KingMasterReview

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Aspergerbenice.gif This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(


Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
File:KingMasterReview.JPG
KingMasterReview, also known as Aubrey Taylor.

KingMasterReview, or Aubrey, is quite obviously retarded. This child likes to repeat himself constantly, stutters like a motherfucker, has clearly no knowledge whatsoever of sentence structure, and has the approximate cognitive ability of a three-year-old who has suffered severe brain damage as a result of consuming non-lethal amounts of bleach. Listening to him attempt to form a coherent sentence is roughly equivalent to that of watching paint dry underwater. What precisely is wrong with this little cuntmuffin is currently unknown, but one can safely assume it's probably autism. If not, then it's something much more severe. All of this, along with how he found his way to the internet, can be explained through one simple fact about our dear Aubrey: he is a fan of the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise. Although he may appear to be your run-of-the-mill retard (which he is), there is more to our simple little friend. Not much, but there is more.

Oh, and he's black, yeah.

Enter YouTube

Aubrey, soon after emerging from the horrid plane that is the Sonic fandom, set his sights on the internet. He soon found a social networking site known as YouTube where he registered under the name of KingMasterReview, because he is clearly the king and master of reviews. As his name implies, he makes reviews about pretty much everything that makes his dick hard, which includes everything related to Sonic the Hedgehog.

Obsession With Silver the Hedgehog

Aubrey's love for Sonic is only overshadowed by one thing: Aubrey's love for Silver. His obsession with Silver has extended to a point beyond our comprehension. Aubrey is convinced Silver the Hedgehog is real. This is, in no way, an exaggeration.

A shining example of how convinced Aubrey is that Silver the Hedgehog is real (along with his horrific grammar and annoying voice) can be found in the following video, in which he pretends to be Silver and begs for his own game. And, yes, Aubrey has convinced himself that this is Silver the Hedgehog speaking in the video.

It gets worse. It gets so much worse.

But, wait, it gets worse. Aubrey has convinced himself that Silver the Hedgehog is living with him (to which he provides the explanation that The Noid lives with Spax3), which has manifested itself in YouTube videos featuring an audio between Aubrey, and himself pretending to be Silver. At first glance, one might assume this video is intended to be humor. However, it is undeniable. Aubrey believes Silver the Hedgehog is living with him.

Reaction to Trolling

He's doin' it for fun.

One day, Aubrey came across somebody who was unlike any person he had ever encountered on the internet. Rather than giving Aubrey praise for his reviews about the Sonic franchise, this person attacked Aubrey. This person, was BLACKbusterCritic. Aubrey, having never experienced criticism before, did not know what to do. He had become part of BLACKbusterCritic's Sonic Brainfart Series, a mini-series on YouTube dedicated to making fun of Sonic fans. Pure fucking lulz ensued.

The unspeakable had happened: someone had made fun of him on the internet.

Aubrey was absolutely desperate. Never would he have expected anyone to make fun of him for having anal sex with Silver the Hedgehog (which was really himself) and putting it on YouTube for the world to see. This was all happening too fast for his mind to react. His only option was to make a video entitled, "Hert Fellings," in which he explained to the world how he is not a Sonic fag, putting up the argument that he loves his family and that he's an intelligent young man (yes, those are seriously the reasons he gave).

Quotes

   
 
So umm...
 

 
 

—KingMasterReview

   
 
I like the werehog. I like him. He's so furry. I like him. I like the werehog.

I like him, I like him.
 


 
 

—KingMasterReview

   
 
So umm...
 

 
 

—KingMasterReview

   
 
So umm... So umm... How about I just stick my penis right up in there and how about we just get it on, Silver, uh, you know, like, uh, how about we just get it on, and, you know, let me just stick my penis in there?
 

 
 

—KingMasterReview, to Silver the Hedgehog (which is really himself pretending to be Silver).

   
 
So umm...
 

 
 

—KingMasterReview

   
 
I'm really not a big fan of school. I'm really not a big fan of school. I don't like school. I'm really not a big fan of school.
 

 
 

—KingMasterReview

   
 
So umm...
 

 
 

—KingMasterReview

   
 
My fellings [sic] are hert [sic].
 

 
 

—KingMasterReview

   
 
So umm...
 

 
 

—KingMasterReview

   
 
Please, everyone, I'm not try--, I'm not trying to be like the new Spax3 or nothing, no, no,no. I'm not trying to be like the new Spax3. I am so nice.
 

 
 

—KingMasterReview's attempt at claiming not to be a Sonic fag.

   
 
So umm...
 

 
 

—KingMasterReview

   
 
Okay, I will admit, Spax3's been mean to me-- being mean to me sometimes, I will admit. Spax3's been mean to me-- being mean to me sometimes. But, I respect Spax3's opinion.
 

 
 

—KingMasterReview's attempt at claiming not to be a Sonic fag.

   
 
So umm...
 

 
 

—KingMasterReview

   
 
I am a nice, intelligent guy.
 

 
 

—KingMasterReview's attempt at claiming not to be a Sonic fag.

   
 
So umm...
 

 
 

—KingMasterReview

   
 
I love my grandmother, I love my grandfather, I love my uncle, I love my entire family.
 

 
 

—KingMasterReview's attempt at claiming not to be a Sonic fag.

   
 
So umm...
 

 
 

—KingMasterReview

   
 
Just love the blue hedgehog with all your heart, and you are a true Sonic fan.
 

 
 

—KingMasterReview, explaining how he ISN'T a Sonic fag.

   
 
So umm...
 

 
 

—KingMasterReview

   
 
Hellokeengmustrviewhere gub guhblubnurb gurk blub haphap Silverthehedgehog glug
 

 
 

—How KingMasterReview sounds like to Everyone.

Spax3

File:EmoSpax.PNG
KingMasterReview's main source of inspiration.

Aubrey tends to mention Spax3 quite a lot. He brings up how Spax3 believes he lived with The Noid when he explains why Silver is living with him. He admits to respecting him, as well as being inspired by him. He also brought up in his "Hert Fellings" video that Spax3 has been mean to him, implying that he has acknowledged Aubrey's existence to a certain extent at some point (of which acknowledgement is more than likely negative). However, Aubrey has not yet brought up the incident involving Spax3's lolsuits against YouTube. Whether Aubrey is aware of such incident is unknown, but if he is, he's simply too stupid to understand what had happened (face it, this kid can't possibly know what a lawsuit is).

But the main point here is, Spax3 appears to be a big part of Aubrey's life, which, actually, explains a lot everything.

Aubrey is well aware of Spax's reputation, having put his two cents in on everyone's joy to his departure from YouTube. However, despite this, he still kisses his ass.

The return of the "King"

External Links

See also

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