⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️

There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.

Æ Roadmap

  • Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically)
  • Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
  • Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
  • Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
  • .onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
  • CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
  • Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
  • Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)

  • Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.

    If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.

    You can also email me via [email protected]

    Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.

    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot



    NES

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    File:Mac mini nes.jpg
    Nintendo's failed attempt at releasing a CD-based system before Sega and NEC.
    File:NES Rape.png
    A truly immersive gaming experience.

    The NES is a system made by Nintendo about 100 years ago. It is widely regarded as the best system ever by all except Atari fatties because it made people realize that Atari is shit. It is advisable to use emulators because if you were to play an NES for real, you are required to blow into the game for hours until it actually works. Although the NES is the coolest system evar, hot topic fags like to pretend to like it by wearing cool shirts with NES characters and icons on them. Depending on how many games you played in a day, you could expect to spend half of your entire fucking day blowing on a speck of dust to get the cartridge to play.

    Because everyone and their mother had a "Nintendo," video games are called "Nintendo games" by old people even today.


    Landmark Titles

    Bokosuka Wars (1985)

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    File:Budd Dwyer NES.jpg
    It would go on to outsell even the NES itself.

    Budd Dwyer (1987)

    Budd Dwyer capitalized on the suicide fad of the late 1980s by allowing Middle Americans to experience the thrill of ventilating their skull without any of the messy and permanent drawbacks.

    Metal Gear/Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake (1988)

    Metal Gear and its sequel were the first "Stealth-Em-Up" games ever invented, the brainchild of Hideo Kojima and one of the few titles released for the MSX and the MSX2. Its gameplay featured running left right, up down, shooting megaman pellets from your guns, and... well, let's face it; unless you're a die-hard fan you wouldn't play this trash for longer than five-minutes if it came along today. The best part of the game is burning your own father who you're really a clone of alive. Twice.

    Bionic Commando (1988)

    Bionic Commando: The greatest moment in video game history.

    Bionic Commando is a classic video game fondly remembered as the best game ever despite not having a jump button. This game features a historically accurate plot about Hitler (renamed Master D by censors) being resurrected to dominate the world. Despite removing all references to Nazis, it was still revolutionary for introducing the word "damn" to the NES' vocabulary and featuring Hitler's exploding head.

    Mega Man 2 (1989)

    More like Faga Man 2.

    Bad Dudes (1989)

    File:Badenoughdude.gif
    Bad Dudes is known for its critically acclaimed plot.

    Bad Dudes is an action game created by Data East. While the game possesses shitty gameplay, this game is still a solid candidate for the best NES game ever due to its plot: rescue Ronald Reagan from ninjas, dogs, and Karnov, who Data East Mary Sues into every single one of their games.

    Battletoads (1991)

    Battletoads is a video game franchise by Rare Ltd. created to rival the Teenage Mutant Colin Barker Turtles games. And Battletoads is a better game, but hard as shit.

    Action 52 (1991)

    Action 52 is a very expensive video game ($200) created by Active Enterprises, who is nothing more than two basement dwellers. Nobody knew it was possible to cram 52 shitty games into one NES cart, which include an even worse rip-off of Jaws and a queer version of Bionic Commando in which touching money actually damages you. The most notable of the 52 games, The Cheetahmen, proves that furfags are responsible for the death of the NES.

    Active Enterprise held a contest (dead link) to see who could beat one of their shitty games for a grand prize of $104,000. Their greatest lulz is that the game was too badly programmed to beat without cheating because the game locks up after two or three stages.

    NES gaming is serious business

    Just listen to this guy from boston Jew

    Gallery

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    External Links

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    Portal games.png

    NES is part of a series on

    Gaming

    Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.