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Æ Roadmap

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    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot

    Mozilla Firefox

    From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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    Since the dawn of time.
    Dave Hyatt, co-creator of Firefox.
    Aliens travel many light-years to download shitty browsers
    Sweet Jesus! Gimme summa dat furry luv!
    There are a lot of different plugins for Firefox
    File:More firefox plugins.jpg
    Ones for adblocking, blocking flash, downloading flash videos, running greasemonkey scripts, clogging up memory and OHGOD CRASHING

    Mozilla Firefox (originally titled Furryfox, aka Failfox) is a web browser from the Mozilla Foundation, of which version 1.0 was released at least 100 years ago.

    Designed exclusively for elitist, basement dwelling bloggers experiencing Netscape Communicator withdrawal, Firefox quickly became the browser of choice for those disillusioned with Internet Explorer. Firefox is commonly used by 13-year-old boys to look up pr0n so their parents don't find out.

    Firefox was famous after its launch since it is one of the few open source programs to actually achieve version 0.5. Since then, Firefox has reached over 25 million downloads. To get an idea of how many downloads that is, you need to go to http://www.mozilla.com/firefox and download it 25 million times.

    Why Switch to Firefox?

    Firefox is an excellent browser, regardless of memory use, speed, functionality, and security.

    Firefox is a very shitty browser.

    Firefox is better than your current shitty browser.

    With the recent mass adoption of Internet Explorer 6, there is no reason to use firefox.

    Firefox vs. Internet Explorer

    Money made (2006) by Microsoft by distributing Internet Explorer: $0 USD.

    Money made (2006) by the Mozilla Corporation by bending over for Google: $47,064,657 USD. (Profit, not revenue.) Seriously. And now the irony.


    Browsing Porn. This is the greatest benefit.[1]

    <jesterlo1> So back in the day of the modem, when porn was limited to pictures only, 
    I used to go to lots of thumbnail galleries and save the pictures to a folder that 
    I would use a slideshow on afterwards.
    <jesterlo1> The great thing about a slideshow is that pressing any 
    key makes it disappear, good for the uninvited guest, know what I mean?
    <jesterlo1> Well it turned out that uninvited guest was my father and I was in the 
    middle of a "session" so I quickly press escape and ask him whats up.
    <jesterlo1> He looks at me, looks at the screen, I look at the screen, say, "uhhhhhhhhhh", 
    then he mutters something about if there was any email for him and leaves quickly.
    <jesterlo1> And said pic was a huge cock spraying all over this girls face.
    <jesterlo1> But because of the dimensions of the pic, all you could see was a huge cock spraying 
    as my background.
    <jesterlo1> And that my friends, is why I use Firefox.

    Aside from its beauty, speed, agility, red mane, pleasant musky scent, warm fur (OMG YIFF YIFF YIFF! ARGGGGGGGG I CAME!), and advanced pop-up blocking features, Firefox has the advantage over other browsers in one respect.

    Tabbed browsing. OMG! IT'S LIKE SO TOTALLY ORIGINAL!!!

    Unfortunately for Firefox nerds, Internet Explorer 7 was released with tabbed browsing, so the above paragraph is moot. Besides, Opera did it way back in 1996. However, everyone will still regard Internet Explorer as shit and always will.

    Another feature is being frozen for a half hour while your browsing history loads, as well as randomly crashing. Suddenly, Internet Explorer looks good.

    Plus, Urban dead gets teh upgraded graffix.

    Also, Firefox is the browser that Scenesters claim for reasons they themselves don't understand their Br00tal myspaces are best viewed on, though they of course don't know what the fuck they're talking about and are mostly doing it for the USI factor, and the belief that in order to view their 1337 html $killz, Firefox is required.

    There is exactly one metric shit-ton of addons and haxorz[2] to make you teh uber power uz3r, but noone cares.

    The Browser for Treehuggers

    Firefox claims on its website to be a 100% organic browser, attempting to turn the issue of browser preference into an environmental dilemma with severe moral implications. This gimmick is sure to entice hippies, poseurs, and fuckwits. Nevermind the fact that all computer programs are nothing but electrons, and the act of sitting on your fat ass surfing the internet and producing methane does nothing to counter global warming, whether the crumbs of food that get stuck in your keyboard were produced with the use of pesticides or not.

    Spreading AIDS

    Firefox was such a phenomenon that a whole bunch of non-furry Firefox lovers (not that any of them aren't closet furries, mind you) got together on a website called SpreadFirefox.org and made it their purpose to make everyone a Firefox user. With their battle cry of "Take Back the Web", they showed their love and devotion to the browser.

    Unfortunately, these people were (and are) largely unaware that Mozilla Corp. spent millions of dollars on a traditional, big-evil-corporate ad campaign to build up hype.


    At Toorcon 2006, notorious Bantown cybercriminals Revmischa and weev announced that they had found over 30 vulnerabilities in Firefox Javascript, which they planned to use to take over the Internets. Much drama ensued, especially among the open sores community who were distressed at the thought that they could no longer bore people by explaining how secure their browser was. It was later revealed that the whole thing had been a troll, and that Bantown didn't have 30 vulnerabilities at all, just one shitty one. Except weev, who had over 30 Firefox 0days revealed to him in mystical communion with the prophet Jah Lightning, after he accidentally took acid and meth at the same time.

