Several things are still being worked on behind the scenes, news about it coming soon
For spam reasons: email [email protected] after account creation to ask for editing approval.


Main PageRandom

Michael Kenneth McLendon

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Budd Dwyer.gif
Lose an iPod?

This page contains an hero.
Mama's little soldier...
Michael Kenneth McLendon
Nationality: Americunt  MiniflagUSA.png
Highscore Killed 10, injured 6
Top 50? No
Style FPS, singleplayer
An Hero? Yes


Michael Kenneth McLendon was a notorious basement dweller and redneck hillbilly NEET who decided to play Redneck Rampage IRL by committing the 2009 Geneva County Massacre in which he initiated a massive pwnage through the cities of Kinston, Samson, and Geneva with his kool tactical Airsoft gunz. In other words, IT'S NERF OR NOTHING!

Perpetrator

The hillbilly in question responsible for this horrible tragedy was 28-year-old Michael Kenneth McLendon of Kinston, Alabama, who was reportedly living in his mother's basement at the time of the shooting. Born in 1980, his parents would divorce and he was sent to live with his aunt and uncle, where they most likely taught him to live by 5 principles:

  1. God
  2. Country Girls
  3. Beer
  4. Guns
  5. And most importantly: GUNNNZZZZZ!

He was reportedly a "straight-A student" in school and was your typical quiet psychopath, which is no wonder considering most rednecks are violent psychotic sociopaths. He was reportedly unmarried and worked a number of short-lived jobs such as a worker at a sausage factory, a cop (but he failed basic training after a week and a half), and a worker at Reliable Products. Geneva County was undergoing an economic recession in the years before the massacre, so it's honestly a fucking miracle that this evil vile redneck1111!!!! even managed to find a job in the first place. He also tried to apply for the Marines, but much like his attempt at law enforcement, he failed to apply, probably because they knew he was a drunken gun nut who liked to hit on teh wimminz. Soon Mikey begin to stockpile on weapons and ammunition believing teh evil American government was going to take away our gunz and shiet!! Haha, no. He's just a typical redneck.

Shooting

Class Setup
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: Bushmaster XM-15
GTA4IconsM4.png
  • An AR-15 variant. Typical mass shooting weapon. Deals 50-95 pts of damage depending on how good your aim is.
  • Secondary Primary: SKS Carbine
70px
  • Soviet-made carbine rifle made in the 50s. Makes you wonder if he was a redneck commie. Does 40-85 pts of damage. Can be a one-shot kill at times.
  • Secondary: 12-Gauge Shotgun
GTA4IconsM870.png
  • Secondary (Handgun): .38 Caliber Pistol
GTA4Icons1911.png
  • An unspecified .38 caliber handgun. Most likely the gun he killed himself with. Does 23-50 pts of damage.

On March 10th, 2009, our boy Mikey decided to go on a fit of drunken redneck rage by gathering his stockpiled weapons and ammo, killing his mother, and burning the interior of the safehouse. To prove to you how much of a "vile evil redneck psycho!!!11" he was, he also killed their 3 dogs! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!! Michael then drove to his uncle's house, where he ambushed his uncle, 2 cousins, a neighbor, and the neighbor's infant daughter. The aunt, however, got away and escaped unharmed, and the infant managed to survive her gunshot wounds. Mikey then went next door and killed his maternal grandma because her homemade cookies tasted like shit! McLendon then got back in his car and started to drive around, shooting people from his car GTA4 style. He then drove up to a gas station, where he fired rounds and killed an attendant. Afterwards, he killed a motorist who drove past him and killed some other dude as he tried to escape, but was obviously no match for Killbilly! He then got back in his car and drove onto a highway, where his wanted level raised to 4 stars as he continued to shoot at other people while the police were on his ass. During the chase, police tried to do a PIT maneuver on him, but he ensured them moar lulz by shooting and wounding an officer. He then arrived at his old workplace and ran inside, where he then engaged in a shootout with the pigs, but as expected from a hillbilly, he hits no one. Realizing he's fucked and he's got no escape, he offs himself with one final shot to the head. The lulz was so high in Geneva County that federal troops were called in to guard the streets of Samson. Apparently, it was a violation of some protocol, but who cares, amirite?

Aftermath

As said earlier, a FUCKTON of ammo was found in his car, which made some think he was planning on killing a helluva lot more. If this is the case, he obviously failed, because the high score holder in America at the time was Cho Seung-Hui, with 32 kills. That's pretty impressive for a b- I MEAN Azn!

Now, you think there would be a massive uproar for gun control, right? Well, YOU'RE WRO- Just kidding. Yes, obviously, there was, because America, but this shooting was ultimately ignored because mass shootings are too common, so NOBODY gave a shit except Alabamians. On the other hand, however, Michael managed to get the high score in Alabama! So that means to you, Mikey, YOU WIN!

The next day, on the 11th, 17-year-old Tim Kretschmer went amok in die Schule auf Deutschland, racking up 15 kills and coming close to dethroning Robert Steinhäuser, who was just one kill ahead of him. The German media tried to blame the Geneva County Massacre for Tim's actions, thinking he was inspired by it. Well, spoiler alert, HE WASN'T!

Motive

Believe it or not, some people think Mikey went amok because of a family argument over a Bible! Yeah, this just shows you how some Christians are hypocritical. Love thy neighbor MY ASS! MOAR LIKE KILL THY NEIGHBOR!

However, police and family members also suspected that he was pissed because he failed at life, and so he decided to just end it. At the home, police found a handwritten list of co-workers and supervisors who he perceived wronged him. Before his chimp-out, he also complained that his mother's family was not supporting her, which suggests that he was a mama's boy. He also had a suicide note in which he stated that he and his mother "suffered enough".

