In the beginning
MKULTRA started out as an excuse for the CIA to use LSD. CIA agents slipped LSD into people's drinks to observe its effects. When asked about the operation, the CIA said they did it for the lulz. As with any awesome story, retards tried to ruin the awesomeness of what really happened.
What MKULTRA is known for
- Steve Irwins Death
- Gulf War 2
- JFK Assassnation
- Pink Floyd
- Call of Duty: Black Ops
What really happend
Back in the 50s, a scientist dropped some acid, loved it and thought it would be awesome to share his new found love to the world. At first, he dropped acid into other scientists' drinks and laughed his ass off while they where screaming about how their dead grandma was a fetus climbing up their legs with a knife in their mouth down the hall. Ever one for a good joke, the CIA got millions of dollars in government funding for "research" into new interrogation techniques and supposed mind control while using LSD, but in reality they just wanted the government to pay them to trip balls.
— BRING ON THE LSD MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!
Awesome things with kids
Not satisfied with putting LSD in each others drinks, the CIA decided to kidnap children to share their love of LSD with them. The scientists would tie down the kids for weeks at a time, rape them and subject them to sensory deprivation by forcing them to listen to jam bands like Phish and The Grateful Dead. After passing through music hell, they were injected with Ebola, Hepatitis, and AIDS and then mind-wiped out of mercy because anyone who was subjected to jam bands for that long would've killed themselves.
The kids were then sold to white parents under one condition: the children had to be fed radiation or they would hulk out and destroy the world. When one mother was asked how she could buy her children and feed them radiation, she said she did it for the lulz.
MKULTRA and celebrities
Not wanting to be left out, the original Black people of America decided to get Tiger Woods in on the fun. Dumb ass racists can't believe that a black man can make millions of dollars on his own so they lie to themselves and others that the government is most likely involved whenever a black man does well. Here are some signs MKULTRA has its meaty paws on our celebrities:
- Elvis had 3 Television sets in front of his seat, each on at the same time and tuned to a different channel.
- Kurt Cobain had suicidal tendencies, a common symptom in MKULTRA agents.
- Madonna is a Kabbalist, the Kabbalistic tree of life being a very common symbol in illuminati culture, as well as in the Jew conspiracy.
- Britney originated from The Disney Club, Disney being the pedophile capital of the United States. The hardest part was convincing her to quit the meth and replace it with LSD; often a problem with rednecks.
- Michael Jackson's whole career was controlled by the CIA, according to reputable sources
- Elke Sommers- Bob Hope was her controller
- Joey Hetherton-Again, Hope at the helm.
- Marilyn Monroe-How else did they get her to suck off Ted Kennedy?
Jonestown and born again Christians
Fearful that the government was gonna take its LSD away, the CIA decided to make a secret cult to continue spreading their love of LSD to the world. In 1973, they recruited Jim Jones, a doubly-employed small town pastor and Spawn of the KKK to create one of the most awesome religions out there: The Born Again Christians. Thanks to MKULTRA, they have created many fine upstanding individuals such as these:
- Karla Faye Tucker/ executed pick-axe killer/ former prostitute , called herself a "Born Again " Christian
- Henry Lee Lucas , multiple murderer /vagrant /"Born Again " christian claimed he was a hitman for a Satanic cult Henry Lee Lucas
- David Berkowitz/"Son of Sam"/former Jew... satanic connections to his murders... calls himself a "Born Again" Christian
- Jeffrey Dahmer . murdered 15 people. son of "Born Again" Christian father , Church of Christ, re-baptised in prison
- Mark Chapman.. John Lennon's murderer.. calls himself a "Born Again" Christian
- Charles Tex Watson, henchman of Charles Manson/Satanic murderer, calls himself a "Born again Christian"
- Ted Bundy /executed multiple Killer/Born Again Christian
- Velma Barfield/executed killer/Born Again Christian
- The Shankill Butchers/Northern Ireland . multiple murderers / suspected Satanic connections, many former members call themselves "Born Again Christians"
- JonBennet Ramsay...died on Dec 25th 1996 . parents are "Born Again Christians"
On top of throwing awesome LSD parties and trolling your friends, MKULTRA was used to breed sleeper agents to fight the Commie Menace in the 60s. Women who had no family or friends would be kidnapped, brainwashed, raped, impregnated and dropped off in the middle of nowwhere. (Why they didn't simply use hookers is beyond me). When the women brought the baby to term, they where kidnapped a second time, their baby stolen, raped once more so they could make a replacement, and dumped in the same isolated place they where left the last time. The stolen kids went on for spy training, and when they reached 10 years of age, they were dropped off in another country(probably after getting them high on LSD and a bit of rape) to be raised by the locals until their 'sleeper' keyword would be said to them. Once the kid's latent training was 'activated', they would go all Rambo and kill townspeople until they exploded in a fireball.
Muse Joins In The Fun
Britfag alternative rock band Muse decided that alien consiracies just wasn't enough, and decided that they had to continue to piss of their government, and every other government with another pointless song about pointless shit, shit that nobody cares about.
- Read the files for yourself
- The evils of MKULTRA
- Tiger Woods
- Women crying about rape
- The evils of born again christians
- RationalWiki at
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