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Æ Roadmap

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    Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021! - aediot



    Joutchkov

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    FUCKING UPDATE

    JOUTCHKOV ITSELF QUOTED THIS ARTICLE IN A "TAKE THIS H8RS" VIDEO AND THEN PROCEEDS TO SHOW FOOTAGE OF HIM TEASING AND EDGING HIS MASTURBATING FANBASE:

    File:Joutchkov.jpg
    Nice dick you got there

    Joutchkov AKA Artem Joutchkov and Pedo bait was and still is a 13 year old boy most notable for being an astonishingly popular E-whore. Born in the land of communism and vodka, Artem was born a Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Baby (as is every Ruskie) and was endowed with a significant amount of retard strength. He constantly makes basement videos of himself just one step under CP and one step above shota by standing around in compression shorts and flexing for a regular audience of forty year old men. He loves to be called skinny or otherwise anorexic and secretly has a fetish for being insulted. However, despite having only enough brain cells to turn on a camera and contract his muscles, he has, after years of complex planning, devised a ploy of true genius and cunning, simply done through paypal where he has pleads for his pedophile audience to send in cash for moar videos, thus creating some lulz as well as a Hilarious|horribly difficult story to explain to his partner and their future adopted children.

    Website

    Artem somehow is able to steal enough cash from his parents wallet (and swindle people out of their cash with the promise of penis) each year to support his faux pornography website. Even though it is quite clunky and on the teetering edges of crashing, miraculously, his enormous gallery of flex imagery manages to stay up with no trouble. On the site is a TL;DR About Me page consisting of one long paragraph that of which consists of USI and multiple instances of CAPS LOCK with superfluous exclamation points!!!! As well as the story telling ability of an autistic sixth grader, with a hyperbole and bragging at every turn.


       
     
    When I hit High School that's when I realized damn I'm one skinny kid! I didn't understand that I was a Ectomorph and that I burned near 4,000 or more calories a day along with sports.
     

     
     

    —Artem

    Almost too regularly, this kid creates a new video of himself in the pursuit of robbing child molesters blind, each of them achieving multiple thousands of views, the ones with him topless as a thumbnail having all the more. It can be theorized for every one thousand views any of his videos obtain, another gallon of semen can be accounted for.

    He also has multiple fitness articles on how to conduct one's self during an exercise, but since none of them even have a single comment and anybody who uses the internet can't fit out their doorway, it isn't unfair to assume nobody cares and is simply there to fap.

    The site is also one of the biggest hives of false accounts with copied pictures of teenage boys flexing found on the internet.

    The Closet

    Among all the videos Joutchkov has made, he has managed to attract a small group of rational people telling him that over 9000% of his viewers are ejaculating onto the screen as of right now. Also, that he was quite obviously a tremendous faggot and should stop should doing what he's doing should he ever want to be employed at anywhere but a strip club. However he ignores and deletes such comments, and pays a particular amount of attention to those who call him skinny and became sarcastically and ridiculously butthurt over them. To which he replied:

    His legion of a pedophile fanbase are always at the ready to protect him even though he stated in the video he eats meat until he can no longer, they are at a constant call to arms against anybody who says he's thin, calls him a "phaggot" or claims he doesn't even lift. However, that video was made over a year ago, and since then nothing has been accomplished, he is still an anorexic whore, he still has fapping 40 year old fans and he still very much enjoys the D. He will also BAWWWW at this article.

    File:AnorexicHalfGirl.jpg
    I'm not Fucking Skinny H8trs!

    He also has caught the attention of the Bodybuilding.com, who have made numerous, pathetic attempts at doing what they call "trolling them", but since everyone on the site is a meathead/roid munching cunt/High school graduate with a 1.0 GPA, anything more sophisticated than calling him a 'phaggot' is yet to be seen or discovered among them, as altering prefixes for insults is as sophisticated as it gets.

    See Also

    External Links


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