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—LtFlagger the Pedophile
—LtFlagger, describing his perfect crime.
LtFlagger (Power Word: Adam Tyldak) is a family-leaving pedophile who frequents the game Subspace/Continuum. At the height of his reign of terror, he was grooming a 15-year-old girl by the name of Tally3993 to be his sex slave. He was also notorious for paying the players on his Hockey Zone team, Scorgasms. Players were paid based on their statistical performance, and despite the fact that everyone on this team was awful, it is estimated that LtFlagger has spent at least 100 dollars of his own money on paying his players. When his unlimited disposable income ran out due to him being court-ordered to pay his child support payments, he vanished without a trace, leaving many talented internet athletes high and dry without their earnings.
LtFlagger first emigrated to Hockey Zone from another area of Subspace, Metal Gear CTF. At first, his arrival was not very noteworthy. Nothing was known about him other than that he was a greasy 27-year-old man from Illinois who worked some kind of IT job. That all changed on one fateful day, when LtFlagger decided to piss into an ocean of piss and introduce his girlfriend to the fine denizens of Hockey Zone.
LtFlagger is known for his high sense of unwarranted self-importance. He will frequently go out of his way to inject himself into chats and forum conversations to brag about himself, his love life, and his high-paying job. He has a very high view of himself in spite of the community's unanimous rejection of his child-grooming, pedophiliac tendencies and profound retardation. He apparently has no shame, going so far as to post pictures of his fat, greasy self with his underaged girlfriend.
In the span of one conversation, LtFlagger managed to morph himself into HZ's public enemy number one. By inviting his girlfriend and known minor, Tally3993, to come play Hockey Zone with him, LtFlagger showed that he clearly had no qualms with talking openly about their relationship, even though he is 12 years her senior. LtFlagger had also previously admitted that he had left his family, a wife and three kids, and bragged about refusing to pay child support. This fact made everyone rage even more as LtFlagger described, at length, his loving relationship with a minor:
GameChip> rofl LtFlagger> you can "holla" at the 15 year olds all you want LtFlagger> just cant touch them if yer older Splenetic> jailbait GameChip> splen Temperal> fuck you ga LtFlagger> only if you get sexual with them Hot Rodste> haha afh GameChip> ill get some girls for you tho Hot Rodste> u coudl fo just asked ice Splenetic> they dont have no hair down low Golden Arm> lol temp Splenetic> only good thing Splenetic> they havent grown hair Splenetic> lol LtFlagger> I know all about it LtFlagger> cuz I'm going through it Splenetic> r u a girl? LtFlagger> no GameChip> no Splenetic> lol GameChip> his girl is jewish tho LtFlagger> my gf is young Splenetic> u said ur going through it Dumpy> u can touch them Dumpy> if u want Dumpy> retard LtFlagger> not if I dont wanna go to jail :P Splenetic> nah i gotta claim Dumpy> u just cant touch them activation> wat Splenetic> i cant look at that Dumpy> in the wrong places LtFlagger> oh LtFlagger> yeah Golden Arm> f Golden Arm> fa LtFlagger> I kiss her plenty LtFlagger> but we dont have sex Dumpy> u can grab the ass too LtFlagger> or do anything that leaves evidence :P Dumpy> just not anywhere else Dumpy> kisses dont matter Dumpy> just aslong as u dont have sex loool LtFlagger> like I said LtFlagger> we dont have sex, plenty of other stuff though LtFlagger> nothing that leaves evidence Navimaster> what are you talking lt Navimaster> your gf? Dumpy> no 1 is gonna Trick-> how old r u LtF Dumpy> catch u guys LtFlagger> yea Dumpy> 27 LtFlagger> 27 trick GameChip> has hot girls there Dumpy> going out with 15 Trick-> how old is ur gf Leafy> LOL Dumpy> LOL Navimaster> how old is she again? Leafy> LOL LtFlagger> 15 LtFlagger> There is nothing illegal about dating LtFlagger> Already confirmed that with attornies bff> guy has to get legal advice before his dates lol bff> guy has to get legal advice before his dates lol bff> guy has to get legal advice before his dates lol Leafy> LOL Trick-> wow what Dumpy> LOL Splenetic> 27 and ur dating a 15 year old Leafy> LOL Dumpy> LO Leafy> LOL Dumpy> LOL Splenetic> HAHAH WHAT Dumpy> LOL
