⚠️ Final stages: EDiting to re-open shortly ⚠️

Æ Roadmap

  • Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically)
  • Image restoration (Somehow still going? You can check statistics for more information)
  • Æ Imageboard (Delayed, work to be resumed at a later date)
  • Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
  • .onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
  • CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
  • Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
  • Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)
  • If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.

    You can also email me via [email protected]

    Merch Status: Merch is in. Waiting for USPS envelopes to mail out.



    No girls on the internet

    From Encyclopedia Dramatica
    Jump to navigation Jump to search
    There are no girls on the internet LOL Funny Pictures-s600x480-43842-580.jpg

    The origins of the phrase "there are no girls on the Internet" (otherwise known as Rule 30) are lost in the sands of time. The saying was created at least 100 years ago, meaning it probably came from usenet along with pornography, child pornography, furry pornography, Rule 34, Unix, Linux, DOS, Windows, Mac OS X, AmigaOS 4, Koreans, Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka, and the Internet itself. Fucking usenet.

    It is worth noting that when speaking of "girls on the Internet" one is speaking of actual Internet users actually tickling a keyboard. If you are speaking in terms of jpgs, gifs and videos, then the internet is almost entirely girls with only a few exceptions. Actually, everything you will read in this article is bullshit written by a basement inhabitant. There are absolutely no girls on the internet. No exceptions.

    Popularity

    "There are no girls on the internet" first gained popularity among what indisputably is the majority internet user demographic, the chronically unfuckable (not to be confused with the chronic unemployable, who often score huge slutpoints).

    The phrase was in reference to the dearth of women who would own up to their gender in such company. Unlike IRL, where a woman unfortunate enough to be in the same room is forced to bear the presence of, or even be subjected to interaction with social retards, on the internet a woman need only not reveal her gender.

    Of course, the general lack of confirmed vagina owners leads to a disturbing phenomenon known as the Nerd Rush. As observing a Nerd Rush discourages an intelligent woman from revealing her gender, and as less women reveal themselves, the more intense each Nerd Rush becomes, and some argue that women will eventually be driven off the net in a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is of course bullshit; women are whores, not Nobel Peace Prize laureates. As time goes by, there will forever be more and more attention-hungry sluts lacking the capacity to begin any sentence without saying "like, so" as a precursor.

    The real meaning behind "NGOTI"

    If I can pontificate a bit for your edification, one of the rules of the internet is "There are no girls on the internet". This rule does not mean what you think it means.

    In real life, people like you for being a girl. They want to fuck you, so they pay attention to you and pretend what you have to say is interesting, or that you are smart and clever. On the internet, we don't get a chance to fuck you. This means the advantage of being a "girl" does not exist. You don't get a bonus in a conversation just because i'd like to put my cock in you.

    When you make a stupid post like "hurr durr i'm a gurl" you are begging for attention. The only reason to post it is because you want your girl advantage back, because you are too vapid and stupid to do or say anything interesting without it. You are forgetting the rules, there are no girls on the internet.

    The one exception from this rule, the one way you can get your "girlness" back on the internet, is to post your tits. This is, and should be degrading for you, as an admission that the only interesting thing about you is your naked body.

    tl;dr TITS OR GTFO

    Nerd Rush

    The Nerd Rush seems an odd term. Surely it is impossible, due to extremely poor physical condition for a nerd to rush anywhere?

    Correct.

    However, Nerd Rushing requires only the use of a single hand, a requirement most often met at its bare minimum. It is typically started when a new user makes an introduction post revealing right off the bat that she is, in fact, female. Thus begins the frenzy as the pack descends, demanding documented evidence and proof.

    [1] NERD RUSH!

    Naturally, this is reason enough for girls to pretend to be guys. No one wants to deal with a bunch of horny nerds.

    Pretending to be a girl on WOW gets you gold

    Rule 30 Explained.jpg

    It's true! [2]

    SOZ NO, WoW is for lame men like Exod.

    But anyone with brains knows that only 13 year old boys play WoW. If you fall for one that tricks you, post it on /b/ so we can give you advice. RULES 1 AND 2 FAGGOT!








    Girls on the internet lead to TL;DR situations

    File:No girls.JPG [3] TL;DR

    [4] Christ almighty

    [5] NERD RAGE

    Spotting a girl on the Internets

       
     
    Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof.
     

     
     

    —Carl Sagan

    An actual real internets girl will typically NOT engage in explicit description of her sexual organs or their current, past, or projected future engagements. For example, a real Internet girl might mention she is on her period. This is fine, well within realgurl guidelines and a clear warning to leave the immediate vicinity. However, she is unlikely to describe the vile seepages involved. Eg: "The crimson ichor of my wymenhood cycle is leaking from my puffy, raw vagina (that aches to be fucked)."

    Don't fall for this shit and be fapping to a gay homo who has easily tricked you. Despite the delusions that many obese flabtards labor under the impression of, women are not a bizarre alien species but rather men with more interesting genitalia. As such, the sane versions do not have enough of a fixation with their own crotch equipment to write page upon page of interesting information concerning the clitoris.

    Golden Rule: The Internet is a harsh mistress

    Atomic.gif Warning!
    IGNORE THE GOLDEN RULE AT YOUR OWN PERIL


    DO NOT UPSET E-GIRLS!

    No matter how fat, no matter how annoying, no matter how stupid, how slutty, how fucking shit-full a girl on the internet is, there will be a tribe of White Knights to defend her from any real or perceived slight. This will in each and every way lead to drama, either through swarm attacks on any outsider who attempts to pop the female's ever-growing ego, or the never-ending infighting as the virgin tribe attempt to win e-favor with whatever blubbery cakemonster they've barnacle'd themselves onto.

    The golden rule can at any time be ignored for lulz. Please also refer to girl on the internet syndrome.

    Gallery


    See Also


    Atom small.png
    Atom small.png

    No girls on the internet is part of a series on

    SCIENCE!

    [FizzlePop]

    Portal icon whores.gif

    No girls on the internet is part of a series on

    Whores

    Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage.