⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️

There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.

Æ Roadmap

  • Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically)
  • Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
  • Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
  • Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
  • .onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
  • CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
  • Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
  • Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)

  • Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.

    If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.

    You can also email me via [email protected]

    Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.

    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot



    Money

    From Encyclopedia Dramatica
    Jump to navigation Jump to search
    Info non-talk.png This article is about IRL currency. For OL, see Internet money


    Jew in the box.gif


    File:Getmoney.jpg
    One of the many ways to get money.
    File:DuckNigeria.jpg
    Even Technologically Impaired Duck is making money on the internet


       
     
    Money can't buy love in this world, but it'll get you a half pound of cocaine and a 16 year-old girl.
     

     
     

    Randy Newman



       
     
    Money might not be able to buy love but it does a pretty damn good job of renting it.
     

     
     

    John Delorian


    File:Lesbianmoney.jpg
    Lesbians are socially ostracized and have to use marked bills..
    File:Black Monopoly.jpg
    Don't hate the game hate the player.
    File:Bored.jpg
    Rich people are usually depressed because they don't have any real friends.
    Presidents get angry at the defacing of money.

    Money' is a term that refers to the medium of exchange in any standardized system of trade. Ancient cultures had yet to invent bullshit, and so all of their 'money' was actually just a standardized form of barter - they traded a socially agreed upon amount of a certain precious commodity such as salt, or white gold, for goods.

    Modern money has the advantage of not having any worth but what is socially agreed upon, because it is now made out of largely worthless metals, and fibers. Allegedly these worthless representations of wealth are backed by massive reserves of precious metals, specifically Jew Gold. In practice, however, nobody really cares as long as you can still afford a slushie.

    IT IS THE FUCKING THING THAT THE MORONS CLOSED THE OLD ED FOR. For more info: capitalism

    If you're an Asian or a third world immigrant, you are considered rich by your people if you own at least 100 dollars in your debit card.

    There are many many ways to get money. You can start by getting a job so you don't stay in your mom's basement for the rest of your life.

    United States Dollars are tracked by the government-run site Where's George?.

    File:Moneynz.jpg
    New Zealand money is guarded by images of terrifying gargoyles.


    Ode to Money


    With money you can:

    money opens doors for you. It even spreads legs.


    And many many moar!?

    Things equal to money

    Things only weirdos feel are equal to money...

    Things that are the complete opposite of money

    Things to do when you owe somebody money

    Take note of specimen, this is who you will end up owing money to 90% of the every damn time.
    • Postpone payment
    • Ask for more time when he demands his money
    • Tell him you have liquidity problem
    • If he's a friend, start a fight for an entirely different reason. A person who doesn't want to talk to you is not likely to ask for money.
    • Tell him he's too obsessed with money.
    • Tell him he's shallow
    • Just don't pay it
    • Make somebody else pay it for you
    • Pay half of the amount
    • Change the subject
    • Pay in a different currency
    • Ask for more money
    • Offer a partnership
    • Offer stock option
    • Pretend to forget about the amount and discuss about it forever
    • Offer to pay it by second hand assets
    • Ask for his IBAN account if the conversation occurs in offline environment.
    • Offer to pay in person if the conversation is online
    • Ask him to sue you
    • Pay money to a gang to get rid of him -and you debt, eventually
    • Disappear

    Riches!

    Rabbis masturbate to this.
    Rich asshole

    Money makes you rich, and having more money than someone else makes them pwned. You can assess how rich and pwning you are on Adam Smith's Riches Calculator. The Calculator analyzes what you do when your toilet breaks:

    Getting Paid

    Realistic representation of what happens when you get paid.

    Funny money

    A slang term that is used to describe any form of money that is not the United States dollar. Funny Money is invariably more technically advanced than real money, and often shows its superiority through the use of multiple colors on a single bill, as opposed to the boring dollars monochromatic tones.

    It is rumored that Europe's Funny Money, the Euro, has a coin that is actually worth as much as it buys.

    The official currency of Vietnam is the Dong, which is, of course, hilarious.

