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    Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17

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    Official flag of Malaysia

    Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 was a commercial cargo ship carrying 100 AIDS researchers that was either shot down by retarded slavs parading Putin's military equipment or a false flag operation by the Ukraine government to incriminate their domestic insurgency. The plane was shot down on July 17th en route to Melbourne by a BUK surface-to-air missile in a monumental firework display that resulted in a shower of charred remains spreading a nine mile radius and a local high-school chemistry teacher left cleaning out fallen debris from his swimming pool.

    Some argue that a bunch of Slav rebels were fighting over a hunk of dirt that should be turned into the next Chernobyl and blew up the plane. They thought about hijacking and pulling a 9/11 but gave up on that idea, as Ukraine is nothing but a shitty gray concrete apartment complex and nobody would care. Others suggest that the Ukrainian Army blew up the plane on purpose, hacked the Twitter account of the rebel leader who ordered the shot, and released a fabricated phone conversation which equated to an admission of guilt. Putin believes it was an assassination attempt on himself. Others believe Israel did it to distract people from their attack on Gaza just like how JEWS DID WTC.

    Everyone is wrong. Pilot Parker crashed the fucking plane.

    Passengers

    MH17 Malaysia Airlines.jpg
       
     
    The rain in Ukraine • Is human remains • Falling mainly from the plane
     

     
     

    File:Putin-laughing.jpg
    Putins reaction to the accident.


    298 people fell to their fiery deaths. Of them, 80 were children (sadly, no manchildren). 189 were Dutch, 44 Malaysians, 27 Aussies, 12 from Indonesia, 9 Britfags, 4 Krauts, 4 from Belgium, 3 Pinoys, one lonely Canadian, an Americunt/Pindos, and a Kiwi if that even counts as a human. 4 are still unverified. This total does not include Pilot Parker, hailing from Parts Unknown.

    AIDS Researchers

    Fred Phelps fapping from the grave.

    Approximately 100 of the world's top AIDS/HIV researchers were on board the flight, heading to a conference in Melbourne. This marks a crippling blow for both homos and Afrikaans, as they realize that their only hope for survival relied on people who travel to Australia. Devout members of the Westboro Baptist Church are pleased and are expected to make a statement about how they were right all along. Ironically, Russia happened to be 13th place in the world in terms of aids victim, making it looks like they shot themselves when playing Russian roulette with their foot.

    Lightning Strikes Twice

    An Australian family who had lost two of their loved ones on Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 hit the jackpot again and lost another one on MH17!. Surviving members are expected to win the lottery in the coming weeks, only to die in a future Malaysian Airlines flight. By lottery, we mean lawsuit, and by future Malaysian Airlines flight, we mean a plane will strike their home.

    Theories

    As with anything that involves politics, war, and death, a number of conspiracy theories have surfaced.

    Numbers Theory


    The Prime number 17 was called by the Pythagoreans – opposition, obstruction, evil, and the day the Devil triumphed over God.

    Malaysia Airlines flight #MH17, a Boeing 777 is shot down on 17/7/14 apparently after being built 17 years ago. Perhaps this speech in the video above, this occult message was an order given to whomever by her to shoot this plane down as maybe a sacrifice or a false flag to further their goals? If you dont understand the connection watch the video first then you will get it. It also had 295 people on board. 2+9+5 = 16 1+6 = 7.

    Reporter said flight departure was 11:14 (1+1+1+4=7) and to arrive at 06:10 (6+1=7)

    First Flight: 17 July 1997 Last Flight: 17 July 2014 Age: 17 Years

    295 people gone.

    295 = 5 * 59 59 = 17th Prime Number 17 = 7th Prime Number, this just keeps getting weirder and weirder…

    TAKE YOUR MEDS



    Pilot Parker

    File:MH17 Fasten your seat belt.png
    This is your pilot speaking.
    Bon Voyage!

    Pilot Parker always had the best of intentions, but he wasn't known to be the most cunning pilot on Malaysian Airline's payroll. Regardless, he was still put charge of the flight and the airline toted it as his next big adventure. Sadly, his adventure would end mid-flight over the Ukraine. Some argue that Pilot Parker had detonated a bomb, but since there was no suicide note or motive, his true intentions shall remain a mystery. It appears that Pilot Parker's presence were the source of rumours that Pedobear himself had been killed in the explosion. Such reports were greatly exaggerated however, Pedobear is in fact alive and well and currently headed to the Ukraine to rape the dead babies.

       
     
    Fasten your seatbelts, Pilot Parker is ready for his next adventure.
     

     
     

    —Chilling final words from Malaysian Airlines.





