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My sweet angel wouldn't hurt a fly!

Pitbull Terriers are a race of dog known for their violent nature and disproportionate amount of attacks relative to their percentage of the population. Pitbulls frequently inhabit poor, urban areas and can typically be found mauling other dogs and small children. The pitbull coddling media will leave out the race of the dog when reporting attacks as to not encourage stigmatization of the breed. An average pitbull diet consists of the faces and limbs of toddlers. Despite making up less than 2% of the American dog population, pitbulls are responsible for over 50% of all attacks on humans, even when factors such as education, upbringing, and financial situation are taken into account. Pit lovers will typically blame violent upbringings or socioeconomic factors in order to excuse the evil nature of the breed. President George W. Bush has categorically stated that the Pitbull Terrier is a dog of peace.

Physical appearance and behavior

File:Pitbull cute.jpg
Typical pitbull appearance

Pitbulls are the result of mixing bulldogs and terriers together, creating a racemixed monster that would terrorize man for decades to come. Pitbulls were quite literally bred to kill as they were originally bred for dogfighting, which explains their ingrained violent nature. Shitbulls have short snouts, small, muscular bodies, and pointed ears. Their bite strength is around 250 PSI, which is more than enough to crush a toddler's head.

Pit Bull Owners


Even dogs get more pussy than you

Pitmommies are a type of pit bull lover, and are of similar pedigree to the dog themselves. Your typical Pitmommy has a large number of tattoos, short and dyed hair, multiple mixed race children and an addiction to crack. Pitmommies love nothing more than to bend over and let their disgusting mutt ram their worn out, unwashed, misshapen vagina (which is arguably better than defiling their loins with the usual). Some Pitmommies use the shitbull entirely for sexual reasons because they are so ugly that no man would ever want to fuck them, not even blacks. Typically, shitmommies don't believe in leashes, so they allow their mongrels to roam free around parks, terrorizing every living creature within a two mile radius.

Ethnic minorities

Owning a pitbull is seen as a status symbol among many minorities (niggers and spics). The aggressive and hostile nature of pitbulls make the breed well suited for tasks such as guarding crack dens, drug stashes, intimidating rival gangbangers, and distracting the police long enough to make a getaway. An easy way to tell if the pitbull is owned by a minority is to look at the collar and eyes of the dog. Is the collar spiked? Is it just an old rusty chain? Do the dog's eyes look like it's been starved because food stamps don't cover dog food? If you answered yes to any one of these questions, the pitbull likely belongs to a minority.

Unsuspecting Families

Pitbull rescue agencies are adept at concealing the true nature of pit bulls and seek to have families with small children adopt them into their homes. What appears to be an innocent puppy at the pound turns out to be a ticking time-bomb waiting to explode in the face of a toddler with no warning. Even more disturbing is that these families are often incredibly delusional about their dogs and will insist they are "sweeties" as they pull back on the leash, barely keeping the dog from charging you.

File:Pitbull good dog.jpg
She's a good girl

Dog Fighters

Pitbulls are only good for one thing: killing. Naturally this leads to their use in blood sports where they fight other pit bulls. This is probably the only value anyone could possibly get out of pitmonsters, so their usage in blood sports should be legalized and encouraged. Pitbull fights are a great source of entertainment, and if you play your cards right there is money to be made as well. In order to prevent the pitbull from attacking you, it should be locked in a small cage until it is time for another fight. Be sure to feed it as little as possible so it does not get fat and inject it with plenty of steroids.


As mentioned above, It is a fact that pitbulls are the most violent race of dog on the planet and will attack any human or animal. If you search "pitbull" on Google, then click on "news" you will find countless stories of marauding pitbulls attacking innocents.


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See Also

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