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Mr. Hands

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Kenneth Pinyan aka Mr. Hands, An hero to Washington state

In 2005, a video popped up on the internet called "mrhands.mpg". The video, made in Enumclaw, Washington, outside of Seattle, is of a man being fucked in the ass by a horse.

The unknown person then reportedly began experiencing mysterious pains coming from within, but did not want to go to the hospital. In spite of this his friends opted to take him to the hospital three hours later. Sadly, Mr. Hands died en route from internal bleeding. It was later disclosed that his name was Kenneth Pinyan, and he refused to go to the hospital because he was a high profile engineer for Boeing and didn't want his reputation ruined in the same way his organs were.

The lesson in all of this is that bestiality was not illegal in the state of Washington for some reason. The only thing they could get him for was trespassing. In Washington people regularly had sex with horses without legal recourse. In the wake of the event however, bestiality was made illegal. Of special note is a line in the law making the filming of bestiality illegal as well. The cameraman, Michael Tait, was fined 300 dollars for his role in the event.

Was Mr. Hands a Furry?

Dramatic Re-enactment

Technically, no. There are a few important differences:

  • Furries claim not to have sex with animals.
  • Mr. Hands does not wear a fursuit. Neither did his "partner".
  • As much as we wish they did, the majority of furries don't die after being fucked stupid.
  • Judging by the amount of horse cock in his ass and the orgasmic groans of ecstasy, Mr. Hands is clearly a faggot (Even though all furries are faggots, not all faggots are furries. There are so many different perversions to choose from.).

Note: Mr. Hands doesn't qualify as animal abuse, because the horse quite clearly seems to be enjoying it. If anything, the "hyoomans" suffered the most. By hyoomans, we are not referring to Mr. Hands himself, but rather the many viewers who have been permanently scarred by watching him fatally take a gigantic animal schlong up the ass.

Mr. Hands' Balls

Kenneth's testicles resemble the shape of spines or thorns. Some argue that he had some kind of piercing or implantation procedure done. However, others argue that frequent anal penetration by a FUCKING HUGE HORSE COCK can't be that healthy for the reproduction organs, so it's no wonder that his balls look like they've been through over 9000 kinds of issues, illnesses and crap like this.

"I don't even want to watch the horse's dick. I want to see the guy's balls."
Even badass gangstas are turned into little church mice by Mr. Hands
You know these two nigger faggots love it
Wayne Chiang and his girlfriend
And now he's a subject of nighttime teenage pranks!


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