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    Krystal Can't Enjoy Her Sandwich

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    The original.

    Krystal Can't Enjoy Her Sandwich is a meme which started on FurAffinity in which an artist made an artwork of a landscape and for no reason, decided to place a drawing of Krystal from Starfox, naked, eating a sammich on the bottom left corner of said artwork. This later led to a troll account called "krystalcantenjoyhersandwich" taking the drawing, cuntpasting it onto several pictures taken from Google and spamming the site with them.


    Meme Avatars

    Our story begins on July 9th when Cbee posted an image to his FurAffinity gallery depicting an average looking landscape scene he drew on the Kemonoart oekaki board. Since FurAffinity is known to be run by douchebags, he added in a doodle of Krystal eating a sandwich in order to pass their unspoken "There must be a furry in teh pictuuurre!" rule. Many people favorite the image due to its apparent hilarity and life goes on as normal.

    Go forward several weeks, to July 22nd, and enter user krystalcantenjoyhersandwich. Apparently attracted by the EXTREME LULZ of cbee's image, said user begins photoshopping Krystal on top of scenes where she can't enjoy her sandwich and use them to spam the fuck out of their own FurAffinity gallery. The troll then made the drawing into an oh exploitable, causing much drama between the admins and those who enjoyed the meme. Admins were pissed off, baleeted anything to do with the original picture, and banhammered both the troll and the original artist (the latter for a brief period), sparking a furious amount of furry drama.

    This of course attracts the attention of authoritarian, wannabe-admin Dave Hyena who tags the images as spam and then runs screaming to the rest of the FurFaggotry team, who, having just been disturbed from their all-penis, triple penetration, furry fuck fest fly off the handle and ban the shit out of krystalcantenjoyhersandwich's account.

    Of course, now the penises have been removed from their mouths, the furries start bickering and trolling each other arguing over what constitutes as spam and what does not.

    Fur Affinity itself states that items classify as spam when:

    Spamming Spamming is not, and will not, be tolerated on the site. It is considered spamming when:

    • More than three images with the exact same primary subject (e.g.a fursuit, Second Life character, etc.) are posted.
    • Multiple versions of the same exact submission with minor variation are posted. PLEASE NOTE: posting a sketch, ink and finalized image are acceptable.
    • The user is flooding the website and is considered to be abusing the site’s resources and bandwidth.

    Which apparently means that any FurFag artist that draws the same character more than once is OMG SPAMMING TEH COMMUNITY!

    So the admins group together, put on their cloaks and +5 wizard hats of BAN and start wiping out anything and everything they can find pertaining to this meme: Krystal and eating sandwiches. In their attempt to LAY DOWN TEH POWAR!!111! they banned Cbee too (probably due to the fact that she's eating a sandwich rather than the immense throbbing penis of a 6'2 wolf and his bondage-fox fuck buddy) even though he had nothing to do with the gag at all.

    Luckily for him, this was pointed out and the ban was lifted by Pinkuh, who offered an apology and admitted a mistake.

    Of course this spreads like wildfire and artists all over the FurFaggotry site start drawing up their characters either enjoying, or for some reason being unable to enjoy their food. The extreme popularity of this meme gets to the point where the entire site is spammed with Krystal-inspired, sandwich eating artwork. The furries throw fits as pr0n production is suddenly put on the backburner in favor of unsatisfactory sandwich experiences and continue trying to ban the everliving fuck out of anyone who dare speak Krystal's name. But it was too late. By Tuesday the 24th, furry webcomic Vinci & Arty was already featuring Krystal and by the morning of Wednesday the 25th, even FurAffinity's own logo had been changed to show the site's faggot mascot Fender eating his own tie.

    The kicker?

    Wolfblade, some smartassed furfag admin decided it would be EXTREEEEEME lulz to not only place the ban on krystalcantenjoyhersandwich 's account, but also to modify the profile description from "I just want to enjoy a sandwich" to "I just want to spam the site." as well. Well done FurAffinity, kudos for keeping the childish, immature bullshit off your precious website. You can go back to being anally raped by a seven-breasted, four-eyed, cat-wolf-hyena with eleven penises now.

    The End

    Last Thursday, something amazing happened. The site was unbanned, and the "spammer" posted the final image to this meme. Many believe this to be truly epic.


    Apparently, Valve saw this coming so they also added their "own idea" (WHAT IS PLAGIARISM? LOLOLOLOL) of the "Sandvich". Unintentionally, the faggots at Valve created a picture that looked too remarkably similar...


    Krystal Can't enjoy her sandwich... About missing Pics
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    See Also

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    Food and Drink

    [BleurghOm Nom Nom]

    Featured article August 1, 2007
    Preceded by
    Ron Mexico
    Krystal Can't Enjoy Her Sandwich Succeeded by
    Minneapolis Bridge Collapse