⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️

There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.

Æ Roadmap

  • Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically)
  • Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
  • Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
  • Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
  • .onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
  • CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
  • Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
  • Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)

  • Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.

    If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.

    You can also email me via [email protected]

    Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.

    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot



    Monica Lewinsky

    From Encyclopedia Dramatica
    Jump to navigation Jump to search
    Gotis.png
    Monica Lewinsky = infected with GOTIS
    You can help by not giving her any attention.


    Monica Jewinsky is a fat Jewish prostitute best known for having had buttsecks and oral sex with President Bill Clinton.


    Childhood

    Monica was born in 1973 in San Francisco, California, to parents Mel Gibson and Barbara Streisand. She had early experience in spreading her legs for dirty old men:


       
     
    I was there at the beginning. I kissed that little girl's inner thighs when she was six days old--I said, 'Look at those little poulkes."
     

     
     

    —Jew lawyer William H. Ginsburg, who paid Monica's parents to give the portly pepperpot a bris

    After sucking off her entire high school football team (because who wants to fuck a fatty, right?) and fucking her high school drama teacher Andy Bleiler, Monica moved to Washington, DC to fulfil her life's ambitions: (1) Become an unpaid intern and (2):


       
     
    I'm going to get my presidential kneepads
     

     
     

    Monica Lewinsky, 1995

    Scandal

    Republicans had hoped to catch Bill Clinton in an extramarital affair in order to impeach him. After Clinton spurned Ann Coulter, they realized that he was not interested in anorexic transsexuals. Figuring Bill liked the power a guy gets in impressing a chunky, awkward chick, they hired Monica for the job instead. Monica had a White House job arranged as a janitor, but her extensive experience with the wet/dry vac made her a natural choice.

    Both sides of the political aisle were outraged. Democrats were upset that their hero Bill Clinton couldn't score any better tail; and Republicans were upset they weren't getting lunchtime BJs from their interns.

    Clinton was quickly charged with a variety of crimes- from perjury, to obstruction of justice; to "dude, you fucked that?". The charges were eventually dropped, however, when President Clinton threatened to have Hillary testify on his behalf, and prosecutors decided they didn't want to be reminded of just how lousy this guy's taste in women is.

    Current Wherabouts

    Attention whores are like herpes: once they start riding the media's cock, they never go away. Addicted to the attention, these whores keep coming back for their fix. So it is with Monica, who just never gets the hint that 1) she's a whore and 2) we all want whores to STFU and GTFO once their (blow)job is done.

    Monica's First Attention Whore Tour 1999-2004

    Lewinsky used the political connections she earned to get hired on as some fag marketer for a designer purse company; and to create her own line of designer purses, bags, and knee pads.


       
     
    Her handbags, made of cloth in a "hippie chic" style, are sold at Henri Bendel in Manhattan, at Fred Segal Melrose in West Hollywood, Calif., and on her Web site, therealmonicainc.com. I originally wanted to use Monicainc.com, but that was taken by a whorehouse, she said. A friend said, 'What about The Real Monica Inc.?' and I thought, 'O.K.'
     

     
     

    Monica Lewinsky (Jew York Times June 25, 2000)

    Despite the obvious saleability of a product line created by a fatty who's only claim to fame is that she was a convenient cumdumpster to a horny old politician, the product line failed, big. After sitting on the racks for years collecting dust, they were given to the homeless. By 2004, the faggots at Vogue Magazine officially declared Monica's handbag-venture dead. Monica would need a new vehicle for her attention-seeking, since Jenny Craig dumped the slut after she failed to cut down on her cum-guzzling.

    2004-2006: Monica receives Mastur's Degree

    In December 2006, Monica waddled across a graduation stage to receive a degree from the London School of Economics. The title of Monica's thesis was: "In Search of the Impartial Juror: An exploration of the third person effect and pre-trial publicity."

    How could a woman who barely scraped a 2.00 GPA at Lewis & Clark College, and is unable to spell the word "public," received admission to the prestigious British university, an admissions dean replied: "Superior oral skills."

    2012: "I'M WRITING A TOP-SECRET BOOK!!1" Monica blabbed

    In 2012, Monica Lewinsky was said to be writing a book, with major publishers, who were all asked to sign nondisclosure agreements to take the meetings.

