of the arm, but rebellious programmers in his basement have been known to temporarily disable his immunity, hence why he was once subject to the effects of Blue Screen during a presentation. The mechanical arm is never noticed by onlookers because its extension causes it to become thinner and thinner as it reaches, making it microns thick and invisible to the naked eye. In its early days, it was a little thicker, causing damage to the ears and this is why the elderly have deteriorated hearing. Not using Microsoft allows the brain to regenerate slightly but long use of it may make the damage permanent.

    Mac Control Structures

    A control structure used by programmers of Macs is propaganda. If it weren't for the fact that they stole Microsoft's brain sucking device, calling it Boot Camp (Proving the anti-gay stance of Macintosh) and they get viruses less often, they would not have any users. Mac propaganda is why people think they get less viruses. The actual reason Macs get less viruses is that no-one could be bothered to make viruses for them and even if they did, they probably wouldn't work because Macs can't run anything. The reason hackers cannot be bothered to make viruses for Macs is because so few people have them and they'd much rather spend their time looking up strange pictures using Google. Mac users are crazy. They can be easily recognized by the small Apple logo on their left palms. If encountered, by no means steer them to the edge of the room. If placed near the edge of the room, ensure that you are in an underground cement bunker as the mere mention, let alone sight of windows are likely to cause them to froth at the mouth and throw mutated, half bitten apples through them.

    Lunix Control Structures

    A control structure almost exclusively used by Linux programmers is binary hypnotism. Binary hypnotism is the use of ones and zeroes to make some sort of sense. Linux users actually believe this makes sense as the penguin tells them so. Binary hypnotism works on Greater Windows and Mac users as well, but this soon converts them to the ways of Linux. Linux users, once hypnotized, require a daily dose of monitor rays that is first filtered through the Mother Linux. The Mother Linux is a pregnant penguin and the mother of all Minor penguins that hypnotise Linux users. She is a matriarch bent on controlling the world but has the one obstacle of being only able to speak in binary, meaning that the minor penguins, who speak decimal as well, can translate and attempt to make user manuals for businesses and user friendly Linux products. They haven't succeeded yet. The Mother Linux, however is using those hypnotized by the penguins but yet again is stopped by the fact that those that are hypnotized don't talk to real people anyway. This is why penguins still live in Antarctica.

    Quick note on Linux users

    Linux user base is known to consist of poor white people who eat fried peas and listen to Nickleback (some have taken to newer musical trends, such as the songs Nyan Cat and "The Real Linux Torvalds"). If a male who does not use vim (or Sublime 2) as his primary text editor is encountered you will have a hell of a time keeping your dick dry as the faggy linux user tries to wrestle your PicRD out of your jeans and into his curry smelling mouth. (Linux user blowjobs burn because they all smoke newport cigarettes which makes their saliva acidic)

    Straight Linux Users

    Straight Linux users consist of all that use vim; gedit is for pussies.

    Female Linux Users

    Female Linux users are most commonly seen as a result of severe drug abuse by male Linux users. The "Linux user" species maintains a low population due to a very unbalanced male to female ratio.

    Straight Female Linux Users

    This takes "severe drug abuse" to an entire new level. If you see a Straight Female Linux user, you should ask yourself the following questions to ensure you are not severely intoxicated:

    • Does the sighting have any physical defects?
    • Does the sighting only use Linux as result of Linux user parents?
    • Does the sighting still use MSN / Windows Live?

    If you answered no to any of these, you should contact your doctor immediately.

    How to represent these control structures in psuedocode


    If User has Brain THEN
    ACTIVATE Drive.
    Brain = Brain - 1


    BEGIN? We don't know! At least this stuff works.
    Yes I know there's nothing there, but it works.
    I have a plan! Let's take what doesn't work, and try to make it work. Bad idea.


    1010101                               'Mother Penguin Roar
    10101                               'Distribution of monitor rays
    101010101010                         'Check if anything makes sense, which it doesn't.


    //Both people are represented by an abstract class
    public abstract class Person
      public bool StrangersToLove { get; set; }
      public bool KnowTheRules { get; set; }
    //Rick Astley's possible thoughts
    public enum Thought
    //Rick class 
    public sealed class Me : Person
      public Thought Thinking()
        return Thought.FullCommitment;
    //The target of Rick's song, notice that GetThought() can only be called by passing in an instance of Rick
    //which satisfies that she can't get this from any other guy
    public class You : Person
      private Thought whatHeIsThinking;
      public void GetThought(Me guy)
       whatHeIsThinking = guy.Thinking();
    class Program
      //The first verse
      static void Main(string[] args)
        var Rick = new Me() { KnowTheRules = true, StrangersToLove = false };
        var Girl = new You() { KnowTheRules = true, StrangersToLove = false };

    As we can see, Windows removes your brain, Mac addles it then removes it, Linux controls it, and Interbutts owns it. Computers are lovely things really.

    External links


    Programming is part of a series on Programming.

    [2 L337 4 MEEnter the Matrix]