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    Numberofthebeatz

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    DGJASSY FUCKS TURTLES
    DGJASSY FUCKS TURTLES
    DGJASSY FUCKS TURTLES
    DGJASSY FUCKS TURTLES
    DGJASSY FUCKS TURTLES
    DGJASSY FUCKS TURTLES
    DGJASSY FUCKS TURTLES
    A commonly known virus from the Maria suzae species.

    As a follower of Branca, some can say that she’s not a very dominant icon in the Mary Sue fan faggotry. However, this particular suethor known as "Draw Girl Jassy" or "DGJassy" (don't ask) is one of the many viral species in DeviantART (Link to gallery: NumberoftheBeatz), and she will pair her very same retarded character with any (and every) lead fandom male she may possibly come up with, as well as draw all of them sickeningly kawaii. Of course, upon drawing these unproperly cute and soulless versions of male characters from various fandoms, she infects them with remarkable fail, rendering them limp-wristed, weak and fagtacular. Although she is lightyears behind Branca in popularity, she still has a rather solid circle of friends and watchers, particularly because she draws fanart of popular artists along with her own fancharacters she insists on inserting in online roleplaying games.

    A Professional Suethor

    Located in Germany, DGJassy is known for having done several collaborations with Branca featuring Steel Pot, a shitty "Gorillaz alterego" which gave enormous popularity to her idol, and Jassy, a cartoonified version of herself that seems to be begging to be shagged by whoever she's paired with. But she claims it's not lust for a fictional character: it's LOVE. As a fine example of a fucked-up weeaboo, she's always referring Branca as her sensei, and drawing lots of pictures based on their roleplay adventures, which make the worst soap opera ever after Branca's marriage.

    The Recipe for a Mary Sue

    DGJassy uses her character Jassy (in many variations) to explore new levels of failure by putting her through different scenarios and plotlines and fandoms, just to end up falling in love with the main male character. That means, if Saturday Night Live was a trend, she would draw herself probably as a pair for Will Ferrell. Let's face the facts: she would end up funnier than him.

    The Plot

    1. Jassy, who's the little sister of Murdoc from Gorillaz, sees Steel Pot and falls in love with him.
    2. Steel treats her bad.
    3. Jassy loves Steel Pot.
    4. Steel doesn't treat Branca bad, maybe because she's his creator.
    5. Jassy loves Steel Pot.
    6. Jassy gets pregnant of Steel Pot.
    7. Sensei doesn't let Jassy get pregnant of Steel Pot, because "alteregos can't breed".
    8. Jassy changes the story, turning the offspring into an adopted baby.
    9. Jassy loves Steel Pot.
    10. Jassy has a crush on Samuel, another irrelevant character by Branca.
    11. Steel gets jealous.
    12. Jassy loves Steel Pot and Samuel.
    13. Steel Pot fights for Jassy.
    14. Samuel leaves (he was irrelevant anyway).
    15. Jassy loves Steel Pot.
    16. Jassy and Steel Pot are back again.
    17. ????
    18. PROFIT!

    List of Raped Fandoms

    Miniko? BeetleJas? Jassy the Humanic Maniac? How ridiculously stupid can you get? Yes, those are the names of some of DGJassy's original characters in:

    Gallery of Sues

    • Collab SummerTime by NumberoftheBeatz.jpg

      Collabs are the way of life of every little Mary Sue. STEEL POT AM MY BOYFRIENS!!

    • Jassyminiko.jpg

      Apparently, DGJassy thinks Murdoc is a pedophile. Here's her character Miniko, who loved him before reaching puberty.

    • Idunno.jpg

      Sensei says: "Come on Jassy, you can love my rapist, murder and Nazi character, but he hates you anyway."

    • Goroffspring.jpg

      Here's Miniko with DGJassy's sensei and their respective offspring. Gorillaz are not amused.

    [Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

    Draw my Character!

    Like any other crazy fangirl, DGJassy puts up many contests in which the participants must draw her with any of her internet crushes. In other words, she's asking you to draw fanart. The prizes are just wonderful. She lacks inspirations, so she's just redrawing the entry of someone else and pretending this to be a well-paid honour for the winners. FAIL.

    Quotes by DGJassy

       
    “     		 
    The most friendliest person in the group and THE WORLD, very clever and thinks before acts, would do everything for her friend (only not killing!)
          		„
          		 

    —Numberofthebeatz - describing her sensei and also licking her Mary Sue ass.

       
    “     		 
    Sometimes I think really... Life's lickin my ass!!!!!
          		„
          		 

    —Numberofthebeatz - Trying to go emo but ending up lulzy.

       
    “     		 
    Anyhow, do you know Anne Frank? I read her book now the fifth time!!! Tomorrow would be her 78th Birthday!!! Sadly, that this damn nazis killed her........hmmm.........dunno what to do now.......... well....See ya!!!!
          		„
          		 

    —Numberofthebeatz - who's dating a Gorillaz alterego that wears a swastika tattoo.

       
    “     		 
    You'll never guess what I read in a magazine right now!!! Our master in love, Jamie Hewlett, designs...VIBRATORS!!!!!!!!! Now I'm thinking... how could they look like?....like 2D? or better, MURDOC?!.... OH LORD!
          		„
          		 

    —Numberofthebeatz - thinking that Hewlett actually designed the vibrators and not the characters stamped on them.

       
    “     		 
    yeah? COOL I liked teh series as young folk too ^^
          		„
          		 

    —Numberofthebeatz - exists in plural.

    DGJassy, the Bitch

    Nowadays, DGJassy seems to be tired of sticking to sensei's arse and manages to find a good and patient artist so she can have some inspiration to draw. If the poor victim happens to be a male, DGJassy will use all her cute powers to convince him to draw fanart for her. Seems familiar. She's got a boyfriend, but she doesn't seem to care about him, she's too busy being an attention whore. It looks like she's been learning a lot from sensei, isn't it? You can see her harrassing moves here.

    DGJassy is crawling in her skin

    Although DGJassy always denies she's an emo faggot, she never passes out an opportunity for some attention-whoring. That's so lame and full of idiocy, her friends finally understood that she's a sad case of Aspergers, ADD and PMS, and started ignoring her dirty moves. Take a look at the last move she made on a deviant, just before writing her emo journal.

    Links

    Portal da.png

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