Mr. T

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Hey Ladies.

I pity da fool. But I also suggest ways he may betta himself.


— Mr. T

Mr. T (Laurence Tureaud) is a nigra "actor" of tremendous abilities. T first made a name for himself when some Jew noticed him bouncing at some club in Chicago and recruited him on the spot for the role of Black Boxer in Rocky III. The success of Rocky allowed T to broaden his horizons and play a Black Wrestler, a Black Fugitive, a Black guy doing shitty Warcraft commercials because he needs the money, and a crazy Black Guy who screams motivational shit at you while you work. T is also known for showing off all the gold chains he has stolen from whitey over the years.

He doesn't actually do anything worthwhile. Pity the fool.

Acting Career

Rocky III

Mr. T played the role of a tough guy negro boxer named Clubber Lang. The role was perfect for T as Clubber was a raging, batshit, illiterate boxer and T is black which is roughly the same thing. In the movie Clubber beats Rocky, Rocky trains with his own nigra, Rocky beats Clubber, The End.

Mr. T doing what comes naturally.

The A-Team

Mr. T played the role of a fugitive named B.A. Baraccus. The plot of show ran something like this: A group of 5 military buddies violate the "Don't ask, Don't tell" policy. On their way out the door, they help themselves to a bunch of "free shit" from the military. The military gets fucking pissed and chases them all across America trying to get their shit back. During this time, the guys stop of at random spots to fill their pedovan with fresh meat and fresh 16-year-old pussy.

I Pity The Fool

This is the only other acting thing Mr. T did that is worth anything. On this show, T plays himself. I guess what it means to be Mr. T is to be a annoying fucktard who can barely speak english, but somehow feels he is the perfect person to continuously dole out completely useless bullshit theories on life. In the show T goes around bothering people while they work. The goal of this is to make the people into better workers, but since noone can understand T half the time, his "words of wisdom" fall on deaf ears. On the plus side there are some rather lulzy scenes with people who don't particularly agree with the methodology that is Mr. T.


Back in the 80's Mr. T was approached by known pedophile Vince McMahon. Vince had a surefire scheme to make T some serious money which T knew translated to KFC and watermelonz. Eager to get some money in a different manner than he was used to, T signed up to be in Wrestlemania. In the event, T was cast as the bride of Hulk Hogan. In an epic drama full of suspense and other bullshit, Hulk has his feelings hurt when he is dumped by some Scottish guy who runs around in a skirt. Butthurt over his new lack of pen0r to swallow, Hulk goes down to the gym to pump some iron. It's here that he runs into Mr. T and it's love at first site. Seeing the pain in Hogan's eyes, T goes all white knight and picks a fight with the Scottish guy who's hanging out with one of his new lovers. All this nonsense culminates with a wrestling match and the beginning of the fall of Mr. T's career.

The White Knight Attacks

Mr. T cares about your mother



Mr. T is an actor of many diverse talents. One of those talents was to lend his voice to an amazing cartoon which ran during the 80's. The plot of the show really doesn't matter. It mostly involved T trying to gang rape orphans while telling all the middle class suburban kids who were watching to stay in school and to pity the fool.

Anything For A Buck

Over the years Mr. T has found himself in some unfortunate circumstances. You'll always know when this is because you will see some shit commercial with his sad, old, withered face spitting out the same tired catchphrases from twenty years ago.

Gays Hate Nutz?

Mr T loves his nutz!

Naturally, lots of gay-pride faggots were up in arms because Mr. T pwned the shit out of a speedwalker. The commercial only aired in Europe, but it was quickly pulled because the fags bawwed about Mr. T firing a gatling gun made of PVC pipe that shoots fucking candy bars at a guy's legs to force him to run. Fortunately, the intertubes got a hold of this piece of epic win media and released it to the public, causing teh gays to get even moar butthurt. It was all done for the lulz.


See Also


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