Mark Essex

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I'ma keel you for dressin me up like this, Honky!

Mark Essex was a N'awlins Black Panther and dumb nigger IRL troll before you were born who went for a high score pwning "just honkies" and then proceeded (because he was ruh-TARD-ed) to murder a black police officer. His plan was simple. He took his .44 Magnum Ruger Deerslayer to the police station and waited in the parking lot for pigs to come out. After scoring two kills (one black), he got away on foot, not because he was too poor to own a car, but because niggers have extra ligaments in their legs which make them faster than cars.

Deader'n shit. Hmm...this'un here's gon' be good eatin'!

Using his finger-like monkey toes he then swung up from a nearby tree onto the roof of the Downtown Howard Johnson, gaining perfect sniper position and for over ten hours picked off rescue workers, cops and other bystanders while shouting down Niggerish such as "Free Africa! Come on up, pigs!" and "Come on out, you honky motherfuckers! You afraid to fight like a black man?"

Over the noise of the shooting, Essex’s high-pitched screech could be heard, “Die, you fucking pigs!"


'Step away from the dead nigger...while we wait for the forks.'

The Pigs Fire Back

The honky pigs thought they were smart and sent up a ghetto bird full of machine gunners to pwn his ass 'Nam style but he was faster than the bullets and took cover under a concrete cubicle for the night. In the morning thinking everyone had gone home Essex walked out and got super-pwned by police snipers and Marine machine gunners who all simultaneously unloaded into his black ass achieving a record score of over two hundred killshots on a single target while fapping furiously to the image of a fresh bloody nigger corpse.

The police then ate the body, adding hot sauce and spitting the bullets out like watermelon seeds and washing it all down with 40 OZ. cans of ©Magnum malt liquor.


Niggerish Good writing

Scared of the draft and a total pussy, Essex joined the Navy, earning the valorous position of Dental Assistant. But Essex was a nigger and he was black, and at the Naval base the white officers were "treating (him) like a nigger!" and calling him "black boy." This was too much truth. And because the truth is the source of all the world's butthurt (and because there were no chitlins), Essex's ass began to bleed hate for the White Man and his goddamn reasonable attitudes and functional institutions. Discovering he was too much of a pussy even for the Navy, the young Essex thought he might fit in with the Black Panthers Pussies, who also bled from their asses and blamed the White Man. There he was taught how to write militant retarded Niggetry on his walls, like "Shoot the devil like you shoot a dog pig pig" and "kill black pig devil" and "Hate white people dick dirt."


honky pig food

After the rooftop riflefun, Black-est Panther Stokely Carmichael confused everyone by using big words and counting past 10.

We should study and learn from the actions of Brother Jimmy Essex. We should understand that Brother Essex carried our struggle to its next quantitative level, the level of science.


Black Power

Of course none of the brothers understood what the fuck dude was talking about or what science was (unless he was referring to Essex's Dentistry background??) and the Panthers continued to be better known as the Black Pussies because as everybody knows if you call yourselves the "Panthers" you're obviously a bunch of Fags. And anyway, none of the other brothers seemed to follow Brother Essex in becoming lulzy honky pig killers because they and the honky pigs were of a like mind on one thing: it's more fun to kill niggers.

"Right On!"

Knowing that the sniper’s targets were whites, and understanding his hatred all-too-well, some black onlookers greeted the sniper’s rifle shots with enthusiastic cries of “Right on!”


With the help of this soul chorus down on the street shouting things like "There go one over thar! Keel him too!", Essex was able to pierce the guts and blow the faces off of many deserving honkies and honky pigs. The police on the ground then accidentally turned their guns on the nigger cheerleaders, but failed to score.

Graded Score

Graded score
Kill count: 9/20 13 Injured
Accuracy: 16/20
Style: 18/20 Shot and Ran, like a causal Nigger
Butthurt: 17/20
Bonus: 15/20 GTA in 1970s
Total score: 75/100 (C+)
Thank you, Micah's grandfather
See full ranking

See Also

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Mark Essex is part of a series on High Scores
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Mark Essex is part of a series on Psychopaths
3g1h-phone3.jpg Spree/One-time Killers:

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikCasey AnthonyGerry McCannCho Seung-HuiTyler PetersonMark EssexDylan KleboldDylann Storm RoofEric HarrisMaurice ClemmonsAaron AlexisBruce Jeffrey PardoElliot RodgerGeorge SodiniJiverly VoongMalik Nadal HasanJared Lee LoughnerJeff WeiseJoe StackJosef FritzlJason RodriguezMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMatti SaariMatthew MurrayPekka-Eric AuvinenWade Michael PageTheodore "The Unabomber" KaczynskiTim KretschmerTJ LaneRobert HawkinsRaoul MoatAlex Hribal

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Charles MansonChris BenoitHitlerMao ZedongJack the RipperJames HolmesRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed BundyJeffrey Dahmer


Al-QaedaDzhokar TsarnaevTamerlan TsarnaevOsama Bin Laden

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderParanoid personality disorderSick fuckMurderJewsPolice Brutality