    NB - Ironically perhaps, the term 'funny money' is a term sometimes applied colloquially in Europe to counterfeit notes. Therefore if you're in Paris, Prague or erm... Scunthorpe then bear in mind you really don't want to fill your wallet up with the stuff, irrespective of what's been said above. Not to be confused with furry money, which is money used in transactions to purchase animal sex.

    Monopoly money

    President Obama has stated that we cannot treat US tax dollars like Monopoly money [1].

    To test this theory we hired a troop of scientists and stuff.

    Experiment 1 - dollars as Monopoly money

    Admittedly dollars do not have the right numbers on the front but use of an orange crayon can soon convert them. Like Lioncash.

    Experiment 2 - as Coke straws

    Monopoly money is easier to roll but is a bit small unless you have a Jew nose. Dollars have the advantage of already having traces of cocaine on them and so CSI can't prove it was you.

    Experiment 3 - as cigar lighters

    Monopoly money burns a bit too fast but then it cheaper than using dollars to transfer fire. Both dollars and Monopoly notes can theoretically be used to roll joints, but they burn shittily, taste shitty and the ink gives you cancer.

    Experiment 4 - as toilet paper

    Dollars don't allow your fingers to burst through, but Monopoly money is softer if you have piles.

    Pink Floyd

    Money, get away.
    Get a good job with good pay and you're okay.
    Money, it's a gas.
    Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash.
    New car, caviar, four star daydream,
    Think I'll buy me a football team.
    
    Money, get back.
    I'm all right jack keep your hands off of my stack.
    Money, it's a hit.
    Don't give me that do goody good bullshit.
    I'm in the high-fidelity first class traveling set
    And I think I need a lear jet.
    
    Money, it's a crime.
    Share it fairly but don't take a slice of my pie.
    Money, so they say
    Is the root of all evil today.
    But if you ask for a raise it's no surprise that they're
    Giving none away.

    A small organ lodged behind the prostate and ahead of the rectum, in the general region known as the taint. ED routinely encourages its users to stimulate this organ and ejaculate money that can in turn be given to ED so that it can continue bringing you lulz.

    Of course, everybody knows that's a scam. Should it have been true though, the solution instead of giving money would be to stop going to EncyclopediaDramatica, so you wouldn't invade their precious little wimpy baww bandwidth.

    Wikipedia's bait


    Galleries

    [Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


    [Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


    Juxtaposition About missing Pics
    [Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


    [Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


    See Also

    You're home early.jpg

    External Links

    [RecessionInflation]
    £€ Money is a part of a series on Money
    150px Companies

    AdFlyAdobeAmazonAppleAT&TBDICBellBitcoinBurger KingCelestial ToystoreComcastDisneyDuckDuckGoeBayFox NewsGNWTGoogleHappy Madison ProductionsIBMIKEAMicrosoftMcDonald'sMTVNew Media RockstarsNintendoNovellOracle CorporationPatreonPayPalSonySun MicrosystemsT-MobileVerizonViacomWal-MartWikiaYahooYouTube

    People

    Steve ChenLyor CohenBill GatesChad HurleyL. Ron JeremySteve JobsMario LaudicinaBernie MadoffLarry SangerMartin ShkreliHal TurnerJimbo Wales

    Ideology / Politics

    Bailout PlanCapitalismCommunismGlobalisationGovernmentGun controlHealth Care RageIceslaveJudaismKarl MarxObamacareRon PaulAyn RandRandroidSocialistRonald ReaganWelfareZeitgeist MovementZeitgeist - The Movie

    Selling

    AdvertisingBitcoinBriberyExtreme AdvertisingBilly MaysPorn AdvertisementsShamwowSpamSubservient ChickenWinnebago ManGeorge Zimmer

    Topics

    419 Nigerian Email ScamsThe Dot.Com BubbleEconomistEconomyForeign GirlfriendInternet moneyJew GoldMoneyPoorProfitRape dollarsScientologyToilet Paper Hoarding


    Money
    is part of a series on

    Life

    [BRB HugboxGo Live One]