⚠️ Final stages: EDiting to re-open shortly ⚠️

Æ Roadmap

  • Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically)
  • Image restoration (Somehow still going? You can check statistics for more information)
  • Æ Imageboard (Delayed, work to be resumed at a later date)
  • Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
  • .onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
  • CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
  • Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
  • Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)
  • If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.

    You can also email me via [email protected]

    Merch Status: Merch is in. Waiting for USPS envelopes to mail out.



    Pat Robertson

    From Encyclopedia Dramatica
    Jump to navigation Jump to search
    File:Batshit-pat.jpg
    Pat denies the obvious truth that Hitler and his inner circle were Christians. He mad.
    File:Patrock.jpg
    Pat Robertson is Fucking Metal!
    The Prophet Pat Robertson. Notice the many traits indicating Fetal Alcohol Syndrome; the Injun-like nose, smooth philtrum and thin upper lip.
    File:Mad Magazine.jpg
    A young Pat Robertson.

    Pat Robertson (not to be confused with Rob Pattinson) is a politically motivated, batshit insane evangelical preacher who who runs the Cock and Ball Network (CBN) to cater to the secret gay needs of Christians everywhere. His main form of eroticism involves doomsday preaching and how everyone is fucked unless they accept Jesus into their hearts and pray really hard.

    Pat has been known to troll the media by making rather lulzy comments such as saying God gave Israeli leader Jew a stroke for giving Israeli controlled land to Palestinians, and that he caused hurricane Gloria to change course and not hit the CBN headquarters through his prayer.

    AIDS and Hitler

    Pat Robertson, much like God, hates fags. In fact, he hates them so much that he believes that AIDS is conspiring with gay people to help support the gay agenda by killing them. SRSLY you can't make this shit up.

    He said: "Many observers say that AIDS is the hammer and gun of the homosexual movement, an effective vehicle to propel the homosexual agenda throughout every phase of our society."

    This agenda of GRIDS, fags, and automobiles is propelled by the Jewish Media Conspiracy, who are known to be sympathetic to gays, niggers, and gay-niggers. This is ironic, as Robertson also believes that Hitler and his followers were gay Satanists, stating:

    "Many of those people involved with Adolf Hitler were Satanists, many of them were homosexuals -- the two things seem to go together."

    File:Patfinger.jpg
    Pat Robertson hates you

    God Whisperer

    At the end of each year Robertson retreats to seclusion in order to have a private little chat with God. During this intimate time Robertson, using all the tools at his disposal, is somehow able to induce God into telling him what is going to happen during the next year. Robertson then gleefully announces to the media what God had to say. Unknown to Robertson however, is that because God is omniscient he already knew about Robertson's plans and gave him fake information for the lulz. Realizing that he has been trolled, Robertson tries to save face by saying "I have a good track record" but "sometimes I miss."

    Some of God's other lies have included:

    ZOMG SOCIALISM NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!11!1

    Pat has had his yearly nuptials with God and has come back with some startling news. In 2009 the American people will embrace socialism to "ease the pain." Also the economy will rebound under Obama. So, apparently socialism is EVIL, but will revive the economy. But it's still EVIL. wat. God was really trolling on this one. See the article here.

    Pat Robertson and Hæti

    In the immediate aftermath of the Great Haitian Earthquake of 2010 where thousands of Haitians were feared dead, Pat Robertson single handedly solved the mystery behind the disaster:

    Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French, you know, Napoleon III and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the Devil. They said we will serve you if you will get us free from the French. True story. And so the devil said Ok its a deal, and they kicked the French out, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free. But ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other, desperately poor.

    He obviously missed the part about Voodoo being a syncretic religion, where African gods were paired with Catholic saints and thus not evil or devils.

    Fans of Pat Robertson

    See Also

    • Hæti - Lulzy quotes on this topic

    External Links


    Pat Robertson
    is part of a series on
    Christianity
    Badass jesus.jpg
    Blessed by God [-+]
    Beliefs, Events, Traditions and Other Drama [-+]
    Pissing Off the Almighty [-+]
    Heathens [-+]
    Pat Robertson
    is part of a series on Politics.
    Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]

    Alt-rightAnarchyCapitalismCentrismCommunismConservatismDemocratHippieLiberalismLibertarianismMiltopismNaziNihilismNeo-conPacifismRepublicanReconquistaSocialismStoner GuruTory

    Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

    AbortionArab SpringBahrainBarron TrumpBirthCISPADeath penaltyDrugsEnvironmentalismGaysGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleGirlfriendsMarijuana AddictionGround Zero MosqueMarijuana AddictionMass ShootingGun controlGunsHealthcare (2) (3)• HomelessHousing CrisisHuntingIceslaveIranMarriageMiller TestMiltopiaNAUPimpin'RacismShoesTaxesTerrorismUnemploymentWarWelfare

    Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

    AhmadinejadAkinB.AllenG. AllenAngleAshburnBachmannBhuttoBin LadenBlagojevichBlairBoehnerG.BrownS.BrownBunningJim TraficantDubya BushGeorge H. W. BushBurrByrdCainCameronChavezCheCheneyChomskyChretienChurchillClintonClinton IIChelsea Clinton Hillary Clinton CleggCohenColemanCorbynCowgerCraigCthulhuCunninghamCurtisD'AlemaDeanDelayDuterteDwyerEdwardsFaganFiorinaFoleyGerald FordRob FordGellerGillardGingrichGiulianiGonzalesGoreGrahamGravelGreeneGriffinHagueHansonHardingHarperHitlerHowardHuckabeeHusseinJacksonJamesJidetteJohnsonJohnson, BorisKennedyLaRoucheLBJLottKerryKindKissingerKucinichLewinskyLiebermanLimbaughLoughnerMajorMarceaux.comMarxMcBerryMcCainMcHenryMcKinneyMercerMichael BloombergMooreMorocco MoleMussoliniNaderNixonObamaO'DonnellOsbornePainePaladinoPalinPaulPelosiPencePerryPinochetPrittPutinQuahQuayleRasanskyReaganRendellRiceRobertsonRomneyRoveRuddRumsfeldRyanSaakashviliSandersSantorumSchumerSchwarzeneggerSharptonCyril SmithJacqui SmithSpitzerStevensStranahanSupremeTaitzThatcherThompsonThorleyTPMMuckraker MoleTrudeauTrumpVenturaVitterWarsiWashingtonWaxmanWeinerWestWilliamsWilsonWolfowitzXXenophon

    Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

    America's Third PartyBlack BlocDramacratic PartyHard PartyLemon PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaNorth American DONG PartyOBAMACORNSocialist Workers PartyPirate PartyZapatistas

    Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

    2013 US Government ShutdownBlaming ChinaCaptain Nigga DefendaCloward Piven StrategyCuckservativesDemockeryDoomsday ClockG20 Toronto LollercaustLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberal guiltMacaca#NotMySuperbowlChampsOccupy DemocratsOperation LemonpartyRaped StatisticsThe ResistanceUpworthyWunderground

    See also: 2012 Elections2016 Presidential ElectionsInternet PoliticsPizzaGatePolitical communities

    Portal truth.png

    Pat Robertson is part of a series on

    Truth

    Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.