Tally3993 enters the arena to confirm the story, and reveals, among other things, that she is a young girl with problems at home, making her a prime target for LtF's grooming. Seriously, this shit can't be made up. The entire conversation reads like a log that Chris Hansen would be holding as he asks you to have a seat over there:
Tally3993> beacuse he treats me likea person he respcet me he doesnt try to use me or brag about anything he gets LtFlagger> only in here LtFlagger> mine? Reppotimus> Sad Leafy> hi pedo Reppotimus> ltflagger what's ur address LtFlagger> be more distinct Reppotimus> i am lookin up the local police department Reppotimus> for ur area togofoyo> night LtFlagger> reppo yer an idiot Reppotimus> what why The_Crushe> what's there to know? I am not in the middle of anything unless your refering to you mounting some sort of defense for yourself.. I know your and adult; that your attracted to a child; and that that makes you a pedophile according to dictionary.com Tally3993> u need names LtFlagger> I wouldnt give you my personal information regardless LtFlagger> And as I've said repeatedly Nub> You just made me choke on a strawberry LtFlagger> THERE IS NOTHING ILLEGAL ABOUT US DATING Reppotimus> my sister is 13 LtFlagger> You really need to educate yourself Reppotimus> if she dated a guy of ur age in 2 years LtFlagger> Jack: did you want 2 of MY flaws? Reppotimus> i would probbaly kill you togofoyo> reppo..me her LtFlagger> You could try, you would fail Mr.Jack+> that and relationship flaws David Seam> GET URSELF AN EDUMACATION @!*%RA LtFlagger> anyway Mr.Jack+> that u see LtFlagger> hmmm LtFlagger> ok LtFlagger> mine Tally3993> well at least she has people that care about her i dont Tally3993> well didnt Reppotimus> oh so basically this big yokel has made you feel loved LtFlagger> I am very jealous, and sometimes can be quite insecure, lacking in confidence Reppotimus> and now ur going to stay with him Mr.Jack+> ltflagger LtFlagger> both of which we openly discuss and talk about, isnt that right hun? Tally3993> yes Mr.Jack+> thts the thing br0 David Seam> i wonder if tally enjoys being a confused broken home soon-to-be-prostitute Reppotimus> there are plenty of fish ur age The_Crushe> I'm educated enough to know that if you even have your socks off in the same room as her your commiting a crime. your dating her dude your a pedo. what kind of relationship can a man almost 30 have with a damn 15 yearold? all her tales of junior h David Seam> no more Tally3993> i love him and nothing any of u say will chage that The_Crushe> amaze you Mr.Jack+> is insecure and lack of confidence y u dated freaks in the past LtFlagger> Crusher: you are wrong, again. Mr.Jack+> have u tried 2 fish bigger LtFlagger> Go relearn your "education" LtFlagger> no Reppotimus> ltflagger you should prolly just go to africa with her Reppotimus> no one would give u trouble there David Seam> ltflagger my good friend crusher brings up great points The_Crushe> yeah I guess it depends on what state you live in but in texas your screwed Tally3993> in entering sophmore year of hs David Seam> i have 3 questions Tally3993> not jhs LtFlagger> I dont know how I ended up with them. Not all of my relationships were like those 2. I used them as examples since they were marriages David Seam> 1: how do you fall in love with a 15 year old Mr.Jack+> tally Mr.Jack+> wut do u plan 2 b Mr.Jack+> ltflagger whatis your current career Tally3993> i have no idea David Seam> 2: that aside, is it not embarassing around friends when u say u date a 15 year old....its an insult to your intelligence Mr.Jack+> tally are you planning to go to college Tally3993> im just doing what i love right now and thats singing dancing drawing Leafy> oh my god Leafy> shes such a child LtFlagger> Crusher: I'll help you. [[Internet law|The law is that the contact must be sexual in nature, and must involve a define sexual area, such as breasts, vagina, penis.]] Leafy> thats what infants do Leafy> sing, dance, draw Tally3993> -.