⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️
There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.
Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically) Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
.onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)
Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.
If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.
You can also email me via [email protected]
Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.
Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021!
|78px||This article is entirely factual. |
Fact Cat knows this because of his learnings.
Matt Crimmins aka MattGRAVE aka Corblo II aka Matticus666 aka Matt Ballinger (irl) is an 19-year-old McDonald's fry cook, goth fucktard, and aspiring baby-daddy of 17-year-old-girl FROSTBRAT aka FROSTBITE |A/p|. What you are about to read is a textbook example about what happens to conceited /b/-tards when they try to run shit on ED when they don't have a clue about what it's all about. He also likes to throw people's shirts on top of roofs for lulz.
Can't We All Just Get Along?
It was a slow day on Encyclopedia Dramatica's new ED Users mailing list, which is known as WhiteMystery's "less frightening and confusing IRC Chatroom". However it can never be predicted when the next lolcow will come along.
It all started with a fairly innocuous request for some wiki technical help from someone of no importance, which was promptly and helpfully answered. Then for seemingly no reason Matt Crimmins aka Matt Ballinger chimed in with the delightfully composed:
- Clearly this is a case of a man who mistakenly believes that he is anonymous, when that was not the case.
The Lulz Begin
With great haste, the datamining began by a number of EDiots, various MySpace's  , Deviantart's  and vampirefreak  profiles were uncovered.LOOK AT HIS Xbox 360 gamertag. Nice Harry Potter game... faggot.
What can be gathered is that Matt:
- Has a new girlfriend who will soon likely disover Matt's true paedophiliac nature.
- Is a 20 year old Emo / Goth Vampire from 47 Diamond Ave, Glenwood, Sydney, NSW 2768, Australia.
- Can be contacted at +61 433 369 480 (0433 369 480) or +61 405 089 857 (0405 089 857)
- Works in McDonald's
Has a band "Outside Your Box that according to MattHas a new band called "Void My Mind".
sounds like "the makings of child pornography.".
- Thinks his hair straighteners make him "look sexy".
- Pretends to run a shitty nu-metal nightclub called Midnight Asylum.
- Is a pedophile: who "Likes" - "Pussy, tight and young and shaven.".
- Dislikes attention whores, despite his 33 cell-phone self-portraits on MySpace.
- Likes to write suicide notes on Deviantart but it "is not an attention seeking thing".
- Describes himself here as "true freak from Sydney, Australia repping up the industrial scene with my crew of misfits in the Western Suburbs District. I frequent Club Blink in the city and various gigs and dives. Knocking back drinks with my mates is definitely a pastime of mine. Im always up for fun =] Im like a fucking Transformer, More then meets the eye. =]"
- Is a racist who "Dislikes : Anyone who isn't from our culture".
- From the comments on his numerous profiles, Matt is very probably cheating on his girlfriend.
Srsly Claire it looks like he cybers with many other sluts.
- Holy shit they let these people breed.
- Cannot speak HTML
- Thinks having a girlfriend proves he's not gay.
- Needs his ED user page vandalized
- Is very quickly raping his own internet profiles of the lulz. too late screen-grabbed / saved.
- Has confirmed his FAGGOTRY by saying this about his girlfriend: "She seems to be me, placed in a womans [sic] body. Odd. But it works."
- Likes throwing shirts on roofs.
Let's Make Babies
Claire's DavianTART page is completely devoid of artwork. In fact, it would be completely worthless if not for her journal entries, where we get to watch a stupid teenage girl drop out of school and get pregnant in just a few short paragraphs.
—Claire, making plans for the future
—Matt, knows that their hearts will go on
13 days pass...
—Claire, giving up all hope for the future
—Matt, gonna be a daddy
Reaction to this Article
- Matt on MySpace as "Matt is Jesus"
- Matt on bebo
- Matt on VampireFreaks
- Matts Deviantart
- Matt's Band Project: 616
- Another of Matt's "Bands" - sounds like "the makings of child pornography." apparently.
- Matt's girlfriend Claire .. pussy assumed to be young, shaved and tight.
- Frostbite on bebo ... more kissy-kissy shit
- Matt's Baby-Mommy's Deviantart
|Matt Crimmins is part of a series on
[Embrace your inner darkness]
|Featured article December 28, 2007|
419 Nigerian Email Scams
|Matt Crimmins||Succeeded by|
Internet Vigilante Group