Joy Division

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Typical Joy Division merchandise
Typical Joy Division Fan
Ian Curtis of Joy Division.jpg

Joy Division was a post-punk British band from at least 100 years ago. There were four members but no one cares about any of them except Ian Curtis. The band took their name from a book about WWII, the joy division being a group of Jew women kept alive to work in concentration camp brothels. Because of this connection, Joy Division were often accused of being Nazi-sympathizers. They probably were. Art school students love Joy Division because art school students love old, "obscure", depressing music/music they can cut to.

Ian Curtis

This isn't Epilepsy. Ian was just a fucking Spaz.

After releasing one album, finishing another, and doing European tours, Ian Curtis hung himself in 1980. This was presumably because of the stress of sudden success, having a hot foreign mistress but an angry frumpy wife, and severe epilepsy. Most of that sucks, except for the hot foreign mistress part. In all likeliness, he did it for the same reason Hitler killed himself: for the lulz. The next day, his estranged wife came home and discovered his body and she got scared and said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." He was then cremated, as most WWII Jews were, and buried in his hometown of Macclesfield which, for the record, he hated. Even in death, our hero is denied happiness. No wonder he became an hero.
Hilariously, the rest of the band became rich and famous as soon as this twitchy albatross exited the band.

The Ian Curtis/Joy Division Movie

Recently, a movie about Ian Curtis and Joy Division was released and many critics praised it. The movie, Control, was intended to be a drama, however, it often brought the lulz because the only thing funnier than seizures is watching someone have fake seizures for the sake of art.


Many current bands were influenced by Joy Division. However, not enough bands realized that the best way to emulate Joy Division is to have your lead singer kill him-or-herself before they start churning out shitty music. The following bands have tried to be reminiscent of Joy Division [and have probably failed]:

  • My Chemical Romance - In a February 2007 Mojo magazine column, frontman Gerard Way is supposed to talk about Joy Division's music... but mostly talks about himself and art school.
  • Fall Out Boy - Their cover of "Love Will Tear Us Apart" made 16-year-old girls cream themselves. Everyone else wanted to engage in self-harm.
  • Nirvana - Lead singer + suicide = people giving a shit.
  • Prussian Blue - More Nazi sympathizers!
  • U2 - Bono has been reported to fantasize about buttsecks with Ian Curtis. This might have contributed to Curtis's suicide.
  • Interpol - Monotone voices unite! Only not, since Ian Curtis is dead. Fail.
  • Any other band with with a member who committed suicide, inability to play their instruments, and/or sing in more than one tone.
  • Teenage girls on tumblr who wear the band shirt because they think it makes them look indie and hipster and sophisticated.
  • Also, inevitably, Mudkips.

See Also

External Links

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