⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️

There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.

Æ Roadmap

  • Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically)
  • Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
  • Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
  • Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
  • .onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
  • CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
  • Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
  • Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)

  • Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.

    If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.

    You can also email me via [email protected]

    Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.

    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot


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    Tomorrow, tomorrow, it's only a day awaaaayyy...
    Old publicity making fun of Perl
    File:Larry wall 2.jpg
    Larry and his human host

    Perl is a popular write-only programming language used mostly for tasks too complicated for shell scripts and CGI programming -- and after all, we can't have things too user-friendly, can we? It is the brain-child of the homosexual linguist Larry Wall who created it with the intention of diving for pearls. But then he discovered that diving for pearls is more of a lesbian activity. After shopping for a vagina on eBay, Larry was disheartened. He therefore decided to unleash his frustrations by creating a language that could only be written, but not read. Also, Perl trumps Ruby on Fails, lulz. Perl wins.

    Perl borrows features from a variety of other languages including C, shell scripting (sh), AWK, sed and Lisp. It's around as readable as MUMPS, which it shares a bunch of features with.

    Structurally, Perl is a brainfuck comparable to that of brainfuck.

    It is said that anything you might want to write can be done with CPAN and 40 lines of Perl code and that Perl is about a million times more concise than Java.

    Perl nerds (who call themselves "monks") are people who learn the highly intricate syntax to a point where they are actually able to read simplistic Perl code written by others. This, of course, is evidence that masturbation is alive and well.

    One of the most famous Perl enthusiasts is ghettofinger. A shadowy mastermind of drama masquerading as a simple internets user, ghettofinger employs Perl to continually power and make more efficient the drama gulag. This illustrates that Perl is the most evil and drama-producing thing on the internets today.

    The creator of Perl named it after the concept of The Pearl of Heaven, that the language is as beautiful as heaven itself. What do you think, is it as beautiful? Here's an example of a Perl program:

    (($h>>=8)+=$f+(~$g&$t))[email protected][128..$#a]}print+x"C*",@a}';s/x/pack+/g;eval

    Another example:

    $/=$_;$,=shift;$w=$a=shift;$k{+shift}=1;socket S,2,1,6;bind S,&a;for(listen
    S,5;$SIG{ALRM}=\&i;m! (\S+) ([e-i])([^/]*)/!s&&($k{$w=$1}=$,eq$`)&&&$2){alarm
    9;(accept(C,S),alarm 0)?read C,$_,1e6:($_="$, $a f".shift)}sub i{}sub t{socket
    C,2,1,6;$k{$w}&&=(connect C,&a)?print C"$, ".pop:0;close C}sub h{t"$_ i/"for
    keys%k}sub a{$w=~/:/;pack'CxnC4x8',2,$',split'\.',$`}sub f{$w=$_,t"$1 $3/"for
    keys%k}sub e{open C,'>',$3;print C $'}sub g{open(C,'<',$3)&&t"$a e$3/".<C>;&h}

    The above code is the smallest P2P program known to man, called Molester and supposedly pronounced "mole ster." This speaks volumes about the mindset of the average Perl user.

    How a Perl script is made


    How to get Perl

    Linux and BSD distros usually almost fucking always include Perl as a default package. Windows users should get strawberryperl and Macfags should get ActivePerl from the link below.


    1. Download the Strawberry Perl installer from here
    2. Run the program and follow the instructions
    3. Open Command prompt and run "perl -v", You should see "The is perl.." This means Perl is installed properly.


    On Ubuntu/Debian you can simply use the "apt-get" command

    sudo apt-get install perl 

    On Redhat/fedora

    sudo yum install perl 

    on suse

    sudo yast install perl 

    on Arch Linux

    sudo pacman -S perl 

    on Gentoo

    sudo emerge install perl 

    Manual Install

      i.  Download Perl 5.10.1 from : 
      ii. Remove the old Perl from the system before building
            # rm -rf /usr/lib/perl5
      p/s : you might want to back up your old install first.
            # mv /usr/lib/perl5 /root/perl5backup

    Installation :

      i.   # tar xvzf stable.tar.gz
      ii.  # cd perl-5.10.1
      iii. For more information , # ./Configure --help
           # ./Configure -de \
               -Dprefix=/usr \
               -Dcccdlflags='-fPIC' \
      iv.  # make
      v.   # make test
      vi.  # make install

    Post Installation :

      i.   # perl -MCPAN -e shell 
           Just Follow step by step. Use all the Default Answer.
      ii.  install Bundle::CPAN
      iii. install Bundle::LWP
      iv.  install Bundle::DBI
      v.   install DBD::mysql

    To test the install run.

    perl -v 


    GET -ed www.yahoo.com

    Learning Perl

    Though there are several books available to someone wanting to learn perl, O'Reilly's "Learning Perl" is widely considered to be the best book for newcomers to Perl.