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 10/20 Injured 6
Accuracy: 12/20 40% accuracy rating
Style: 13/20 Redneck Rampage (2009 Remaster)
Butthurt: 20/20 Worst mass shooting in Alabama, gave Geneva County PTSD
Bonus: 15/20 Hillbilly chimpout
Total Score: 70/100 (C)
Killbilly
See full ranking


Wanted Level:
___________________

Wantedstar.png Wantedstar.png Wantedstar.png Wantedstar.png Wantedstar.png

___________________

Wanted5nationalguard.png


National Guard


See Also

External Links


HighScoreLeft.png
Michael Kenneth McLendon is part of a series on HSTButton.png
[Game Over][Insert Coin]
HighScoreRight.png
Ranked Mode (Single Player)

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikAndrew KehoeAriana Grande MassacreBaruch GoldsteinBrenton TarrantCampo Elías DelgadoCharles Whitman's TumorCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyFort HoodJack Gilbert GrahamJames HubertyJeffrey DahmerLuby's massacreMartin BryantMutsuo ToiNice Truck Attack 2016Omar MateenPatrick CrusiusReina Nightclub MassacreSagamihara StabbingsShinji AobaStephen PaddockTed BundyVladislav RoslyakovWoo Bum-kon

Casual Mode (Single Player)

Aaron AlexisAlexandre BissonnetteAli David SonbolyAnton Lundin PetterssonAurora Theatre ShootingBreda Highschool MassacreBreitscheidplatzBruce Jeffrey PardoCapital Gazette ShootingCharles BishopChris Harper-MercerConnor BettsDallas Sniper AttacksDavid KatzDavid Malcolm GrayDavid LongDeath to Traitors, Freedom for BritainDerrick BirdDeWayne CraddockDimitrios PagourtzisDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerÉric BorelGabe ParkerGeorge SodiniGian Luigi FerriJames Alex FieldsJared Lee LoughnerJason DaltonJason RodriguezJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJesse OsborneJiverly VoongJoe StackJohn Russel HouserJosef FritzlKhalid MasoodKimveer GillKip KinkelLam Kor WanMamoru TakumaMarc LepineMark BartonMark EssexMatthew de GroodMichael CarnealMichael Kenneth McLendonMichael RyanMikese MorseMr. SaariNghtmrchld26Nikolas CruzPekka-Eric AuvinenPennsylvania School StabbingRamadan Van ManRandy StairRobert BalesRobert BowersRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserSantino William LeganSayfullo SaipovSaint Petersburg Metro bombingThe Twinkie ManThomas Watt HamiltonTim KretschmerTJ LaneTrystan Andrew TerrellUnabomberWade Michael PageZhao ZeweiZug Massacre

Co-Operative Mode

1-14 Jakarta AttacksBoston Marathon BombingCharlie HebdoColumbineHiroshima and NagasakiJews did WTCPearl HarborSan Bernardino shootingSandniggers in ParisSri Lanka Easter BombingsTimothy McVeigh

Sid Meier's Civilization

Adolf HitlerAugusto PinochetCharles MansonHeaven's GateHolocaustJonestownJoseph StalinKim Il-sungMao ZedongOsama bin LadenPol PotSaddam HusseinWacoWorld War II

Banned From Scoring

Asa CoonBilly MitchellBrian Isaack ClydeJohn EarnestLogan ClarkNasim AghdamSam HydeSol PaisTodd RogersWilliam Atchison

 
Jailsuicide.gif
Michael Kenneth McLendon
is part of a series on
An Heroes

[iPodXbox]

Budd Dwyer.gif
Failures

Crystal ShinkleDylann Storm RoofJeffree MoonLolo FerrariOperation YewtubeOwen WilsonPogoRooRex FowlerSirtom93The Great Sonic-cide of 2007Toaster SteveTumbles the Stairdragon

Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAcidChanAdam LanzaAdolf HitlerAlan TuringAmanda ToddAn HaloStephanie Michelle BrownAndrew KoenigAsa CoonBob8466Brandon CrispBrigit Lorena GonzalezBroady Paul LedetBruce "Satan Claus" PardoBudd DwyerCandyjunkieCharles BishopCharmaine DragunChris BenoitChris DornerChristine ChubbuckChristopher FosterCho Seung-HuiCodey PorterDavid RitchesonDennis AvnerDustin MichaelsDylan KleboldEmma JonesEric HarrisGeorge SodiniGizgizHannah BondHeath LedgerHunter S. ThompsonImma-The-DeerJake RobertsJames LeshkevichJarrad WillisJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJenny GrantJiverly VoongJodie Gater and Stephanie GestierJoe StackJonathan Kendrick LewisJustin-anonKate SpadeKevin Neil WhitrickMarvin HeemeyerKimveer GillKlerckKurt CobainLeelah AlcornLil PeepLivecorpseMatthias SchoormannMario FerreyraMegan MeierMercedes HerreraMichael RyanMitchell HendersonMr. HandsMatti SaariJosh BallardNghtmrchld26Otoya YamaguchiPaula GoodspeedPekka-Eric AuvinenPhilip MarkoffPhoebe ConnopQuentin HubbardRachele RuddRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRichard JeniRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickSadie DavilaSam LeesonSebastian BosseShane HalliganShaun DykesShawn WoolleyShayStephen KazmierczakStephen HuffSteve StephensStiletto oneTang YongmingTatiana the TigerThe An Heroes of BridgendTim KretschmerTiziana CantoneTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler ClementiTyler DumstorfTyler PetersonVester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan IIXallyfacex

Related Pages

90 Day JaneAn hero dayask.fmAutoerotic asphyxiationColumbineGolden iPodHeaven's GateHigh ScoreHow to become an heroMydeathspacePseudocideShotgun mouthwashSuicideThreatening suicideVirginia Tech massacreWaco