- Leafy> LOL LtFlagger> Jack: I'm an IT Manager David Seam> 3: as the crusher says.. how would you guys have anything in common youi being double her age and she being a freshmen in highschool Neverendin> My girlfriend like to sing dance and draw, wtf Leafy> kids only know 3 things, sing, dance , draw Reppotimus> this conversation is honestly golden Leafy> tally dont you have a curfew Tally3993> im in 2 chiors in school one is our scond best one and i do mucials and i love to dance and im really good at drawing Leafy> didnt mommy tuck u in David Seam> ltflagger can u answer my questions plz David Seam> i feel i deserve the truth David Seam> 1. are you some sort of outcast, id say 99% of males in our age would be ashamed of having a 15 year old girlfriend LtFlagger> Yes nub LtFlagger> heh LtFlagger> Not in the least david Reppotimus> did you see his picture Reppotimus> straight off of maury Nub> ROFL The game will start in 26 seconds. Nub> The fact that he isnt ashamed of having a 15 year old says a lot though. The_Crushe> so your an internet predator? LtFlagger> No reason to be ashamed David Seam> 2. even if you say ur some visionary who sees above cultural norms and taboo, do you think you could also possibly be a defective human who cant land a chick on his own mental maturity Reppotimus> david really giving this his all. i am impressed Tally3993> i mmore mature than u David Seam> sure kid David Seam> shut the fuck up and let adults talk Nub> David have you ever been in love or do all you care about is the size of one's T&A and how well they put out? Neverendin> That might be true actually Nub> Just out of curiousity David Seam> ok and finally my 3rd question Tally3993> no u shut up u dont know what my life has been like LtFlagger> Unfortunately, in todays society, you are as likely to find someone of equal "mental maturity" in a teen, as you are a mother of 3 Reppotimus> U DONT KNOW ME LtFlagger> Hun, calm down Reppotimus> ice cream usually works on kids her age lt Reppotimus> try that Tally3993> no he doesnt know the shit ive been though he cant judge me and u know it LtFlagger> Sweetie LtFlagger> Please calm down? LtFlagger> He is just trying to get you riled up David Seam> 3. you guys both have stated you are from broken homes that are fucked up, there is a correlation between this and these fucked up alternative lifestyles you feel are normal David Seam> what shit have u been through David Seam> and are you implying your better then me because you have been through feces LtFlagger> Why is this a "fucked up alternative"? Because it is considered taboo by TODAYS standards? For the vast majority of human history, she would have been married off and started a family with someone exactly like me by now. Sometimes "progress" is LtFlagger> anything but. David Seam> well ltflagger Reppotimus> for most of our history they didnt know a whole lot about mental development LtFlagger> I suppose my view of equality for everyone would also be a "fucked up alternative"? David Seam> during hte vast majority of human history black people used to rub sticks together and make ape noises in jungles LtFlagger> Reppo: We still dont. Reppotimus> we know more than we did
This news was, of course, taken in stride by everyone:
T LtFlagger> Everyone say goodbye T BobBarkerC> NONONON T A Band-Aid> Lol. T Makavelii> nooooooooooooo T Mr.Jack+> wer u going T Zanaz> wat noo T koho> PEDOPHILE T Mr.Jack+> dont leav3e T koho> PEDOPHILE T LtFlagger> You pissed her off T Makavelii> noooooooooooooooooo T A Band-Aid> Bye to who? T koho> PEDOPHILE T Makavelii> nooooooooooo T koho> PEDOPHILE T 2pacalypse> PEDO T X`terrania> PEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO T koho> PEDOPHILE T LtFlagger> And shes leaving T Sting> Stewizzle was the 1st victim of the sex ring T koho> PEDOPHILE T Stewizzle> PEDOPHILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE T cocain> PEDO T koho> PEDOPHILE T LtFlagger> I'm not leaving T LtFlagger> She is T BobBarkerC> THIS IS HOCKEY ZONE PEDOPHILE EVENTS NIGHT DONT LEAVE T LtFlagger> lol T Joe~Sakic> LTF i told u so long ago to ignroe these people they are idiots T koho> PEDOPHILE T Zanaz> compliment her quickly T X`terrania> least tally isnt 12 this time T Stewizzle> PEDOPHILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE T koho> PEDOPHILE T Joe~Sakic> u should have listened T X`terrania> now she's 15 T LtFlagger> Specifically T Dumpy> lt T koho> PEDOPHILE T koho> PEDOPHILE T wO> rofl T cocain> PEDOPHILE T Dumpy> and tally T Dumpy> wasd up T LtFlagger> Shes pissed at the DS people T man seekin> any 15 year old girls wanna chat T koho> PEDOPHILE T Dumpy> pedophile T X`terrania> ur makign quite the jump you small dick faggot T cocain> PEDOPHILE T koho> PEDOPHILE T Art of Mon> lol @ man seeking 15 yo T 2pacalypse> Ez T cocain> PEDOPHILE T koho> PEDOPHILE'PEDOPHILE'PEDOPHILE'PEDOPHILE'PEDOPHILE'PEDOPHILE'PEDOPHILE'PEDOPHILE T krystallin> ltflagger a/s/l T 2pacalypse> EZ T Makavelii> ltf is it her bedtime? T A Band-Aid> Lawl. T cocain> PEDOPHILE T Art of Mon> LOL @ MAN SEEKING FO T koho> PEDOPHILE T Autofire> I'm on your side ltf T LtFlagger> krys: 27/m/il T cocain> PEDOPHILE T Mr.Jack+> krys T koho> PEDOPHILE T cocain> PEDOPHILE T activation> PEDOPHILE T koho> PEDOPHILE T Mr.Jack+> 27 T X`terrania> 14/f/tx 7777 for older men convo T cocain> PEDOPHILE T X`terrania> 14/f/tx 7777 for older men convo T LtFlagger> uh, thx auto? T X`terrania> 14/f/tx 7777 for older men convo T koho> PEDOPHILE T cocain> PEDOPHILE T activation> PEDOPHILE T koho> PEDOPHILE T man seekin> aim 28 T cocain> PEDOPHILE T koho> PEDOPHILE T cocain> PEDOPHILE T Art of Mon> X has that shit down pat T Autofire> np T koho> PEDOPHILE T Makavelii> bye tally T cocain> PEDOPHILE T Art of Mon> Must do that often T koho> PEDOPHILE T cocain> PEDOPHILE T Makavelii> goodnight T koho> PEDOPHILE T cocain> PEDOPHILE T man seekin> im 28 T LtFlagger> thank god the ignore list has no limit
This shocking admission was followed up by numerous angry threads on the HZ message boards, demanding action against the family-leaving pedophile. LtFlagger's natural response was to post pictures of how happy he and Tally were together.
The lovely couple.
Tally3993 has never appeared in HZ again following this exchange, and LtFlagger has seldom mentioned her since. Her current status is unknown.
LtFlagger wanted to play for a team in Hockey Zone. He tried so hard to make himself attractive to any of the league rosters, going so far as to play the position everyone hates, goalie, on a regular basis. However, none of the existing teams would accept the pedophile onto their squad, citing irreconcilable differences.
When LtFlagger realized that he was not going to be accepted onto any of the existing league teams, he realized that his only course of action was to create a team of his own. However, realizing that nobody would want to play with a morally-bankrupt, child-molesting scumbag without some sort of incentive, he decided to kill two birds with one stone and offered to pay his players. This way, he could play on a team and flaunt around the fact that he makes so much money, he can afford to spend it on an internet spaceship hockey team. Don't ask him about his child support payments, though.
Every player on LtFlagger's team, Scorgasms, received a "contract" similar to the one below, which was offered to a player named WhiteIrishRebel. Of course, seeing as this contract was nothing more than a forum PM sent to each of his players, it was about as legal as a 27-year-old man having a romantic relationship with a minor. This led to many people being butthurt when LtFlagger was eventually court-ordered to pay his child support payments and promptly quit HZ forever.
Example Scorgasms Player Contract
SIGNING BONUS = $25
SINGLE GAME CONTRACTUAL AGREEMENTS
1) GOALS PER GAME = +.75
2) ASSISTS PER GAME = +.50
3) POSITIVE GOAL DIFFERENTIAL PER GAME (INDIVIDUALLY, NOT THE TEAMS) = +.25
4) WIN = $10
5) LOSS = $3
6) STEALS PER GAME = +.20
7) TURNOVERS PER GAME = -.10
8) CHECKS PER GAME = +.20
9) CHECKED PER GAME = -.10
1) +/- OF +15 OR HIGHER = $5
2) 15 POINTS = $5
3) OVER A 2 RPM (MINIMUM 250 IT) = $5
4) SKILLED SEASON AWARD = $10
PLAYOFF GAME CONTRACTUAL AGREEMENTS
1) GOALS PER GAME = +.75
2) ASSISTS PER GAME = +.50
3) POSITIVE GOAL DIFFERENTIAL PER GAME (INDIVIDUALLY, NOT THE TEAMS) = +.25
4) WIN = $12
5) LOSS = $3
6) STEALS PER GAME = +.40
7) TURNOVERS PER GAME = -.10
8 ) CHECKS PER GAME = +.40
9) CHECKED PER GAME = -.10
10) FIRST ROUND BYE = $25
BLACKIE CUP WIN
1) TOP 5 HIGHEST RATED PLAYERS (SEASONS + PLAYOFFS) = $25
LUKEZ LOSES BET
1) TOP 5 HIGHEST RATED PLAYERS (SEASON) = $20
Players on Scorgasms were given the choice of receiving the payments in installments after each game or in one lump sum. People who chose to receive payments in installments made some money, as they were paid at least initially. People who chose to receive their payment in one lump sum are retarded and received nothing.
—Stryke, a Scorgasms player
LtFlagger vanished from Hockey Zone (though he was likely hiding under an alias), but he was presumed to still be at large. His lack of remorse for taking advantage of a 15-year-old girl in a vulnerable situation, or his general lack of understanding that it was even wrong, implies that he was likely engaging in similar pedophiliac grooming activities with another underaged girl.
- Failure to appear on Driving on Suspended License in Illinois, whats the fine? - Notice the snideness with which he responds to the answerers. Hilarious since the deadbeat is asking for advice on his unpaid parking ticket.
- Looking for information about buying a house with bad credit, any advice? - How is someone with such terrible credit in a position to pay people to play for his internet sports team?
- What is the absolute minimum Credit Score a person can have to buy a house normally?
- Why is my Fiancee so hateful towards me? - As if this needs to be answered.
- Is it ok for my boyfriend to spy on me? - This question was then asked by his then-girlfriend on his Yahoo Answers account. Notice how he jumps in to give "truth" to the matter. His girlfriend has not been on Yahoo Answers since.
- How can I last longer in bed?
- Is Professor Snape a Republican or a Democrat? - Seriously.
- Why do I have such a strange sex drive? - LtFlagger shedding some light on his pedophiliac tendencies. He doesn't remember his childhood before the age of 12.
- Women Only Please! If you had a chance, would you date me?
On August 1st, 2011 LTFlagger was found playing HZ under alias "directv2". Evidence of his return was provided by Beat- on Hockey Zone forums. Beat- had formed a pretend e-friendship with directv2 but he let his guard down by revealing to Beat- that he was indeed LTFlagger and provided him with an invite to Google+. Further evidence supporting Beat- was the return of the LTFlagger alias on the day of accusal. LTFlagger double cliented to try and prove that directv2 was indeed a different alias but because his brain lacks basic reasoning more HZ players were believing the claims of Beat-. Despite there being irrefutable evidence against LTFlagger, still to this day he denies everything. The zone staff of HZ have been protecting this fugitive for years and even with all this evidence against LTFlagger, zone staff have promoted him to referee (in which he refs 99.99% of games). Since the revelation he has taken all his anger out by being biased against players on teams who support the anti-LTFlagger movement.
Since the LTFlagger alias confirmation an additional investigation has been undertaken by Beat- to locate the whereabouts of Tally3993. Early reports suggest that she is living with LTFlagger under another alias not yet known due to the double client by LTFlagger/directv2. If you have any information please contact Beat- via message.
UPDATE, OH SHIT NIGGA YOU'S GOT HACKED
Uh oh, spaghettio's!
Let him know how much you respect him!
E-Mail: [email protected]
Yahoo Messenger: streysius
LtFlagger is part of a series on90px