⚠️ Encyclopedia Dramatica is currently being restored by automated scripts ⚠️
There's been a lot of questions as to what's going on with the site and what comes next. So we have this (ordered) roadmap of what's being worked on and what's to come. This will be updated until the roadmap is complete as Æ has a lot of missing features and ideas that I'd like to fix in regards to its offerings before I implement big plans for the site's popularity and well-being in 2021.
Content restoration (Mostly done, few things missing that will be restored sporadically) Image restoration (Being run in background, nothing I can do cept wait)
Æ Imageboard (Currently being worked on)
Mediawiki upgrade and backend fixes
.onion domain for Tor-friendly editing and viewing
CSS overhaul (Fixing things like the videos on mobile, and overall a rehaul of the wiki's look to be more friendly to readers)
Paid bounty board for new articles (Won't be managed by me for legal reasons however I will ensure it runs smoothly)
Anonymous phone # service for those seeking ban evades from Twitter as well as a phone number not tied to their name (more details at launch)
Currently we are nearing our annual LLC renewal fee ($650) as well throwing the funds required for these other changes and aspects. If you would like to support Æ consider purchasing a copy of The Hustler's Bible or securing some Merch. Donating is also appreciated however I would rather give something back as per the two options above.
If you have any questions you can join our public Telegram chat to DM me privately or @ me in chat.
You can also email me via [email protected]
Merch notes: Thank you to all who have purchased merch. We will ship late January or mid February depending on our provider's speed.
Here's to setting the world on fire in 2021!
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|File:Aspergerbenice.gif||This person has Assburgers Syndrome, |
so you can't say anything bad! :-(
Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ.
BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.
Jonathan Niehaus aka Zoojay (Born June 3rd, 1986) is an overweight, aspie, virgin, and bestiality songwriter ; who sounds like the lovechild of Cartman and Chris Chan when he speaks. He is a 27 year old zoophile who still lives with his parents in Indiana. More importantly he got fired from his job at the pet store for molesting dogs, and is notable for videotaping himself molesting his aunts' huskies. Jonathan is a seriously disturbed furfag with too much time on his hands. Finally, almost all of the songs he produces are about having sex with dogs, or his burning desire to get a canine of his own.
As was stated earlier, Johnathan has written over 30 songs about his desire to rape a dog - in graphic detail. A majority of his songs consists of him singing about finding a dog (or owning one) and fucking it until one of them gets a bleeding asshole. Most of his songs have a particular dog as its' focus; A Siberian Husky.
Essential listening are: "I need or want a Siberian husky right now", "Anal sex (with the doggy)", "Husky cock", "Legalized bestiality needs to happen", "Sex with Huskies, again?!!", "Mate that pussy", and "Huskies in need (for sex)". Another theme of his songs is his hatred for his own father. And it gets much worse...
He's also ripped off at least a few songs that are known of. An example of his song theft is his song Aww, Cute Dog, which is no more than an Autotune version of Two Ton Paperweight with Johnathan's vocals, possibly also autotuned. Did we forget to mention that he charges listeners to listen to these copyright infringed songs?
— Sure it would, Zoojay
With copyrighted songs about bestiality and huskies on sites such as last.fm and Amazon, you might not be surprised to find that Jonathan has arranged these songs in albums with cover art. Besides one cover featuring a picture of a husky, the rest include Mspaint cover art that looks like it was done by a 5 year old or an autistic man in his mid twenties.
- Niehaus cd cover 0.jpg
- Niehaus cd cover 3.jpg
- Niehaus cd cover 5.jpg
Then came the moment when Zoojay realized that his music neither was going to make him rich enough to buy a dog or a house, change the laws against bestiality, get him on the radio, or make him famous. He quit making music due to his mom's and his belief that his music about dog-raping could get him into legal trouble.
Raping dogs on video, furfaggotry, and Xtube
—Zoojay mad at his aunt
If you believed that Johnathan isn't being serious about what he sings about and believe that he's a very convincing troll, you are sadly mistaken. Johnathan has a history of raping dogs, which was why he got fired from working at a pet store and from a volunteering at the humane society.
Johnathan had followed his aunt's dogs with a video camera multiple times to film them. He later fapped to the footage and showed it off in bestiality forums. Such videos contain Johnathan videotaping his aunt's dogs pissing, Johnathan slobbing all over one of the huskies' mouth, and even him bending over to let one of the dogs mount his fat ass.
Here's a few videos to demonstrate that:
It's no surprise that Johnathan would also have an Xtube. Johnathan used the site to promote something more terrifying than dog rape; himself. He filmed himself lifting his pubic mound to pee in the toilet and fapping while in a cheap Walmart werewolf costume. He had also uploaded quite a bit of his nudes onto the site.
It was only a matter of time before his own parents caught wind of his antics and decided to do something about it. Instead of banning Johnathan from the internet permanently and never allowing him near computer, they decided to give him a new computer "when he is ready." Of course, Johnathan didn't take the news well. Feeling frustrated by his parents, he went onto Twitter and bitched about the situation - even to the point where he threatened to kill his own father.
The next step was for his parents and his own therapist was to make him give up his flashdrives filled with bestiality porn and to delete his Xtube account. After Johnathan deleted his account and given up his flash drives, he considered becoming an hero, unable to cope with the loss.
His parents, being as computer literate as their own son, bought their son a new laptop, believing that their son couldn't fap to animal porn anymore with the loss of his flash drives, his old computer, and his word. Of course, Johnathan has as much willpower as a heroin addict and is back to fapping and posting on Twitter. A few days later, he deleted his Twitter account.
Niehaus made a lot of sites to show his creepiness and music, he almost always updates his Facebook and
deleted http://twitter.com/ZoojayWerewolfdeleted Old myspace accountarchived
http://www.xtube.com/community/profile.php?user=zoojay_wolfPwned by his own father
- http://tinypic.com/r/zr1jd/6/ Poor dog NSFW
- Sick Fuck
- Mr Hands
- Onigojirakaiju - A sick fuck with a reptile fetish.
- Victim complex
- Bubblegum Husky
is part of a series on
Bad things that happen to animals 120px
Jonathan Niehaus is part of a series on
Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.
Jonathan Niehaus is part of a series on
Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage.
|Featured article October 11 & 12, 2012|
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