    The book deal fell through, though, when Monica insisted on writing the manuscript with a jizzfilled quill pen.

    2013: Monica Lewinsky "Guards Her Privacy"

    LULZ were to be had when Time Magazine trumpted Monica's 40th birthday with this "head"-line:


       
     
    Now 40, Monica Lewinsky Guards Her Privacy
     

     
     

    Time Magaine, July 23, 2013

    The article went on to chronicle Lewinsky's history of shamelessly whoring for media-attention, just in time for her next re-re-re-branding:

    Monica's Attention Whore Tour 2014-2015

    Despite the fact that the world would be grateful if she died in a fire, Monica Lewinsky re-surfaced to attention whore some moar in 2014, first with some interviews...



    And then she gave an TED talk overflowing with attention whoring, dramafag kikeness:

       
     
    Some of you might be asking, ‘Who the hell is she, this Monica, and what is she doing here?’ Or maybe even, ‘What is she doing in all of those Rap lyrics?’ Thank you, Beyoncé and Eminem. And Nicki Minaj. And Kid Cudi. Lil B and Lil Wayne. And of course G-Eazy, but let’s not forget Jeezy and all the rest.”
     

     
     

    —Famewhore Monica Lewinsky, TED talk, March 23, 2015

    She also opened a twitter...though she still has fewer followers than Duke pornslut Miriam Weeks. People pretty much snickered and sneared at Monica's Jewishy attention-seeking.


       
     
    Monica Lewinsky is doomed.
     

     
     

    Some dumb media oldfag, 2014

    Videos

    See Also

    External Links

    Portal sex.jpg

    Monica Lewinsky is part of a series on

    Sex

    Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.

    Portal icon whores.gif

    Monica Lewinsky is part of a series on

    Whores

    Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage.

    Monica Lewinsky is part of a series on Dying Alone

    [DeadCry yourself to sleep]

    150px Those Who Have Died Alone

    Aaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAnna Nicole SmithAsa CoonBrian AdamsBrandon CrispCharmaine DragunChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineEazy-EEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyGeorge SodiniGizgizHappyCabbieHarambeHeath LedgerJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonKate SpadeKitty0706Kurt CobainLemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLil PeepLiloMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRipperRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickShawn WoolleyShaySteve StephensTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler DumstorfVester FlanaganZhao Zewei

    Those Dying Alone

    03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77Adam SandlerAngry GrandpaAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmy SchumerAngry JoeAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAntony AguilarApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxArgent009Arguecat3Arin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsa CoonAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrianna WuBroniesButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCheeyevChloe SagalChris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDave ChapelleDave MustaineDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDnepropetrovsk maniacsDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868Dorian_GayDoug WalkerDragoneerDrakonDustinEmer PrevostEmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGather Against FateGeorge LopezGhostGirlvinylGoddessMilleniaGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777I Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles Cheongicze⁴rImma-The-DeerInkBunnyJamil The KingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276Joshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinRPGKaBlamBandicoot64Kat DenningsKendall JennerKathleen ToddKenny GlennKevin HavensKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKrashedLaci GreenLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Leslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLordelthibarLucian HodobocM. ChaosA Man in BlackManchildrenMarblesMariotehplumberMarjan SiklicMatthew DavisMatthew NicholsonMaxtaroMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeowbarkMeganSpeaksMichael BattonMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMike SandyMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250Nathan GaleNawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNick BateNick BravoNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriOFWGKTAOnyx ForepawPaigeGirlPaul FeigPaulie CalafioreParkourdude91Peter BrightPeter CoffinPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPMRantsPreachingthegospelQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRedheadXilamGuyRicki RavenRMG ProductionsRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Sad FrogSammyClassicSonicFanSam PepperSarah ButtsSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSegacampSega KidSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSonmanicSony-MaeSophie LabelleSpax3StormySuperlisamcbSusan BoyleTara StrongTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagTheSockDetectiveTim BuckleyTJ LaneTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotUrinatingTreeVadeVinceintheBayWade FulpWeatherManKevinWesley!!!WoWfan4lifeWwwareaWeegeeisgoingtokillmXenuriaYoshiwii1Youyoungbloodfantasy91Zoe QuinnZone