    Firefox 3.6

    Screenshot from Firefox 3.0 beta
    Conservatives and homo haters everywhere proudly use Firefox.

    It's not very often we like to mention factual information on ED, but we would like to inform you that this program is unstable as fuck. At the request of our website owner, Joseph Evers, Here's a link to "fix" (downgrade) your shitty 2.0 installation for Windows.

    Firefox +1

    With release of Firefox 4, Mozilla adapted the most autistic development cycle ever heard of. Normal developers make a new release whenever a new technology is stable and critical bugs have been fixed. Mozilla releases a snapshot of the latest stable codebase every 6 weeks and slaps an incremented major version number on it. Between version 4 and 13 little to nothing has been changed. To top that, since version 5, Firefox has only 2 version integers and not 4. Cause at Mozilla Corp. nobody needs to denote that they're just fixing minor bugs and glitches.


    Firefox - Memory - Fat Fox.jpg

    If there's one general consistency with FireFox it's exponential memory BLOAT! Each new iteration of the software seems to DOUBLE the amount of system memory the fiery lil bitch beats down within it's depths. What exactly it's doing with all that memory or why it even needs it in the first place is anyone's guess. It is theorized however that the developers and programmers of the software don't actually have a fucking cl00 as to what it is they're even doing. That theory is supported by the fact that FireFox is entirely spaghetti bitched from ancient freeware Mozilla browser source code; one slop mess piled on top of another and another and another. Each new heaping helping of hodgepodge code furthering the fucking failure that is FireFox.


    Beta version fine-tuned for CP browsing.

    Firefox for Pedos

    A while back, a group of pedophiles launched their own version of the browser, featuring a lolifur splash screen, and links to several CP sites. It is also rumored to contain embedded FBI monitoring software.

    Prepare to be shocked and amazed.


    Debian has had enough of Firefox not being entirely free software, but merely a freeware cocktease. Thus since with Firefox 3.0, Debian Foundation started to patch Firefox' codebase and replace their proprietary artwork with GPL artwork. Despite having exact same engine as Firefox, many websites would not recognize the new browser as Firefox which forced its users to spoof user agents, thus saying goodbye to accurate measurement of their browser market share.


    Good software comes to Windows with a 64-bit flavor. That's how we know Firefox is not good software. 64-bit builds of Firefox for Windows, known as Nightly, started in 2010 and have since remained in alpha branch of the codebase. Probably because they are fucking awful. They eat up more memory than their stable counterparts on Linux and FreeBSD, their handling of Flash inspires suicidal thoughts, there are no localized releases and because alpha version is a few numbers ahead of stable releases, half of your plugins won't work. Nightly was formerly known as Minefield, which was a more appropriate name, for whenever you launch it you have a fair chance of stepping into a mine that'll crash your browser.


    Effect of efforts of an idealist programmer posse trying to improve where Nightly failed. One can only give it credit for not having an eating disorder as severe as Nightly and handling Flash in an acceptable manner. It still sucks because it's just a rehash of Mozilla codebase with swapped artwork, compiler optimizations, and nothing more to that. Sounds familiar? It isn't localized either, and you have to buy a recent Intel processor and be using x64 bit windows to use it at full speed as it's compiled with Intel's Compiler, that's racist toward AMD processors. You didn't buy cheap hardware to complain about it being slow, anyway - right?

    GNU Icecat

    GNU decided to jump on the "Pimp my Firefox" bandwagon with the rest of the gang. The result is a browser that is not localized, it loads each new page into cache for at least a minute. No sane person tried Icecat more than that in fear of wasting time for an even worse performance with pages depending on Java or Flash. Why the project is not scrapped riddles many who were unfortunate to use it.

    Pale Moon

    Pale Moon is a fork of a older version of Firefox, Firefox 3 to be specific. Nothing much bad to say about it, except it's good as fuck for older PCs when it is your last resort. Only downside is that it's not going to support most of your favorite addons.

    Demonic Connection

    Any user trying to find out the true meaning of Firefox needs not look further then the supplied information pages. Simply type in about:mozilla and you will receive FireFox's true meaning:


    Mammon slept. And the beast reborn spread over the earth and its numbers grew legion. And they proclaimed the times and sacrificed crops unto the fire, with the cunning of foxes. And they built a new world in their own image as promised by the sacred words, and spoke of the beast with their children. Mammon awoke, and lo! it was naught but a follower.


    —from The Book of Mozilla, 11:9
    (10th Edition)

    Without doubt the foxes represent Microsoft who using their unique brand of logic attempted to take over the world by distributing medicore webbrowsers thus resurecting the beast that is and was Anonymous. This red is an accurate rendering of the blood of Opera.

    Firefox joins the herd

    Firefox join the herd.jpg

    It was apparent ever since that Firefox was promoting furfaggotry. Mozilla Corp. decided that it should now give a pat on the back to another socially unacceptable niche. What Mozilla Corp. doesn't realize, is that by doing so it supports what bronies stand for and completely ruins their public image and credibility.


    Last thursday's update added personas which let people make a theme and submit it. They only allow G-rated personas so it's gay.


    [Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

    See Also


    External Links

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    Featured article June 12 & July 13, 2012
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