    Bad Vlad

    As told by webcomics.
    File:MH17 Airplane Putin.jpg
    Putin evading yet another assassination attempt.
    Most likely outcome of this.
     
     
    I can say that Putin’s plane and the Malaysian Boeing intersected at the same point and the same echelon. That was close to Warsaw on 330-m echelon at the height of 10,100 meters. The presidential jet was there at 16:21 Moscow time and the Malaysian aircraft - 15:44 Moscow time. The contours of the aircrafts are similar, linear dimensions are also very similar, as for the coloring, at a quite remote distance they are almost identical.
     

     

    —Case closed



    In a desperate attempt to place the blame on anyone but the ragtag militia he's been funneling money and mercenaries to, Vladimir Putin announced that his presidential plane had been flying in the same air-zone less than a half hour before MH17 went down. Clearly, the Ukraine Army were trying to assassinate him and instead hit a commercial airliner. After realizing their mistake, the Ukraine hacked the Twitter account of a militia general and announced that he had taken down what he thought was an AN-26 Military Cargo plane. In a cunning display of social engineering, the Ukraine then deleted that tweet to make it look as if the General had posted it on accident. At the same time, they released a completely fake intercepted telephone conversation between militants and their Russian contacts, taking blame for the accident. To nail the coffin shut on this obvious false flag, Ukraine intelligence officers had also hacked the twitter accounts of several militants and posted pictures of them standing next to the BUK that was used to shoot down MH17.

    tl;dr - Putin did nothing wrong.

    Feminist mh17.jpg
    Stop oppressing MH17!




    Intercepted Phone Call Between Separatists and Russians


    Translation:
    
    17.07.2014 about 16:20 terrorists lead by "Bes" (citizen of Russian Federation I. Bezler) used russian SAM to take down civil aircraft model "Boing 777" that belonged to Malaysian airline company "Malaysia Airlines" that was performing flight Amsterdam - kuala lumpur
    
    About 16:40 "Bes" has reported about shot down aircrasft to his superior - colonel GERANIN VASILIY MIKOLAYEVICH - of Main Reconassence Agency
    
    Bes - "A plane has just been shot down. "Miner's" group did it. It fell down a bit further of Enakievo" Heranin "Pilots - where are pilots?"
    
    Bes: "Gone to search for and take pictures of the aircraft taken down. Smoking..."
    
    Heranin: "How much minutes ago?"
    
    Bes "About 30 minutes ago"
    
    After looking around of crash site terrorists have come to conclusion that they had taken down a civil aircraft
    
    Conversation between "Major" and "Hrek: follows:
    
    Hrek: "Yes, Major!"
    
    Major: "So chernuhinskie guys took down the plane. From Chernuhino block-post. The cossaks that are stationed on Chernuhino"
    
    Major: "So plane fell apart in air, near Pertopoltavskaya mine. First "200" found. A civil person"
    
    Hrek: "What's going on there?"
    
    Major: "Well, fuck, it was 100% a civil aircraft"
    
    Hrek: "How many people?"
    
    Major: "Holy fuck! PArts of the plane fell in yards (meaning house yeards ) "
    
    Hrek" What kind of aircraft?
    
    Major: "I still have no clue because i wasn't near it's main part. I'm currrently looking at the place where first bodies fell"
    
    Major: "there are leftovers of internal brakets, seats, bodies
    
    Hrek: "Ane weapons?"
    
    Major: "Nothing at all. Civil things, medical things, towels, toilet paper"
    
    Hrek" Any documents?"
    
    Major: "Yes, Indonesian student. From Tompson University"
    
    Militia: "About the plane that was shot down near Snezhniy - Torez. It was a civil aircraft. It fell near Grabovo. There's a shit tonn of women and children corpses. Cossaks are now looking the place around."
    
    Militia: "They say over TV that it's a Ukranian AN-26 transport aircraft, but they say it has "Malaysian Airlines" written over it. And what did he do on Ukranian territory?"
    
    M. Kozicin: "So they were bringing in the spies. I dunno. No fucking flying around. It's war over there." 
    

    tl;dr - The pilot, passengers and dead babies were all asking for it.

    Gallery

       
     
    Now this is the story all about how
    my plane went flip turned upside down
    Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there
    I'll tell you how I was shot down in Ukrainian air.

     

     
     

    Wreckage

    [Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]



    Misc



    Videos


    Captain Janks prank call MSNBC

    Flight MH17 Theme Song

    get rekt scrubs



    See Also



    External Links


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    Featured article July 19 & 20, 2014
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    Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 Succeeded by
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