    Getting Started

    Here is an awesome tutorial.

    Hello World

    A basic hello world example in perl.

     #This will print "Hello World!"
    print "Hello world!";

    The #!/usr/bin/perl tells the operating system where the perl interpreter is located on your computer. This will be ignored on windows, and isn't required for it, but it should be left in for *NIX users.

    The # denotes a comment in perl, comments are purely to make it easier for humans to understand what the code is (supposed to be) doing, this is probably one of the most useful features of perl due to it's brainfuck syntax, fucking use these!

    Then finally print, of course, prints the text which is in the quotes to the terminal.


    There are several different types of variables in perl denoted by different symbols these are scalar ($), arrays (@), hashes (%), subroutines (&), and typeglobals which use (*).


    Basically, scalars are what you could expect of a "variable" in perl, however, they can be anything, from integers to floats to strings to objects to scalars, etc.

    use strict; #Make sure we use proper coding conventions
     # Declaring a variable is easy, just use "my" the first time you use it, then use 
     # the equals sign to set it to whatever Number you want.
     # Perl automatically knows that this is an integer.  Fuck yeah.
    my $integer = 1 ; 
     # print can take and print multiple arguments separated by a comma. The first argument is our integer to be printed
     # The second argument is an escaped newline (which prints a "new line", how novel.) 
     # An actual newline shouldn't be used since it would shift your code down a line (obviously)
    print $integer, "\n";
     # you can also use a different syntax for print:
    print ($integer, "\n"); #it works the exact same way as the other one, it's a matter of style.
     # and don't forget the \n at the end of a line when using print.
     # Declaring a float (essentially an integer with more precision, a decimal place!) is the same
    my $float = 3.9 ;
     # you can use comments wherever you want in your code, but make sure not to put
     # any comments in front of your code, since you can't close them
     # like this #print $float, "\n";
     # as comments only end at the end of the line in perl
     # you can also put comments at the end of a line
    print "penis\n"; #like this
     # declaring a string is simple. if you don't need to use any escaped characters like \n
     # you can just put it in single quotes like so:
    my $string = 'loldongs';
     # this makes the string "literal", i.e. any variable names or special characters (like \n) are not parsed into their "normal" meanings
     # otherwise you put it in double quotes, like this:
    my $otherString = "lol\ndongs";
     # you can also put a variable in a double quoted string to put its value in it, like this:
    my $yetAnotherString = "$float $string"; #which is the same as "3.9 loldongs"
    my $areWeDone = "All Done With Scalars!\n";
    print $areWeDone; #yes we are


    You can use modules in your programs like so.

    use Module::Name;

    Modules are great because they allow you to simply download shit from CPAN (The Central Penis Archive Network). You can download them, then include them with use and make scripts with much less effort. Much like rule 34, if it exists, there's a module on CPAN.


    Perl has many benefits over PHP as a CGI scripting language for the proficient programmer, it's faster and takes less resources. The downside is that it isn't as newfag programmer friendly, and not as easy to run on non-unix boxes. Not that anyone in their right mind would that though.

    Even ruby on fails (perl with training wheels for web) runs huge websites you aren't tempted to give a shit about.

    If efficiency is your goal in a CGI script, perl is probably the language to code said shit in.


    use strict;

    Using Strict makes catching errors easier, in many ways. Under strict, you are forced to declare all of your variables with the word my and failing to do so will result in an error. Strict also restricts you from using any symbolic references. If you don't use strict, then chances are that you suck at programming. Even moreso than Alan Turing sucks dicks (but at least he could program, you sad sack of shit).

    External links


    Perl is part of a series on Programming.

    [2 L337 4 MEEnter the Matrix]

    Featured article January 7, 2006
    Preceded by
    Perl Succeeded by