⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️

There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.

Æ Roadmap

  • Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically)
  • Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
  • Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
  • Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
  • .onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
  • CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
  • Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
  • Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)

  • Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.

    If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.

    You can also email me via [email protected]

    Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.

    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot



    Olsen Twins

    From Encyclopedia Dramatica
    Jump to navigation Jump to search
    File:Olsentwinsmilk.jpg
    The Olsen Twins after an encounter with a penis.
    File:Mary-KateOlsenSuckPenis.jpg
    Mary-Kate Olsen Like Sucking on "John Stamos" Sweet Penis!
    File:Olsentwinge.jpg
    Getting ready for a party

    The Olsen Twins consist of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. These 29-year-old girls were formerly the object of media-driven pedophile fantasies, but have grown into the flower of young womanhood, and are now devout Mormons. In modern times they are more known for having faces that look 30 years older than the rest of them.

    A History

    At the age of two, the Olsen Twins' parents pimped them out to Holywood producers for use in numerous television commercials and situation comedies of the '80s. Notable among these was the complex and brilliant Full House, which was based on a true story about three homosexual men raising kidnapped children in San Francisco. Winning many international awards, this program ran for only 2 years, until the male actors all died of AIDS. This gave the children the chance to escape.

    As revealed in a 2000 guestbook post by the Twins' "Gammy" Augustine Olsen, the Olsen Twins are expert salad-tossers [1]. Since that time, the Olsen Twins have remained in the spotlight through their long series of petty but artistically brilliant crimes such as the armed robbery of a Scientology center and selling a long, detailed, but completely false story to the tabloids about a midnight ménage à trois with Mohamed Atta on the night before 9/11.

    Also they have raised more money for PETA than everyone else in Hollywood put together. Hilariously enough, Ashley has been harassed for flaunting fur products publicly.

    Twin Careers

    The Olsen Twins (lol they hate being called that) have to be known best for their role as the retarded and Aryan youngest child of Danny Tanner in Full House, mentioned above. The show ran for nine seasons and is still on the air to this day. Lewis Black described the show quite accurately on Bob Saget's roast:


       
     
    I think [Full House is] based on what passes through the brain of a comatose child molester.
     

     
     

    Shortly after, the lolis became superstars. They made enough money to buy out a company called Dualstar, the purpose of which is to enslave employ Korean children into manufacturing cheap shit including DVDs and child pornography video series videotapes based on their lives on the set of Full House. They currently have a clothing line for Walmart and are the richest girls in the fucking world.


    They starred in a movie called New York Minute (which failed lol) and acted alongside Eugene Levi, their primary molester at the time.

    Mary-Kate Olsen

    Mary-Kate Olsen (also known as Marky-Kate on /b/), since turning 18, has become a great source of lulz for people both IRL and on the internets. Marky-Kate no doubt is the hotter, skinnier, more successful and outgoing twin. Tabloids and witnesses claimed she went to rehab for cocaine, while others view her as a source of thinspiration for their ana/mia ways. Don't be fooled: She is a fucking coke whore and pothead; her ex-bodyguard even said so in an exclusive interview. However, fucking gaytards like Ryan Seacrest and that fat skank on E! News wouldn't dare to spread such filth truth, so you don't hear about her hilariously devastating addictions on television.

    Some argue that Mary-Kate had a hand in Heath Ledger's death killed Heath Ledger. This is probably true. If it is not, then Batman did it.

    Ashley Olsen

    Ashley has been known to be the poster child for jealousy because of all the media attention on her skinnier, more attractive, drug-addicted twin. This has led to her dying her hair various colors and looking like a cheap whore.

    Ashley was kidnapped by Sean Hannity in late 2006, and currently resides in a small sex-dungeon located in Hannity's back yard. She was briefly the object of a missing white woman syndrome search, but Hannity succeeded in halting the public lamentations and speculation.

    Gallery

    See Also

    Portal icon whores.gif

    Olsen Twins is part of a series on

    Whores

    Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage.