⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️

There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.

Æ Roadmap

  • Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically)
  • Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
  • Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
  • Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
  • .onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
  • CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
  • Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
  • Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)

  • Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.

    If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.

    You can also email me via [email protected]

    Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.

    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot



    Kpop

    From Encyclopedia Dramatica
    Jump to navigation Jump to search
    File:DatKoreanAss.gif
    Fans listen to it for the plot
    File:Psy.jpg
    According to the rest of the world, this is the only pop artist in South Korea
    File:Gangnam-Hump.gif
    No exceptions.

    Kpop (also known as Korean pop music or "the general spammed on /mu/ every day") is what the Korean equivalent of weeaboos listen to when not fapping to the identical-looking girls in kpop music videos. fans will not admit that they really want to be the girls in the videos. Fans of k-pop will viciously defend their surgically altered waifus by constantly stating that kpop is not the same as that bland, sexualized, corporate-owned American pop music with songs that all sound the same by talentless and forgettable artists who don't even write their own songs, in fact their beloved K-pop is typically written by the same people, cliched lyrics about shit like love and being cheated on, mandated rapping sections that have no place in the song, stupid dances made for the song, and focus on the sexual/fashion appeal of the artists rather than on the music. You see, kpop is different. In kpop, you have boy bands and girl groups made up of talentless and forgettable singers who are owned by a music company that writes their songs which are about cliched shit like liking a guy or being cheated on by a guy while doing poses and dances in the music video. These songs have a mandated rapping section sung not by some coked-out nigger like Kanye West or Lil Wayne but by a Korean who can't rap. So if the song inevitably sucks, at least it wasn't tainted by the presence of a darkie. The artists are so faceless (literally,thanks to all the plastic surgery) that if they refuse to suck off their producer in a bathhouse they get replaced by another singer and none of their fans will notice since all Koreans look and sound exactly alike. Clearly, kpop is nothing like generic pop music.





    The Music

    Just like Koreans, all kpop sounds the same. This is because the music in South Korea, just like cellphones, cars, and souls, is treated as a commodity. Management groups owned by large conglomerates either have rights to an artist's soul or bundle up a random bunch of asians into a group like a Costco value pack. Groups are chosen based on looks alone. All members are taught how to dance and look sexy while lip-syncing their dubbed or auto-tuned lines. The companies decide what they sing, what they wear during concerts and photo shoots, how they act in public, and how much semen they must swallow from stock holders before their contract is renewed (This applies to both the male and female artists). To make more monies, the companies will take random members of a group and create a "sub-unit" which sings the same shit as the regular group but under a different name, thus creating the musical equivalent of DLC. The only variety in kpop is whether the bland studio-produced song is sung by an ultra faggy male idol, a young,skinny,light-skinned female idol, a girl group made up of said idols, or a hyper feminine boy band that makes Visual Kei look masculine by comparison. When a member complains that they want to be taken seriously, they are laughed out of the studio, replaced, and sacrificed to ensure next year's crop of nappa cabbage is plenty.

    The Bands

    File:Oneofkind.gif
    Your average K-pop group
    File:Koreanboyband.jpg
    These men are perfectly straight

    To reflect the fact that they are owned by their corporate overlords, kpop groups are categorized by ridiculous group names that sound like serial codes you would find on a price scanner after tagging an item at Walmart or stock names you would see on the NasDaq. Examples include:


    • T-Ara
    • 2NE1
    • UKISS
    • MBLAQ
    • BAQX
    • LEDApple
    • 4Minute
    • B1A4
    • 5T1ME
    • Girl's Generation
    • FT Island
    • KIM-T
    • BEAST
    • CNBlue


    At least 3 of those names were made up. Can you guess which ones?

    The Fans

    Kpop fans are the musical equivalent of PewDiepie's audience and will viciously defend their genre and fapping material to the death. They swarm /mu/ like a pack of socially-inept locusts, posting kpop generals left and right in order to impress the hipsters lurking the board with their "unique" tastes. Kpop fans are mainly korean weeaboos (Koreaboo) who try to stand out from the crowd of other ronery, anime-obsessed, basement dwellers by latching onto the culture of another asian country that isn't Japan. What many of them don't know is that, like most idols and boy bands, Kpop is mostly marketed to a tween audience comprising of 14 year old Korean girls. In other words, kpop fans don't realize that they are the equivalent of Chinese manchildren fapping to One Direction. The kpop fandom is comprised mainly of: people who are actually Korean, Koreaboos, ronery men with yellow fever, fat twilight fangirls who drool over the hyper-faggy boy groups, and Filipinos who wish they looked more like the asian people in the music video rather than being the ugly asian bastard race.

    Jenny Hyun

    Last Thursday, a songwriter who wrote singles for groups like Girl's Generation named Jenny Hyun was scouring the interwebs for western pop songs she could steal when she came across pol. After browsing the board for less than 1.4 seconds, she became a nigger-hating, Korean nationalist who fought to maintain South Korea's racial purity from the evil forces of dark-skinned diversity. In response to a tweet made by professional boxer Floyd Mayweather about why some asian guy becoming a pro-basketball player was big news when black people do it all the time, Hyun responded rationally to his dumb comment by declaring the eradication of the black race. Below is a compilation of her Nuremberg speech. Meanwhile on the kpop scene, There is much anticipation over her new upcoming singles "HEIL★HEIL★HEIL♥HITLER-STYLE!" and "깜둥이가 다이 다이!".

    Even Chinks hate Niggers which would explain their many differences.

    Asians are intelligent and docile. Niggers are stupid and wild. Asians have an interesting, high-tech culture. Niggers have an cannibalistic culture. Asians have small dicks. Niggers have big dicks. Asians have small lips. Niggers have huge lips. Asians love each other. Niggers hate each other. Asians are warm and welcoming. Niggers are aggressive and abrasive. Asians have small and squinty eyes. Niggers have big/ugly googly eyes.

    Both are subhuman scum as neither of them are Caucasian. Mongolians slightly resemble monkeys whereas the Negroid DNA IS 69% monkey, which explains their urgent need for sex. As a punishment God gave them pubes on their heads, read more in Nigger.

    Niggers promote all white kids to be either; Wiggers, Thugs, Slackers or Douchebags while on the other hand Asians promote white kids to become; Heathens, Weeaboos, Koreaboos, Nintendofags or Demonic Buddhists. ALL allowed and encouraged by the subhuman Jewish assholes.

    Mexicans perspective on Asians and Niggers. Hope you enjoyed!

    File:Jennyhyunmeltdown.jpg

    After the media fiasco, Hyun responded with the following:


       
     
    I regret nothing
     

     
     

    —Jenny Hyun

    Videos


    The following videos will make you question your sexuality


    See Also

    Portal music.png

    Kpop is part of a series on

    Music

    Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage.

    Pika Pika.gif

    Kpop is related to a series on AZNS.

    [Domo ArigatoHerrow]

    150px

    More Dangerous Than They Look

    Nevada-tanHideki KamiyaJiverly VoongKenneth EngLindsay Kantha SouvannarathRiboflavinRockonlittleoneWayne ChiangMutsuo ToiElliot RodgerPoisonIvyLulKatoOtoya YamaguchiBus UncleVincent Li

    Noted Tyrants

    Chairman MaoCho Seung HuiHirohitoKim Jong IllPol PotEllen Pao

    Cam Whores

    Ayuka NaritaBiostudentgirlEelgirlEmotion EricHard GayLittle FattyTila TequilaTubgirlThe Wine KoneTrap-kunXiao RishuYuri Kochiyama

    Weeaboos

    AimeeApplemilk1988Arudou DebitoDesu-radioFiredarkdragonFred GallagherHidoshiJellobunsKevin and KatMari IijimaMRirianPyroboobyReyvataeilSnapesnoggerSe-chanTwo-Ton-NekoValerie (Pai)ZS3

    Musical Endeavors

    J-EmoJ-PopJ-RockKpop

    Me No Rikey Velly Much

    Rucka Rucka AliMiley CyrusMark WahlbergUnited Airlines

    Azn Stuff

    Edison Chen photo scandalAnti-CNNFan deathMilkMizhi County No. 3 Middle School AttackPockyRamenRicersThe SATYaeba

    Featured article August 18th & 19th, 2014
    Preceded by
    HowToBasic
    Kpop Succeeded by
    Zoe Quinn