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    Jeff Dunham

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    File:Jeff Dunham With Puppet.jpg
    An example of something that isn't funny

    Jeff Dunham is an unfunny, comedy hack, faggot of a "comedian" who has appeared on numerous television shows, and is familiar to fantards for his three excruciating, mind-numbing TV specials: "Jeff Dunham: Arguing with My Ex-Wife About Who Gets Custody", "Jeff Dunham: Brink of Insanity", and "Jeff Dunham's Very Repetitive Christmas Special". His style has been described as "Achmed The Dead Terrorist" and "Attempting to push the phrase "I kill you!" as a forced meme on the audience". Describing his characters, Time Magazine observes, "This must be a joke. Surely a grown man wouldn't attempt to base his career off of playing with dolls." His show, entitled "The Jeff Dunham Show", was a terrible idea.

    Dunham has been called "a pretty cool guy" by most reviewers, due to the fact that "eh does terrible puppet-routines and doesn't afraid of anything." Brink of Insanity received the best reviews of any DVD on Amazon in 2008, and Jeff Dunham's Very Repetitive Christmas Special was the most-watched telecast in history. In addition to being completely unfunny Dunham is also not really that good of a ventriloquist. Though many of his fan are impressed by his skillz, and say things like he's the "best ventriloquist I ever saw". But the reality is he's likely the only ventriloquist they've ever seen.

    Early Life

    Dunham grew up an only child, and never had anyone to play with when he was small. He has used puppets to communicate his feelings and emotions since he knew how to speak. He began ventriloquism, and a star was born. He considers it a learned skill, similar to stand-up comedy, but for people without a sense of worth.

    Career ("I Kill You")

    The entirety of Dunham's stand-up performance can be illustrated by: (>^.^(>O_o)>

    File:Rentthing.jpg
    Hay guyz, am I late for the bukkake?

    Dunham appeared on Broadway in 2001. This early experience, in which he used characters like Achmed The Dead Terrorist, taught him the value of sticking to one joke, as the Achmed joke "I kill you" was the only joke received by audiences as lulzy. Therefore, Dunham spams it relentlessly during every performance, plugging it in whenever possible.

    Dunham's sad excuse for a comedy act is the driving force behind the lulz-buzzkill that is Comedy Central. Clogging the network almost as frequently as Blue Collar Comedy Tour, Dunham's ventriloquist act rapes the network on a daily basis. After his pending divorce, he will hopefully become an hero.

    A Typical Performance

    Reaction To Performance

       
     
    Yo, this shit is funnier than Mind of Mencia!
     

     
     

    —(Comedy Central's Target Audience)

    Characters

    Achmed the Dead Terrorist

    Achmed the Dead Terrorist is a filthy, dirty muslim. Contrary to advertisements, he is the only puppet used during Dunham's act. The audience loves Achmed mostly because he did WTC. Get it right, you moron. 90% of this part of Dunham's act is Achmed randomly saying "Silence! I kill you" and "Infidels!". This is supposedly the stuff that generates lulz if you judge it based on the laughter of his audiences; however, scientists have yet to find any lulz actually contained in these phrases.

    File:Peanutpenis.jpg
    No exceptions (so you didn't have to)

    Peanut

    Peanut is one of the many unused puppets he keeps locked away in his onstage toy chest. He serves solely as Dunham's rape-buffet, as Dunham is obviously a closet furfag.

    Jose the Jalepeno On a Stick

    Jose the Japeleno On a Stick is a Mexican, so he stays home to mow the lawn, trim the hedges, and dust the house while Dunham is on tour.

    Bubba Jay

    Bubba Jay loves beer, NASCAR, and incest. A puppet likeness of Larry the Cable Guy, he connects with the fanbase of Jeff Dunham, due to his taste in brainless humor.

    Melvin the Superhero Guy

    Melvin the Superhero Guy is a big-nosed, beady-eyed Jew (Is there any other kind?) with multiple speech impediments that cause him to not say anything right EVAR. A tremendous failure who should really gb2Auschwitz.

    Walter

    Walter is an old dickhead. He's basically an excuse for Jeff to stick his hand up a geezer's ass and make fun of his future.

    Some other Black Guy

    Noone cares about him.

    The Jeff Dunham Show

    Seemingly in an effort to prove humanity lost it's way, the show's premiere got huge ratings with 5.3 million viewers (the best premiere of a Comedy Central show ever). Many were shocked to find the show actually succeeded in being more unfunny than his stand up.


       
     
    Before I talk about last night's premiere of The Jeff Dunham Show on Comedy Central, I would first like to issue a couple of apologies. I'm sorry, Jay Leno, I was wrong. Your comedy is hackneyed, aggressively middlebrow, toothless, and focuses way too much on your expensive car collection, and your exit from the Tonight Show only to reclaim the 10PM slot was obnoxious. But you are the Louis C.K. of late night with the manners of Princess Grace compared to Jeff Dunham. And I'm sorry, Seth MacFarlane, I was wrong. Your TV shows are stupid, repetitive, poorly written, and insufferably scatalogical, and you yourself seem to be excessively arrogant and self-congratulatory, with terrible taste in leather jackets and hand tanning. But you are the thinking man's (pre-Soon-Yi) Woody Allen, blazing Mark Twainian paths of comedic invention compared to Jeff Dunham and his horror show of backwoods racist, homophobic, misogynistic, anti-semitic, shithead puppets.

    If I had to sum up my feelings and reactions to The Jeff Dunham Show in a single sentence it would be FUCK THIS SHOW IN THE FACE UNTIL IT DIES.
     


     
     

    Truth [1]

    In an amazing turn of events even many of his fans didn't like the show either, and the ratings fell faster than WTC. In a showing of mercy Comedy Central canceled the show on December 29th, 2009. It's hoped that this is a sign that the tide is turning against hack comedians, but we're probably not that lucky.

    See Also

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