    Their Methods

    9gagAdventure TimeAIDSAnimuArt SchoolAsperger's SyndromeAssigned Maleask.fmBath SaltsThe Big Bang TheoryBlackLivesMatterBlack metalBody PillowsBoozeBullyingBuzzFeedCollectorComputer Science IIICosplayDead FriendDeath metalDeath penaltyDeviantARTDrugsEdginessFanFictionFeminismFidget spinner The Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurry ArtGarry's ModGoAnimate!GooglewhackingGorillazGravity FallsGrindcoreHackingHappy Madison ProductionsHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffInfantilismInsane Clown PosseInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLegoLeague of LegendsLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNice GuyismOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesOverwatchPlastic CrapPlenty of Fish/r9k/RobloxRuneScapeSecond LifeSilk Screen Goku ShirtTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyShy Boys IRLSlayerSlipknotSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeSpeakoniaTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe SimsThey Might Be GiantsTulpasTumblrTV TropesUncle GrandpaUncyclopediaUndertaleVloggerheadsWatchMojo.comWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYouTube

    Monica Lewinsky
    is part of a series on Politics.
    Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]

    Alt-rightAnarchyCapitalismCentrismCommunismConservatismDemocratHippieLiberalismLibertarianismMiltopismNaziNihilismNeo-conPacifismRepublicanReconquistaSocialismStoner GuruTory

    Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

    AbortionArab SpringBahrainBarron TrumpBirthCISPADeath penaltyDrugsEnvironmentalismGaysGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleGirlfriendsMarijuana AddictionGround Zero MosqueMarijuana AddictionMass ShootingGun controlGunsHealthcare (2) (3)• HomelessHousing CrisisHuntingIceslaveIranMarriageMiller TestMiltopiaNAUPimpin'RacismShoesTaxesTerrorismUnemploymentWarWelfare

    Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

    AhmadinejadAkinB.AllenG. AllenAngleAshburnBachmannBhuttoBin LadenBlagojevichBlairBoehnerG.BrownS.BrownBunningJim TraficantDubya BushGeorge H. W. BushBurrByrdCainCameronChavezCheCheneyChomskyChretienChurchillClintonClinton IIChelsea Clinton Hillary Clinton CleggCohenColemanCorbynCowgerCraigCthulhuCunninghamCurtisD'AlemaDeanDelayDuterteDwyerEdwardsFaganFiorinaFoleyGerald FordRob FordGellerGillardGingrichGiulianiGonzalesGoreGrahamGravelGreeneGriffinHagueHansonHardingHarperHitlerHowardHuckabeeHusseinJacksonJamesJidetteJohnsonJohnson, BorisKennedyLaRoucheLBJLottKerryKindKissingerKucinichLewinskyLiebermanLimbaughLoughnerMajorMarceaux.comMarxMcBerryMcCainMcHenryMcKinneyMercerMichael BloombergMooreMorocco MoleMussoliniNaderNixonObamaO'DonnellOsbornePainePaladinoPalinPaulPelosiPencePerryPinochetPrittPutinQuahQuayleRasanskyReaganRendellRiceRobertsonRomneyRoveRuddRumsfeldRyanSaakashviliSandersSantorumSchumerSchwarzeneggerSharptonCyril SmithJacqui SmithSpitzerStevensStranahanSupremeTaitzThatcherThompsonThorleyTPMMuckraker MoleTrudeauTrumpVenturaVitterWarsiWashingtonWaxmanWeinerWestWilliamsWilsonWolfowitzXXenophon

    Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

    America's Third PartyBlack BlocDramacratic PartyHard PartyLemon PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaNorth American DONG PartyOBAMACORNSocialist Workers PartyPirate PartyZapatistas

    Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

    2013 US Government ShutdownBlaming ChinaCaptain Nigga DefendaCloward Piven StrategyCuckservativesDemockeryDoomsday ClockG20 Toronto LollercaustLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberal guiltMacaca#NotMySuperbowlChampsOccupy DemocratsOperation LemonpartyRaped StatisticsThe ResistanceUpworthyWunderground

    See also: 2012 Elections2016 Presidential ElectionsInternet PoliticsPizzaGatePolitical communities